The going rate for a trailer park dog is a subway card that has four stickers on it. ~ Adam
Rating: 3 (+3/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
If you're 48, have a kid, no money, and stretch marks, the best you can hope for is Zack Galifianakis. ~ Adam
Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (1)
Lawyers build second floors to look down on the world. ~ Adam
Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Lawyers speak only in legal jargon. ~ Adam
Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Having the same last name as a badass gangster is more attractive to women than your real last name. ~ Adam
Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (1)
The girl who lets you straddle her and put lotion all over her body certainly has a boyfriend. ~ Adam
Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
If you have an incredibly private journal, always leave it unattended next to the girl whose name fills many of its pages. ~ Adam
Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
The gasoline knows you did it. ~ Adam
Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
If you're walking around a school campus where everyone's only allowed to speak French, don't enlist your French-speaking friend to ask questions on your behalf. ~ Adam
Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Robert Frost went by the nickname Bobby. ~ Adam
Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
There are two ways to tickle a belly button. ~ Adam
Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Fixing your penis makes sense even if you don't have a chance with the girl who you're in love with. ~ Adam
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
The best people to rip off are three strapping young Navy sailors. ~ Adam
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Water droplets fall slower when you're in love. ~ Adam
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Just because you're an expert in film doesn't mean you know who directed your favorite movie. ~ Adam
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Always name your imaginary future husbands. ~ Adam
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
If you're going to sleep on the floor next to your friend, always take off your shirt. ~ Adam
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Police officer lovers can always think of "some way" you can repay you. ~ Adam
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Bernice Lynch is a very pretty name. ~ Adam
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
If you take your shirt off once for solidarity, you'll never need to put it back on again. ~ Adam
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Police who barge into your house looking for an important suspect will take the time to call you out on your illegal satellite hookup. ~ Adam
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
A car that hurtles off a cliff into a shallow river will land safely with minimal damage. ~ Adam
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Michael Cera has an easily identifiable and unique physical description. ~ Adam
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Always know the expected punishment before taking drastic escape measures from the police. ~ Adam
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Lawyers live in trailer parks. ~ adubz
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
A person can work for a wood magazine even if they do not know a thing about it. ~ kittykat
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Giving a strict and religious parents mushrooms is the only way to see your girl again. ~ kittykat
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Help is granted when you call a person that likes illegal immigrants. ~ kittykat
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Apparently Justin Long is the only man capable of pulling a beautiful woman away from Steve Buscemi ~ EssMess
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Fred Willard can't handle 'shrooms. ~ EssMess
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Portia Doubleday is a crown. ~ EssMess
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Be sure to remove all remnants of banana from your transmission before selling your car to a sailor. ~ EssMess
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Who needs porn when you have good 'shrooms? ~ EssMess
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Creating an alternative and foreign persona that encourages you to be bad is the best way to win over any girl. ~ HermanoBluth
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
You won't get Portia Doubleday by listening to records. ~ jawson44
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (1)
When you rat out your sister and her boyfriend, she won't stop playing Ashley Simpson. ~ jawson44
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
After you loose your virginity, you're going to jail. ~ kaizar
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
A moustache is irresistible to women. ~ luckylittlerhino
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
DVD cases make excellent tampons. ~ Adam
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Use a scornful school girl as a partner in crime. ~ kittykat
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Going crazy makes you cooler ~ EssMess
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Be sure to get out all your revolting while still a juvenile. ~ EssMess
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
There are two sides to Michael Cera. ~ HermanoBluth
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
We get it Michael Cera. You are unable to act as anybody else but yourself. ~ daveyboy189
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Saying dirty words before you bone your girlfriend in an all-girl-dormitory, of which the landlady does not know of your unconsented sleepover, is not a good idea... especially if those words are the idea of your alter ego... ~ kaizar
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Trent and his adorable sweater will not move without a fight. ~ ryan corderman
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
You should depend on child support to support your child. ~ ryan corderman
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Francois isn't leaving until you stick your dick in this filthy tomato. ~ ryan corderman
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
When you need to make up a girlfriend always describe her in very specific and unrealistic ways "Her name is Martha Singwal, she's 16... she's got toasted almond hair, so... she's only just recently returned from Nice where she's been conducting sociological research on the assimilation problems of Italian immigrants... workers... down there. She's also a professional model, specializes in lingerie. She likes me quite a bit, she tells me that she likes my hair... " trust me it only makes you sound more desirable! ~ ryan corderman
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)
Please note that we manually review and edit every incoming submission. Make sure to properly capitalize and punctuate your entry (also leave a period/question mark/exclamation point at the end, don't leave it empty).



















We've lovingly mined 851 movies for 23006 learnings. New Goal: 25,000 learnings