Share The Love:
If you find a dangerous-looking, naked man in your barn, it's acceptable to invite him to share dinner with you and your wife, so long as he had a "rough night." ~ Adam
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It's not a water immersed medical procedure to inject Wolverine with adamantium into his skeleton, it's an excuse to see Hugh Jackman naked! ~ antonia dinozo
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If someone enslaves your sister for countless years and then shoots your lover in the head twice with adamantium bullets, the most adequate punishment to enact is to force him to take a long walk. ~ Adam
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The most profitable, hidden-away job for a man who can control electricity with his mind is to con people out of $1 at a time at a carnival. Then when they lose, inevitably breaking a $1 lightbulb of yours, you tell them it's not a trick. ~ Adam
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You know that naked man you found in your barn? Give him some of your most prized possessions. He undoubtedly deserves them. ~ Wayward Warrior
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Adamantium bullets fired into random spots in a brain can eliminate memories without causing any other mental impairments. ~ Adam
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Death is an illusion created by your girlfriend and your brother. ~ Wayward Warrior
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Never call a grossly overweight man "bub." ~ Adam
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Follow the voices in your head. ~ Wayward Warrior
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A trail of gas will always form in a neat, straight line leading to the object (or fallen helicopter) you wish to explode. ~ Adam
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Lumberjacks make $18,500 a year. ~ Adam
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If you're fighting someone who's almost indestructible, your best plan of attack is to keep teleporting around him at close range and smacking him rather than keeping distance with projectiles. ~ Adam
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Why say something smart like "I have an eye condition that requires me to wear red glasses" when you can just shut up and get yourself into trouble? ~ DyanaAngelPie
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If you are an immortal born in Canada, you and your equally immortal brother will naturally choose to spend your immortal lives fighting in every American war. ~ erinno
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The best place to fight is on the rim of a nuclear reactor. Well, besides INSIDE the reactor of course. ~ umm
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Leave it to the military to produce Mutants of Mass Destruction. ~ TiffYG2133
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No one will notice your boss' murder until your entire base implodes, creating a crater of death and destruction. Then it is the first thing that's discovered. ~ Adam
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Your brother won't make any attempt to contact or antagonize you while he's working for Magneto. ~ NateSean
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In the bathroom, CG claws were preferred over prop ones. ~ agentdc7
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When you have the ability to mind control a sadistic general into killing himself, it is considered more humane to let him live, take a long walk, and eventually continue to kidnap and control mutants for experimentation. ~ agentdc7
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The flashbacks in X2 were total B.S.... Alkali Lake was in a tropical setting rather than the ice-blanketed one we were previoulsy told it was, and Logan lost his memory not through the procedure, but because of memory bullets. ~ KungFuMasterLarry
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Teachers and deans will punish kids who are obviously vision impaired by forcing them to write Spanish conjugations on a chalk board 100 times each. Not only will they do this, they will leave them unsupervised so they can ditch detention or even worse blow up half of the school. ~ lilbo
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If someone doesn't like you, the best way to win their heart is to "dance with them in the ring." ~ Adam
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If you find a random, naked man in your barn, don't take him in. The result will most likely be your house exploding. ~ AnimeArchAngel
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The laws of physics always apply. Except when a plot point requires that they do not. ~ Petie
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When staying in a stranger's home remember that they will not overly mind if you destroy their bathroom sink. Or their barn, if they have one. ~ IdentityEntity
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You can hide full length swords in your forearms. ~ agentdc7
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For wearing sunglasses in class, you get detention, but the teacher will still let you wear them. ~ agentdc7
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Professor X saved 10+ mutants from experimentation, but only one was appreciative enough to join him in building his safe haven for mutants. ~ agentdc7
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All 20+ mutants will trust a random teenager with a sleep eye mask to lead them out an intricate collapsing nuclear plant. ~ lilbo
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If you have a character who is known as "The Merc with a mouth" you should sew his mouth shut. ~ ryan corderman
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A man with heightened senses of smell and hearing won't notice the faint pulse of his supposedly dead wife. ~ NateSean
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If you own a bar frequented by out-of-towners, make sure you have insurance. ~ Adam
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If you gain weight, so will your tattoo. ~ agentdc7
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Adamantium claws, though indestructable, can still generate sparks. ~ agentdc7
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Molding adamantium to rigid bumpy bone claws will create perfectly sleek and sharp blades. ~ agentdc7
