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The Expendables

Last Updated
08/12/10
Started By
ryan corderman
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#1

Alternate Title: MANGASM THE MOVIE! ~ ryan corderman
Rating: 6 (+6/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (3)

  • oh and i also forgot, the ghostbusters as well!!!!!! ~ mannerino
  • but cortex, you forgot batman, the men in black, obama, pee wee herman, father time, wall e, predator, master chief, the collector, jigsaw, uwe boll ( as the villian!lol) john mcclane ( both him AND mr. church!), the pillsbury dough boy, the stay puff marshmallow man, scott pilgrim, macgruber, ethan hunt, walt kowalski, mr. and mrs. smith, jason bourne, harry potter, and JESUS! and it would make an amazing 5 hour epic!!!! ~ mannerino
  • the second one should be interesting since they left out; Steven Segal, Harrison Ford, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Clint Eastwood, Jackie Chan, Mel Gibson, Chuck Norris, Nicholas Cage, Vin Diesel, Tom Cruise, Keanu Reeves, Tommy Jaa....... and a lot more wrestlers: Triple H, Hulk Hogan, Goldberg, John Cena................. And maybe; George Clooney, Charlie Sheen, Pierce Brosnan, Hugh Jackman, Shaq, Mark Walberg, Danny Glover and Wesley Snipes when he gets out of jail:( I wishes if it were possible; Jean-Claude van Damme, Sean Connery, Bruce Lee, Charles Bronson,:(:(never gonna happen though....:) A BLOODY GOOD TIME:P ~ cortex

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#2

You can shoot somebody in half. ~ ryan corderman
Rating: 6 (+6/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (1)

  • Even if it's lower than intended. ~ AshBlaze

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#3

Jet Li would have won. ~ Bow2yurmaster
Rating: 4 (+4/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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    #4

    Stone Cold Steve Austin ain't so cold now! ~ avalanche719
    Rating: 4 (+4/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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      #5

      Apparently, a million dollars isn't enough to send Jet Li's kid to a good school. ~ avalanche719
      Rating: 4 (+4/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (1)

      • Silver platters in the caffeteria aren't good enough. His kids deserve GOLD, damnit! ~ kvn8907

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      #6

      It's not easy being Sylvester Stallone's friend. ~ ryan corderman
      Rating: 3 (+3/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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        #7

        The best bridge to use in order to cross a fire is a wooden one. ~ E J Macleod
        Rating: 3 (+3/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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          #8

          Don't let the boyfriend find out about you messing around with his girl. He will probably kick your ass and may deflate your balls. ~ Daryl
          Rating: 3 (+3/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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            #9

            Use caution when dropping someone from your mercenary team, they may go to work for the bad guys. ~ avalanche719
            Rating: 3 (+3/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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              #10

              If you're cheating on someone, make sure to tell the other guy to stay in another room. ~ avalanche719
              Rating: 3 (+3/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                #11

                Never try to have some fun with a prisoner, it'll always end up badly for you. ~ avalanche719
                Rating: 3 (+3/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (1)

                • Yeah, same exact thing happened in Rambo 4. And guess who saved the day for that one. ~ agentdc7

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                #12

                Turn your phone on silent before going into a hostage situation. ~ avalanche719
                Rating: 3 (+3/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                  #13

                  Pirate late charges are worse than most banks. ~ avalanche719
                  Rating: 3 (+3/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                    #14

                    If you're painting a guitar for a girl and she breaks up with you, finish the job then smash the $hit out of the guitar. ~ avalanche719
                    Rating: 3 (+3/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                      #15

                      The next time you visit your ex that was cheating on you, she'll have bruises. Always. ~ avalanche719
                      Rating: 3 (+3/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                        #16

                        Arnold Schwarzenegger steals Sylvester Stallone's weight. ~ ryan corderman
                        Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                          #17

                          Nothing comes between a black man and his AA12. ~ E J Macleod
                          Rating: 2 (+3/-1) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                            #18

                            If you get shot about two inches above your heart, it's ok, you still may live. ~ Daryl
                            Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                              #19

                              When fighting Jet Li, engage him in the open. That way you won't bash your head on low clearance. ~ avalanche719
                              Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                #20

                                If you really want to prove your soldiers' loyalty, make them paint their faces. ~ avalanche719
                                Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                  #21

                                  This movie should demonstate the standard operating procedure on how we should be dealing with pirates. ~ avalanche719
                                  Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                    #22

                                    The best way to start a fight with an Asian is to say "Bring it happy feet." ~ avalanche719
                                    Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                      #23

                                      Normal soldiers are easy to kill. Big Badass enemies are not. Somehow their bodies allow them to take more damage before dying. ~ SainaTsukino
                                      Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                        #24

                                        Bruce Willis curses the most out of anyone else. ~ Dominic
                                        Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                          #25

                                          Warpaint looks silly to corrupt business men. ~ Dominic
                                          Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                            #26

                                            The big bald man can hit women. ~ Dominic
                                            Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                              #27

                                              Jet Li has a difficult life. ~ Dominic
                                              Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                                #28

