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A teenager with Internet access would rather visit National Geographic type websites to get himself off than actual porn websites. ~ Adam
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With no power comes no responsibility. ~ avalanche719
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Humanity cheers suicide jumpers so long as they're dressed in bright colors. ~ Adam
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Don't be put off if your first attempt at being a super hero ends with you getting stabbed and hit by a car. ~ TankerCaptain
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Bulletproof vests come in child sizes! ~ TiffYG2133
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If you get mugged, you're gay. ~ Adam
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Never mess with a girl who just got ninja weapons for her 12th birthday. ~ Chi Chi
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When eliminating cameras in a warehouse make sure to destroy all teddy bears too. ~ avalanche719
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Some Nicholas Cage movies don't suck. ~ Reza
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Kids these days curse. A lot. ~ Adam
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You have to hold your pistol straight out in front of you to reload when you're wearing night vision goggles. ~ avalanche719
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Some crooks vandalize and mug the same parking lot everyday. ~ avalanche719
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Always hide your mustache with a bigger mustache. ~ PapaMurv
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If you get mugged in the same parking lot by the same guys every time, you should make a daily habit of walking through that parking lot. ~ Reza
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The most effective way to disguise your voice is to talk like a cross between Adam West and William Shatner. ~ KungFuMasterLarry
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As Hollywood has shown us, all woman desperately want a gay friend, in front of who they will routinely get naked. ~ HT
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Advertising your super alter ego on My Space is not a good idea. ~ TankerCaptain
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If you want to get the girl of your dreams pretend to be gay then one night crawl through her window as your super alter ego and tell her you're a super hero and not gay, she'll freak out at first but then she'll screw your brains out FTW. ~ TankerCaptain
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Timber merchants have giant 15Ft Microwaves in their warehouses. ~ TankerCaptain
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If you tell the boss that some guy dressed like Batman nicked all the drugs he won't believe you. ~ TankerCaptain
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TV networks are quite happy to broadcast the start of online executions... ~ TankerCaptain
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The head villain is always better at hand-to-hand combat than any of his minions. ~ Adam
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Head drug-dealer mobsters don't know the difference between the sound of a bazooka and mini guns. ~ avalanche719
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Fantasize about English teacher or National Geographic tribal nudity? Tough choice. ~ avalanche719
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Straight guys pretending to be gay don't get boners when rubbing lotion on topless girls. ~ Reza
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Always beta test your idea first. ~ TankerCaptain
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Its OK to run around in a modified wetsuit, kitchen gloves and a pair of timberlands as long as the public like you. ~ TankerCaptain
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If you fire a bazooka from 30th floor at a bad guy it will go through the window carry him about 30 feet and then explode leaving you completely unharmed. ~ philipj
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Suspect awesome people who humbly request to be your sidekick. ~ Wallpaperotaku
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Teddy bears are worth saving. ~ Wallpaperotaku
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Todd is willing to save himself until an 11 year old turns 18. ~ avalanche719
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Hot girls have to hang out out at comic book stores when their one friend is busy. ~ avalanche719
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You should test your microwaves communication capabilities before you try using it for interrogation. ~ avalanche719
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Always say a cool catchphrase before using a bazooka. ~ K2
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Teddy cams are completely fireproof. ~ Reza
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Paramedics are sworn to protect your identity when they've saved you after your first failed attempt at being a superhero. ~ zonker
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Always be very suspicious of little girls who say they lost their parents. ~ philipj
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Superheroes watch Lost. ~ HermanoBluth
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When deciding to become a super hero, instead of posing in front of a mirror with dinosaur stickers on it, you may want to learn to fight. ~ Invaderben
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YouTube will make you famous! ~ TiffYG2133
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Getting punched several times with brass knuckles in the face will not leave a mark and will almost completely heal in a few hours. ~ mojarras
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If you're the cops and you're watching a live feed of criminals torturing vigilantes, do not attempt to find them. Continue to watch. ~ GeorgeMichaelBluth
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When you have another go at being a super hero make sure plenty of people are watching. ~ TankerCaptain
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The cops can trace your taser ammo back to you. ~ TankerCaptain
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Super villains enjoy pigging out on snacks in the theatre. ~ Adam
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Knife beats club, car beats knife. ~ Adam
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Always kill the super villain's son. ~ Adam
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In America, stick is pronounced baseball bat! ~ avalanche719
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Tracking a superhero´s IP address to discover his identity is an idea that only another superhero can have ~ alex1502
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Cops have no real interest in stopping vigilante justice. ~ Reza
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First thing paramedics do after you get stabbed and hit by a car is to strip you completely naked, put you on a strecher and remove your superhero mask. Only after doing these vital procedures can they secure your neck for possible injuries. ~ philipj
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If you sneak into your friend's bedroom at night, dressed in a spandex scuba diving outfit, and reveal you are actually NOT gay - she will at first freak out then forgive you and ask you to spend the night. No, not like those sleepovers... ~ HT
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never trust 11-year old school girls. never! ~ kaizar
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You're never too young to get spin-kicked in the face. ~ KungFuMasterLarry
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First, the little girl kills everyone, and then when just 3 guys are left, you go in with your jet pack and kill them... it's easier ~ Rokubi
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After getting stabbed it is perfectly acceptable for doctors to lace your entire skeleton with metal making you virtually indestructible. ~ Sandman47
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After disarming a drug boss with a mini grappling hook, don't attempt to use that gun against him. Instead, hand-to-hand combat is a better option. ~ GeorgeMichaelBluth
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It is always possible that the protagonist will appear with a nuclear launcher right before the main villain kills one of the superheroes. ~ Movie Genius
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Red Mist should have realised his plan was kind of stupid anyway seeing as after befriending Kick Ass, he had to bring him along to the ambush and then complain afterwards. ~ Movie Genius
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A movie can get very confused on whether it wants to be a dark comedy, a realistic take on superheros, or a satire of over-the-top Quentin Tarantino action films. This movie is good and everything, but it feels like it has ADD at points. ~ Max
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Jet-packs and machine guns go good with Elvis . ~ Max
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The only way to escape being friendzoned is being gayzoned. ~ Nokitron
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Hit girl has a great bullet proof vest, but its the super strong pink jacket that leaves no bullet holes. ~ scannerhead
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Nobody messes with geeks so long as they have a rich friend. ~ Adam
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Super heroes and serial killers have a lot in common. ~ Adam
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Superheroes prefer to kill bad guys than arrest them. ~ BJ 40
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After witnessing an alleyway beating, run to the left or right instead of straight back. ~ avalanche719
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When deciding to become a super hero, instead of posing in front of a mirror with dinosaur stickers on it, you may want to learn to fight. ~ Invaderben
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Dave must buy kleenex in bulk because he sure goes through a lot of it. ~ avalanche719
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Jetpacks can make awesome things even better or completely ruin it. ~ HermanoBluth
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It's totally normal and not pedofileish to save yourself for an 11 year old girl. ~ HermanoBluth
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