Register or Login

The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

Last Updated
12/30/09
Started By
matthijstieleman
Entries
59
Quick Jump
Share Your Own

Share The Love:

Tweet submit to reddit

the top 100

#1

It's smart to only ask the Army of the Dead to help you just once, instead of asking them to kill all Mordor as well ~ matthijstieleman
Rating: 9 (+9/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


    Please register an account to add comments.

    #2

    If you're on top a really tall tower, you can still speak with someone all the way down ~ matthijstieleman
    Rating: 8 (+8/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


      Please register an account to add comments.

      #3

      Orcs believe that there's just the three of you, when there are a couple of boats coming to shore and those three persons come out of 1 ship ~ matthijstieleman
      Rating: 7 (+7/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


        Please register an account to add comments.

        #4

        Don't bother helping your friend right away when he's rolling around the floor in anguish; just call his name with more enthusiasm. ~ Pleiades Rising
        Rating: 6 (+6/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


          Please register an account to add comments.

          #5

          If you save the Shire along with everything else, the neighborhood grouch will still give you the evil eye. ~ Pleiades Rising
          Rating: 6 (+6/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


            Please register an account to add comments.

            #6

            If you're convinced that no man can kill you, be aware of women because for some reason it's different when they stab you with their sword. ~ matthijstieleman
            Rating: 6 (+6/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


              Please register an account to add comments.

              #7

              Never smoke pipe near Treebeard or he'll be pissed that you smoked his grandchildren ~ matthijstieleman
              Rating: 5 (+6/-1) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (1)

              • Or, he might be impressed with the size of your cojones if you do. ~ Pleiades Rising

              Please register an account to add comments.

              #8

              If you kill an olifaunt, it's not a multi-kill but it still only counts as one ~ matthijstieleman
              Rating: 5 (+5/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                Please register an account to add comments.

                #9

                There is a minimum height to join the Rohan cavalry ~ matthijstieleman
                Rating: 5 (+5/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                  Please register an account to add comments.

                  #10

                  When you don't have a lot of water left, spill a lot of it on your lips and on the ground ~ matthijstieleman
                  Rating: 5 (+5/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                    Please register an account to add comments.

                    #11

                    Legolas is captain obvious. ~ midievallady
                    Rating: 5 (+5/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                      Please register an account to add comments.

                      #12

                      It's OK to become excited about apples and other fruits and vegetables laying in dirty water ~ matthijstieleman
                      Rating: 4 (+4/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (1)

                      • I'd imagine that if you hadn't had much food to eat lately, you wouldn't care. ~ Pizzaman

                      Please register an account to add comments.

                      #13

                      No matter how well you know that you're going to die, keep on riding your horse towards certain death because your father wishes it ~ matthijstieleman
                      Rating: 4 (+4/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                        Please register an account to add comments.

                        #14

                        Gandalf can make artificial sunlight ~ matthijstieleman
                        Rating: 4 (+4/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                          Please register an account to add comments.

                          #15

                          For some reason the people of Rohan decided to put the royal tents near a dangerous mountain where people get uncomfortable and all the while the regular army is comfortable down in the valley ~ matthijstieleman
                          Rating: 4 (+4/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                            Please register an account to add comments.

                            #16

                            When you go to Mordor, it's handy to be a hobbit because you're the exact size for Orc-clothing ~ matthijstieleman
                            Rating: 4 (+4/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                              Please register an account to add comments.

                              #17

                              Morale and spirit can be increased by commanding your army to flee for their lives. ~ Pleiades Rising
                              Rating: 4 (+4/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                Please register an account to add comments.

                                #18

                                Gandalf's staff apparently needs to be recharged like a battery, since that neat white-light trick was used only once. ~ Pleiades Rising
                                Rating: 4 (+4/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                  Please register an account to add comments.

                                  #19

                                  Talk of ethereal "silver glass" and "white shores" always hides the brutal fact that you might die from a sword in the gut. ~ Pleiades Rising
                                  Rating: 4 (+4/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                    Please register an account to add comments.

                                    #20

                                    There's something unnerving about seeing a cute little girl with big hairy feet. ~ Pleiades Rising
                                    Rating: 4 (+4/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                      Please register an account to add comments.