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Firing a bullet at an adamantium skull will knock you out for 5 minutes. But when you're angry, it won't do anything. ~ agentdc7
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Some women don't mind sleeping in the same bed with a guy that has both frequent nightmares and sharp claws. ~ agentdc7
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When you blast a huge hole into the school, the severed load bearing columns and beams will not cause any type of collapse. ~ agentdc7
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If you can twirl a stick fast enough like a helicopter, you can soften your landing. ~ agentdc7
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I guess when Adamantium is grafted through your bones, your mutation will remember to heal with the Adamantium because Jean Grey didn't find any Adamantium holes (from memory erasing bullets) in Logan's skull upon examination. ~ agentdc7
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Sabretooth has the same fingernail-growing powers as Meg Griffin. ~ KungFuMasterLarry
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It's OK to kill your superiors if it's for the country's protection and wellfare. ~ Isis10
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If you're gonna kill someone, talk as much as possible even if the person who you're gonna kill is reaching for a weapon at the time. ~ leo11234
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When you're writing a movie, you can ignore all the history from previous movies and source material and just inject any characters you want, never mind the fact that they had been stablished to not have met until years later. It looks cool, so why use logic? ~ EF
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Mutants all carry the additional ability to jump really high. ~ agentdc7
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Weapon 11's name is really Baraka, not Deadpool. ~ agentdc7
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If you throw someone in front of a moving truck, the driver won't care. ~ agentdc7
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It is preferred to kill a small army and blow up a tank for an insignificant rock in a diamond facility rather than go up to the leader and ask for it. ~ agentdc7
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Elevator music is universal. ~ agentdc7
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The best way to kill a teleporter is to stick your hand out. He'll run into it eventually. ~ agentdc7
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Cyclop's optic blast will eventually forget to use heat. ~ agentdc7
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Humanoid weapons can be controlled via old DOS games. ~ agentdc7
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When Wolverine uses his claws to slash an "X" into a metal door, the 4 square pieces in the centre will float in mid air. ~ DyLeni09
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It's okay to antagonize the scrawny white kid. Especially when he can shoot uncontrollable lasers from his eyes. ~ Mir
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There is no suspense in a dead Logan after Adamantium injection. We know he's going live. ~ agentdc7
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Yes, Wolverine. You DO look like a guy that exaggerates. Technically, with Deadpool still alive, you didn't kill anyone on that island. ~ KungFuMasterLarry
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The whole adamantium-weight-gain thing doesn't come into affect until the second time you sit on the motorcycle (after verbally mentioning it). ~ Kikkomannrice
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Don't bother burying your dead wife. Just leave her body in the forests of Canada to go pursue revenge. ~ NateSean
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Many Canadians speak with a US Southern Drawl. ~ NateSean
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Sabertooth's shirt and trenchcoat have healing abilities too. ~ NateSean
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Zero was a less effective shot than an average Boston cop. ~ NateSean
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Tactile telepathy either works amazingly well, causing a man to transform into a zombie state, ready to shoot himself in the head, or doesn't work at all, causing the person to scoff at your "mind games." ~ Adam
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Apparently Saber Tooth can be both Wolverines brother, and father, at the same exact time. All thanks to Hollywood not doing their homework. ~ acid35
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Cyclops dressed like a new kid in high school. ~ NateSean
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Burning diamonds onto Weapon 11's eyes is supposed to be a homage to Deadpool's mask and was preferred over Wade actually wearing the mask... ugh. ~ agentdc7
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Cards prove to be better weapons than you would imagine. ~ jimbob
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In a movie called Wolverine, the most interesting scene is Deadpool blocking bullets with his swords. But the makers were afraid of that happening so they butchered the character in the end to hopefully leave a bad taste in our mouth and forget about how cool Deadpool could have been to try to focus it back on Wolverine. ~ agentdc7
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If you owe a man money, you can change who you are at the drop of a hat. But if you don't have any debt to him, it's okay, you can use your real name. ~ Mir
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When a scary animal like man chases you through a school, don't bother to use your optic blast as defense, just beg him to not hurt you instead. ~ agentdc7
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Getting stabbed by sharp and sleek adamantium claws apparently hurts a lot more than rough bone claws. ~ agentdc7
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Blindfolded Cyclops can still see where to aim. ~ agentdc7
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Indestructible claws means you don't need to apply any effort/force in slicing through solid chunks of materials. ~ agentdc7
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If you're getting paid large sums of money to do genetic experimentation on mutants, it's okay to use your own daughter. Just don't complain when you can't get the needle through her diamond skin. ~ Mir
