The absolute best place to send evidence of a massive Republican conspiracy is to Fox News. ~ Adam
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If someone with a gun is pursuing you, that slow-acting poison in your body is the last thing you should worry about. ~ Adam
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Your strange-looking, bug-eyed friend will certainly not betray you. ~ Adam
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You can assess the villainy of a CEO by the number of photographs he has with Republican politicians. ~ Adam
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The biggest secret a daughter can keep from you is NOT that she's pregnant. ~ Adam
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Ginger ale can single-handedly solve all physiological and psychological ailments. ~ Adam
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If you're about to blast someone with a shotgun and want to yell out their name right before, always yell out their last name so as to cause maximum ambiguity as to which family member you were targeting. ~ Adam
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The best place to hide your police gear is underneath a cake cover. ~ Adam
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If you're staking outside Mel Gibson's house and need to go to the bathroom, go inside, don't pee in his bushes. ~ Adam
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Avoid the black sand when building sand castles on the beach. ~ Adam
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Hallucinations of your lost one occur within hours of a traumatic event. ~ Adam
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If you have nothing to lose and a gun pointed at the evil CEO in the middle of the film, don't kill him then, wait until the very end of the movie. ~ Adam
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Don't hire a terminally ill hitman who has much to repent for. ~ Adam
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It's police procedure to immediately shoot people dead who are lowering their gun to you in an act of surrender. ~ Adam
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If you see a car barreling toward you at 100 mph, don't leave your own car at the exact moment it intersects. ~ Adam
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Hitmen are better at PR than political strategists. ~ Adam
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Always hire the British hitman to handle sensitive American political issues. ~ Adam
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The guy who gives his girlfriend a gun only has a knife to protect himself with. ~ Adam
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Mel Gibson won't judge you for wanting to have sex with his daughter. ~ Adam
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When a hitman has a gun pointed at you and he asks if you have kids, always say yes! ~ Djlesal
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If Mel Gibson says "i'm not gonna punch you anymore" it doesn't mean that he won't kick you. ~ philipj
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You can beat the crap out of your dead doughter's boyfriend and then tell him that you won't hurt him and he'll believe you. ~ philipj
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Always look in a rear view mirror before you get out of a car. ~ philipj
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Never take off your glasses when a stranger ask you to do so. ~ philipj
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Regardless of the behavior an actor demonstrates outside of his work, people will still watch his movies. ~ Movie Chic
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