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If you blow out a jack-o-lantern on Halloween you deserve to be stabbed by a lollipop. ~ ryan corderman
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It's important to follow traditions on Halloween. ~ ryan corderman
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Burying a dead body is a real pain in the ass. ~ ryan corderman
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Lollipops are surprisingly good weapons! ~ ryan corderman
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If you don't have a pumpkin to carve, severed heads work in a pinch! ~ ryan corderman
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Always check your date to make sure she isn't a werewolf. ~ ryan corderman
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If you drive a bus that was in an infamous accident you will hate Halloween. ~ ryan corderman
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Zombie children like to get revenge. ~ ryan corderman
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Little boys don't miss the opportunity to peek at older girls changing into their Halloween costumes. ~ SRV
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If you're a male with average to below average looks and a pretty woman asks you to be her date, assume she is a werewolf. ~ Dirtleg79
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It's wise to inspect your Halloween candy for poison before indulging in it. ~ IanM1986
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If your wife wants to take down Halloween decorations, just put on a sad face. She'll end up letting you put on the tape. ~ Dirtleg79
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Don't run from dead children with chains hanging from you, easy prey. ~ Dirtleg79
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Old people do not use cell phones. ~ bourbonphantom
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Halloween is the best time of the year to murder people. ~ bourbonphantom
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If you mess with retards you will be eaten by zombie retards. ~ bourbonphantom
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Samhain, also known as All Hallows' Eve, also known as Halloween. Pre-dating Christianity, the Celtic holiday was celebrated on the one night between autumn and winter when the barrier between the living and the dead was thinnest, and often involved rituals that included human sacrifice. ~ Rhondatrt
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