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School Security guards will allow a creepy man with long talons in a black cape to enter a school. ~ lilbo
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After scientist finish artificially creating a super mutant, they will send a world renowned tattoo artist to tat him up to make him look cooler. ~ lilbo
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Mutants are patriots! ~ ryan corderman
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Ladies, if you're having trouble getting your man to trust you just start talking about your sister. ~ justin555666
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Gambit can shave in the middle of a fight. ~ NateSean
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Wolverine doesn't mind running naked outdoors, but when he's slicing people up in close quarters he likes to throw on a pair of shorts. ~ NateSean
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Wolverine's hair is immune from any kind of damage or mussing. ~ NateSean
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Canadian logging camps use New Zealand license plates on their vehicles. ~ NateSean
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Wolverines can howl. ~ NateSean
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Stock condition motorcycles are "choppers". ~ NateSean
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Water just leaves Wolverine's body and clothes as soon as possible. Probably because he doesn't appreciate clingers. ~ NateSean
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Military investigators trying to figure out what the hell went wrong at the test site won't try to stop the guy flying away in a plane. ~ NateSean
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They won't bother with the grizzled looking fellow running away on foot either. ~ NateSean
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Screwing with lightbulbs doesn't seem all that impressive a super power. ~ NateSean
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Silverfox's power only works until someone stops you and says, "Hey, can we ask you a few questions?" ~ NateSean
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Sabertooth never again had an opportunity to get adamantium armor. Ever. ~ NateSean
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Stryker must have been a pretty sweet talker to have avoided a murder charge all those years ago. ~ NateSean
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Scraping every surface with your claws allows people to know that you are a card carrying villain. ~ Evilgidgit
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Gambit is a lot better and handsome in the cartoons than in the movie ¬_¬ ~ Alaurien
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Take away Deadpool's mouth. Fans won't mind. ~ Max
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Optic blasts can easily destroy concrete and make indestructible metal red-hot, but they're useless against Sabertooth's clothing. ~ Pleiades Rising
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Even after you know a girl a large part of your life, marry her, and live with her a long time, you still fail to see that she is a mutant.... "Honey can you get some eggs?" "No"
(She places hand on him) "Please" ~ Totally R3allistic
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It's okay to screw over comic book continuity for your own profit. The comic book fans won't mind. Much. ~ Mir
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Stryker has played Little House on the Prairie with a school teacher. At least, I think that's what he was implying. ~ Kikkomannrice
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Hair dries up pretty fast after you get out of a tub full of water. ~ NateSean
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Madam Frost left the X-men to pursue a career in the Twilight films. ~ NateSean
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Continuity is as rare a mutant power as Jean Gray's. ~ NateSean
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Deadpool mistook Sabertooth for someone who gives a crap. ~ NateSean
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Cyclops was about 16 or 17 years old in 1979 and the original trilogy is supposed to take place in the "not too distant future." He would have been about 50 years old in the first movie. ~ Max
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You don't just decide to inject a mutant with adamantium before deciding to betray him. If you do, don't be surprised when he comes back for revenge wielding his extremely sharp adamantium claws to try and decapitate you. ~ Movie Genius
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People in the films must have noticed the two brothers fighting in more than enough wars and surviving, while also surviving their execution, are actually mutants; people cannot be that stupid. ~ Movie Genius
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Bones coated with Adamantium, being far heavier than normal, won't affect the ligaments holding the bones together and the tendons holding the muscles to the now-coated bones. ~ Pleiades Rising
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The intense heat from an optic beam won't transfer into your body and heat up the metal bones in your forearms and cook the skin, but will make your metal claws glow really rad! ~ Pleiades Rising
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"Bub" sounds way too close to "blob" to obese ears. ~ pikasneeze
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The missing CGI version was much better than the actual finished film. ~ pikasneeze
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Much of a lumberjack's salary is spent on cigars and new sheets. ~ pikasneeze
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Victor was a total pervert, molesting people's spines as they teleport onto his hands. ~ nee
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Stryker must have telekinesis because he is able to estimate where Wolverine's specific memories are. ~ lilbo
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Beast couldn't surivive the procedure Wolverine went though, even though Beast threw him around like a bitch beforehand. ~ jimbob
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You won’t feel violated or shocked when some gay-looking bald man with loads of makeup penetrates your thoughts . ~ lilbo
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