                                                Your contact in a foreign country is always both single and incredibly hot. ~ Adam
                                                Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                                  #29

                                                  Watching martial artists fight is way cooler than watching an aging actor fight a pro wrestler. ~ MusicManD
                                                  Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                                    #30

                                                    It takes a lot of action heroes to make Jet Li look like a wimp. ~ MusicManD
                                                    Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                                      #31

                                                      Next time you find out that Arnold Schwarzenegger is in a bad mood, it may be because he wants to be president. ~ Daryl
                                                      Rating: 1 (+3/-2) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (2)

                                                      • ^lmao ~ Bow2yurmaster
                                                      • Sorry i meant to say, next time he is in a bad mood, not movie. ~ Daryl

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                                                      #32

                                                      Be careful about the girls that you have only known for about 10-15 minutes. You might find yourself killing an entire army just to save her life. ~ Daryl
                                                      Rating: 1 (+2/-1) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                                        #33

                                                        It is not easy being small, according to Jet Li. ~ Dominic
                                                        Rating: 1 (+2/-1) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                                          #34

                                                          The main bad guy is always the last one to die. ~ agentdc7
                                                          Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                                            #35

                                                            When you're surrounded by soldiers holding rifles, just start swinging away because they won't fire at you. The rifles are just for decoration anyway. ~ agentdc7
                                                            Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                                              #36

                                                              Soldiers will always try to rape a female prisoner around the time Stallone is right behind them. ~ agentdc7
                                                              Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                                                #37

                                                                Despite the movie posters saying all the action heroes are in the film, the attention is mainly focused on Statham and Stallone. Arnie and Bruce appear in one scene. ~ Andershp
                                                                Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                                                  #38

                                                                  Everything on the island explodes. Just so you know. ~ MusicManD
                                                                  Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                                                    #39

                                                                    If someone is holding a hostage and says, "Put your guns down," don't do it. If you do, they'll just shoot you. Instead, shoot like crazy from the hip for accuracy. ~ MusicManD
                                                                    Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                                                      #40

                                                                      Stone Cold beats women in real life, and in his movies ~ ShadowLion137
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                                                                        #41

                                                                        Doing Old Spice commercials counts as being an Action Star. ~ ShadowLion137
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                                                                          #42

                                                                          Latin Rebel Leaders like to draw little cute pictures when they are not trying to spark revolutions. ~ ShadowLion137
                                                                          Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                                                            #43

                                                                            Jason Statham can throw lives better then Mickey Rourke ~ ShadowLion137
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                                                                              #44

                                                                              Even though Randy has told them about Cauliflower Ear many times, he would like to tell them once more, since this time, the cameras are here. ~ ShadowLion137
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                                                                                #45

                                                                                Chuck Norris was not in this movie, simply because he is not Expendable. ~ ShadowLion137
                                                                                Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


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                                                                                  #46

                                                                                  Jet Li and Dolph Lundgren don't get along. ~ ryan corderman
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                                                                                    #47

                                                                                    Sly can get his ass kicked!?!?!? ~ ryan corderman
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                                                                                      #48

                                                                                      Jason Statham wants a family. ~ ryan corderman
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                                                                                        #49

                                                                                        The only thing faster then Sly and Statham...LIGHT! ~ ryan corderman
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                                                                                          #50

                                                                                          Bullets do actually go faster than blades. ~ Daryl
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                                                                                            #51

                                                                                            Throw a dart 15 feet away from the board and you probably won't do so well. Stand about 50 feet back and you will hit a bulls-eye. ~ Daryl
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                                                                                              #52

                                                                                              The best cover is always as a wildlife conservatory team. ~ avalanche719
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                                                                                                #53

                                                                                                Never make any remarks or anything ressembling a remark about Randy Couture's ear. ~ avalanche719
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                                                                                                  #54

                                                                                                  A thousand years is too soon. ~ avalanche719
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                                                                                                    #55

                                                                                                    Whenever a delivery truck blocks your intersection, duck. ~ avalanche719
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                                                                                                      #56

                                                                                                      If a corrupt military rules the island, don't block the road. ~ avalanche719
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                                                                                                        #57

                                                                                                        Short people don't have it easy, well except when it comes to getting into tight spaces. ~ avalanche719
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                                                                                                          #58

                                                                                                          Lee Christmas is kind of unappreciative when it comes to saving his life. ~ avalanche719
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                                                                                                            #59

                                                                                                            Only a few soldiers from an island army will actually put up a decent fight. ~ avalanche719
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                                                                                                              #60

                                                                                                              Barney Ross' knives are super sharp and can cut through bone with ease. ~ avalanche719
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                                                                                                                #61

                                                                                                                When trying to escape and you end up in a standoff, maybe you should shoot your pursuer in the head instead of in the chest. He's probably wearing a vest. ~ avalanche719
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                                                                                                                  #62

                                                                                                                  The CIA can never be trusted. ~ avalanche719
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                                                                                                                    #63

                                                                                                                    Of all the bullets fired by the army, only one hit a target. ~ avalanche719
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                                                                                                                    • It happened to John Matrix in Commando too. And in Rambo 4. ~ agentdc7

