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Your son will draw pictures of you dying if you dare miss one of his baseball games. And your daughter will be excited to show you the pictures. ~ IanM1986
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The nutty old man really did lose his marbles, really! ~ TiffYG2133
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It’s socially acceptable to answer your cell phone during school plays. ~ IanM1986
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In some parts of the country, December is still baseball season. ~ IanM1986
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If you can’t be present for your son’s baseball games, send someone to videotape it to show that you care. ~ IanM1986
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Striking out in baseball brings shame to yourself and everyone around you. ~ IanM1986
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Pirates have a strange fascination with shoes. ~ IanM1986
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Smee has the ability to acquire confidential records of anyone in the world. ~ IanM1986
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Identical twins will perform every task in perfect sync with each other. ~ IanM1986
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If they’re hungry enough, dead crocodiles will come back to life for one last meal. ~ IanM1986
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It’s normal for adults to act like cowboys with their cell phones. ~ IanM1986
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Don’t leave your baseball out of your sight. Mean scary men like to steal them. ~ IanM1986
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You can use baseball gloves to catch things, move hot things or hit your sister. ~ IanM1986
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There are certain things that even rats won’t do. ~ IanM1986
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The Lost Boys will mock you if you show concern for their safety. ~ IanM1986
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Lying is unnecessary. The truth is far too much fun. ~ IanM1986
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Food that is not there can taste just as good as actual food. ~ IanM1986
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The Lost Boys say grace before every meal. The word, not the prayer. ~ IanM1986
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In baseball under pirate rules, stealing second base is punishable by death. ~ IanM1986
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After learning to fly, your clothes will suddenly change for no apparent reason. ~ IanM1986
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Peter Pan’s gots kids. ~ IanM1986
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No artillery weapons? No problem. Just throw the fat kid at everybody. ~ IanM1986
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To a ten year old, Captain Hook is huge. To an adult, not so much. ~ IanM1986
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If you're fighting Peter Pan, the best course of action is to jump out a window. ~ jkpetrich
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Some baseball plays are so spectacular that it causes the scene to immediately change. ~ IanM1986
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Airlines can have words of irony in their titles. ~ IanM1986
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Captain Hook is just as skilled at flying airplanes as he is commanding pirate ships. ~ IanM1986
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Turbulence is the best time to serve airline meals. ~ IanM1986
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You can’t break airplane windows. They are double-layered. ~ IanM1986
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The British always show good manners. Unless it’s snowing. ~ IanM1986
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Screaming is a traditional way to greet guests in England. ~ IanM1986
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During England's winter season, you can still comfortably wear a t-shirt with the house windows open. ~ IanM1986
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Paper smells nice. ~ IanM1986
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Before kidnapping children, pirates use green smoke to distract the adults. ~ IanM1986
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If your elderly guest of honor looks visibly ill, don’t call for paramedics. Just applaud. ~ IanM1986
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When there is a crisis, the English always make a cup of tea. ~ IanM1986
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There are no attractive women in Neverland. ~ IanM1986
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Ship Captains refuse to climb down stairs unless there is a red carpet. ~ IanM1986
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A pirate will kill one of their own if you try to bribe him. ~ IanM1986
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Everyone hates lawyers. Even children who don’t know what they are. ~ IanM1986
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Neverland is full of slimy things. Touch anything and it will probably leave a mark. ~ IanM1986
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Throwing a basketball at someone’s head is a good way to get him to play a game. ~ IanM1986
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Smee eats all of Hook’s meals for him. ~ IanM1986
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Spelling and grammar is not taught anywhere in Neverland. ~ IanM1986
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Rufio never passed a fifth-grade reading level. ~ IanM1986
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Lawyers will always prevail in insult contests. ~ IanM1986
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The war cry of the Lost Boys sounds like one of Batman’s gadgets. ~ IanM1986
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Neverland food is comprised mostly of play-doh. ~ IanM1986
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Destroying his watch is a great way to show your Dad that you are frustrated with him. ~ IanM1986
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Captain Hook needs a mother very very badly. ~ IanM1986
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A pirate is powerless without his wig. ~ IanM1986
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To live would be an awfully big adventure. ~ IanM1986
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Round overweight kids make great bowling ball weapons. ~ agentdc7
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Glenn Close ended up in the Boo Box. ~ AdeptusAce
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Granny Wendy is sort of the really real Wendy from the play. ~ IanM1986
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