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Hook

Last Updated
10/26/10
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IanM1986
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#1

Your son will draw pictures of you dying if you dare miss one of his baseball games. And your daughter will be excited to show you the pictures. ~ IanM1986
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    #2

    The nutty old man really did lose his marbles, really! ~ TiffYG2133
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      #3

      It’s socially acceptable to answer your cell phone during school plays. ~ IanM1986
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        #4

        In some parts of the country, December is still baseball season. ~ IanM1986
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          #5

          If you can’t be present for your son’s baseball games, send someone to videotape it to show that you care. ~ IanM1986
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            #6

            Striking out in baseball brings shame to yourself and everyone around you. ~ IanM1986
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              #7

              Pirates have a strange fascination with shoes. ~ IanM1986
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                #8

                Smee has the ability to acquire confidential records of anyone in the world. ~ IanM1986
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                  #9

                  Identical twins will perform every task in perfect sync with each other. ~ IanM1986
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                    #10

                    If they’re hungry enough, dead crocodiles will come back to life for one last meal. ~ IanM1986
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                      #11

                      It’s normal for adults to act like cowboys with their cell phones. ~ IanM1986
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                        #12

                        Don’t leave your baseball out of your sight. Mean scary men like to steal them. ~ IanM1986
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                          #13

                          You can use baseball gloves to catch things, move hot things or hit your sister. ~ IanM1986
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                            #14

                            There are certain things that even rats won’t do. ~ IanM1986
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                              #15

                              The Lost Boys will mock you if you show concern for their safety. ~ IanM1986
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                                #16

                                Lying is unnecessary. The truth is far too much fun. ~ IanM1986
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                                  #17

                                  Food that is not there can taste just as good as actual food. ~ IanM1986
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                                    #18

                                    The Lost Boys say grace before every meal. The word, not the prayer. ~ IanM1986
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                                      #19

                                      In baseball under pirate rules, stealing second base is punishable by death. ~ IanM1986
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                                        #20

                                        After learning to fly, your clothes will suddenly change for no apparent reason. ~ IanM1986
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                                          #21

                                          Peter Pan’s gots kids. ~ IanM1986
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                                            #22

                                            No artillery weapons? No problem. Just throw the fat kid at everybody. ~ IanM1986
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                                              #23

                                              To a ten year old, Captain Hook is huge. To an adult, not so much. ~ IanM1986
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                                                #24

                                                If you're fighting Peter Pan, the best course of action is to jump out a window. ~ jkpetrich
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                                                  #25

                                                  Some baseball plays are so spectacular that it causes the scene to immediately change. ~ IanM1986
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                                                    #26

                                                    Airlines can have words of irony in their titles. ~ IanM1986
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                                                      #27

                                                      Captain Hook is just as skilled at flying airplanes as he is commanding pirate ships. ~ IanM1986
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                                                        #28

                                                        Turbulence is the best time to serve airline meals. ~ IanM1986
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                                                          #29

                                                          You can’t break airplane windows. They are double-layered. ~ IanM1986
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                                                            #30

                                                            The British always show good manners. Unless it’s snowing. ~ IanM1986
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                                                              #31

                                                              Screaming is a traditional way to greet guests in England. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                #32

                                                                During England's winter season, you can still comfortably wear a t-shirt with the house windows open. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                  #33

                                                                  Paper smells nice. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                    #34

                                                                    Before kidnapping children, pirates use green smoke to distract the adults. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                      #35

                                                                      If your elderly guest of honor looks visibly ill, don’t call for paramedics. Just applaud. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                        #36

                                                                        When there is a crisis, the English always make a cup of tea. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                          #37

                                                                          There are no attractive women in Neverland. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                            #38

                                                                            Ship Captains refuse to climb down stairs unless there is a red carpet. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                              #39

                                                                              A pirate will kill one of their own if you try to bribe him. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                                #40

                                                                                Everyone hates lawyers. Even children who don’t know what they are. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                                  #41

                                                                                  Neverland is full of slimy things. Touch anything and it will probably leave a mark. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                                    #42

                                                                                    Throwing a basketball at someone’s head is a good way to get him to play a game. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                                      #43

                                                                                      Smee eats all of Hook’s meals for him. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                                        #44

                                                                                        Spelling and grammar is not taught anywhere in Neverland. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                                          #45

                                                                                          Rufio never passed a fifth-grade reading level. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                                            #46

                                                                                            Lawyers will always prevail in insult contests. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                                              #47

                                                                                              The war cry of the Lost Boys sounds like one of Batman’s gadgets. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                                              #48

                                                                                              Neverland food is comprised mostly of play-doh. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                                                #49

                                                                                                Destroying his watch is a great way to show your Dad that you are frustrated with him. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                                                  #50

                                                                                                  Captain Hook needs a mother very very badly. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                                                    #51

                                                                                                    A pirate is powerless without his wig. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                                                      #52

                                                                                                      To live would be an awfully big adventure. ~ IanM1986
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                                                                                                        #53

                                                                                                        Round overweight kids make great bowling ball weapons. ~ agentdc7
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                                                                                                          #54

                                                                                                          Glenn Close ended up in the Boo Box. ~ AdeptusAce
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                                                                                                            #55

                                                                                                            Granny Wendy is sort of the really real Wendy from the play. ~ IanM1986
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