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                                                                                                                    #64

                                                                                                                    Damn, I was hoping for a rematch of Rocky IV. ~ avalanche719
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                                                                                                                      #65

                                                                                                                      Never believe it when your friends say they have your back. ~ avalanche719
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                                                                                                                        #66

                                                                                                                        Demonstrating your ability to kick ass is all you have to do to get your girlfriend off your back about your career. ~ avalanche719
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                                                                                                                          #67

                                                                                                                          Jet Li is not very accurate when in a moving vehicle. ~ avalanche719
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                                                                                                                            #68

                                                                                                                            The big black guy has a loud gun. ~ Dominic
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                                                                                                                              #69

                                                                                                                              You do not kill familia. ~ Dominic
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                                                                                                                                #70

                                                                                                                                Stallone should read more, according to Schwarzenegger. ~ Dominic
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                                                                                                                                  #71

                                                                                                                                  Stallone- he wasn't really into her. ~ Riababy
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                                                                                                                                    #72

                                                                                                                                    Dolph Lundgren really needs professional help. ~ Riababy
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                                                                                                                                      #73

                                                                                                                                      A case of the blues can make you terrible at knife-throwing. ~ kvn8907
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                                                                                                                                        #74

                                                                                                                                        The real way to tell if someone is lying is just to shoot them dead, cause its the only way to look in their insides. ~ Daryl
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                                                                                                                                          #75

                                                                                                                                          Mickey Rourke is not a 1 woman man. ~ Daryl
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                                                                                                                                            #76

                                                                                                                                            Waterboarding really is torture. ~ Adam
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                                                                                                                                              #77

                                                                                                                                              Soldiers who lose their soul end up as tattoo artists. ~ Adam
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                                                                                                                                                #78

                                                                                                                                                Jet Li's kicks will only hurt if he wears steel-tipped shoes. ~ Adam
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                                                                                                                                                  #79

                                                                                                                                                  MMA > WWE ~ Adam
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                                                                                                                                                  #80

                                                                                                                                                  Jason Statham is worth the wait. ~ ryan corderman
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                                                                                                                                                    #81

                                                                                                                                                    Cauliflower ear is no laughing matter. ~ ryan corderman
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                                                                                                                                                      #82

                                                                                                                                                      If you run past an empty truck, throw a grenade into it because it's awesome to watch it blow up. ~ agentdc7
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                                                                                                                                                        #83

                                                                                                                                                        When you blow up the dock, the main bad guys will always be the only ones to escape in time. ~ agentdc7
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                                                                                                                                                          #84

                                                                                                                                                          When you ignite a fuel soaked dock, all the cars will instantly explode. ~ agentdc7
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                                                                                                                                                            #85

                                                                                                                                                            When bad guys fire at you in your truck, and you duck, they will not aim lower or at your exposed forearm. ~ agentdc7
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                                                                                                                                                              #86

                                                                                                                                                              Friends will die with you, just don't ask them to do it twice. ~ agentdc7
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                                                                                                                                                                #87

                                                                                                                                                                The enemy will always be terrified of noise. They hear a really loud shotgun and they'll stop fighting and run away. ~ agentdc7
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                                                                                                                                                                  #88

                                                                                                                                                                  A former wrestler will eventually do a clothesline. ~ agentdc7
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                                                                                                                                                                    #89

                                                                                                                                                                    EVERYTHING must blow up. ~ agentdc7
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                                                                                                                                                                      #90

                                                                                                                                                                      When you blow someone's upper half apart, their legs will still be standing. ~ agentdc7
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                                                                                                                                                                        #91

                                                                                                                                                                        "Are you crazy!? You could have killed me!" means "Thank you." ~ agentdc7
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                                                                                                                                                                          #92

                                                                                                                                                                          You can see whole laser beams without any fog. ~ agentdc7
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                                                                                                                                                                            #93

                                                                                                                                                                            Bad guys always use AK-47s. ~ agentdc7
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                                                                                                                                                                              #94

                                                                                                                                                                              CG blood will fly off your body, but it won't get on your body. ~ agentdc7
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                                                                                                                                                                                #95

                                                                                                                                                                                When you drop a bag of $3 million, it will sound like an explosion. ~ agentdc7
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                                                                                                                                                                                  #96

                                                                                                                                                                                  All 50 of those women must have left Mickey Rourke when they found out about the plastic surgery. ~ agentdc7
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                                                                                                                                                                                    #97

                                                                                                                                                                                    Showing Expendables putting bombs on pillars for approx. 1 minute can be very cool. ~ k1ngv1rus
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                                                                                                                                                                                      #98

                                                                                                                                                                                      Arnold Schwarzenegger is a lot smarter than you. ~ Adam
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                                                                                                                                                                                        #99

                                                                                                                                                                                        You can kill someone by shooting them in the knees. ~ agentdc7
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                                                                                                                                                                                          #100

                                                                                                                                                                                          A cloud of gasoline that ignites will not trail back to the plane, which is still releasing gasoline. ~ agentdc7
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