                                      #21

                                      Shelob's Lair supposedly is really big and easy to get lost in, Sam however finds Frodo's sword and little light back in no-time. ~ matthijstieleman
                                      Rating: 4 (+4/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                        Please register an account to add comments.

                                        #22

                                        I definitely want Sam in my corner, he will stay with you until the end...literally. ~ Sassy
                                        Rating: 4 (+4/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                          Please register an account to add comments.

                                          #23

                                          Mythril vest protects against a cave troll spear stab in the chest (1 movie), it doesn't however protect you from a spider stinger. ~ Andershp
                                          Rating: 4 (+4/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                            Please register an account to add comments.

                                            #24

                                            Even though the good forces are in vast minority, neither the dwarfs nor the Ents decide to help out (again) ~ matthijstieleman
                                            Rating: 3 (+3/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                              Please register an account to add comments.

                                              #25

                                              There's no harm in touching the magic bowling ball. ~ Pleiades Rising
                                              Rating: 3 (+3/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                Please register an account to add comments.

                                                #26

                                                Don't bother using magic to light a fire; let the clumsy Hobbit do the dangerous work. ~ Pleiades Rising
                                                Rating: 3 (+3/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                  Please register an account to add comments.

                                                  #27

                                                  When you're on top of an erupting volcano, it makes sense to talk about girls and strawberries. ~ matthijstieleman
                                                  Rating: 3 (+3/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (1)

                                                  • Have you ever been dehydrated? Your mind thinks of really weird things. ~ Pizzaman

                                                  Please register an account to add comments.

                                                  #28

                                                  When you're a king with your army at the very gates of hell ready to fight for the very fate of your world against the most evil and wicked of enemies who have raped and shattered the land like no other... people online will still cry foul if you kill their messenger. ~ SomeGuy
                                                  Rating: 3 (+3/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (1)

                                                  • The messenger looked cool D: and they're not in Sparta ~ nikkeho

                                                  Please register an account to add comments.

                                                  #29

                                                  Don't look down. ~ SaxGirl
                                                  Rating: 3 (+3/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                    Please register an account to add comments.

                                                    #30

                                                    You can't get rid of undead just by blowing at them and waving your hands in their direction. ~ SaxGirl
                                                    Rating: 3 (+3/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                      Please register an account to add comments.

                                                      #31

                                                      No matter how funny someone is, no one is allowed to laugh. ~ midievallady
                                                      Rating: 3 (+3/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                        Please register an account to add comments.

                                                        #32

                                                        Aragorn grows facial hair EXTREMELY slowly. ~ midievallady
                                                        Rating: 3 (+3/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                          Please register an account to add comments.

                                                          #33

                                                          You can get Mordor's highly trained army to turn on itself by having them argue over who gets the sparkly-mesh. ~ Pleiades Rising
                                                          Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                            Please register an account to add comments.

                                                            #34

                                                            If you change your mind about your "faithful" servant, send them back home alone across thousands of kilometers of hostile territory. It'll end well. ~ Gaurav
                                                            Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                              Please register an account to add comments.

                                                              #35

                                                              It's smart to build an army that fights each other as well, instead of making one that is stoic and does nothing other than kill. ~ matthijstieleman
                                                              Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                #36

                                                                It's the dwarves that go swimming with little hairy women. ~ SomeGuy
                                                                Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                  Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                  #37

                                                                  Legolas may be an effeminate elfin pretty-boy... but he will still drink YOU under the table. ~ SomeGuy
                                                                  Rating: 2 (+3/-1) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (1)

                                                                  • But... "he can't hold his liquor"XD ~ SaxGirl

                                                                  Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                  #38

                                                                  When your whole life you've lived under the shadow of your older brother with an uncaring father, it suddenly doesn't seem so bad to be a pretty blonde girl's silver medal. ~ SomeGuy
                                                                  Rating: 2 (+3/-1) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                    Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                    #39

                                                                    A king bows to world-savers; even if they're just hobbits. ~ SaxGirl
                                                                    Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                      Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                      #40

                                                                      When you're told not to look down - of course you will! ~ SaxGirl
                                                                      Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                        Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                        #41

                                                                        The Mouth of Sauron, even though without eyeballs, can still ride a horse and lead it in appropriate directions. ~ midievallady
                                                                        Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                          Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                          #42

                                                                          Decapitating the messenger ends negotiations ~ jimbob
                                                                          Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                            Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                            #43

                                                                            Despite being told by Captain Faramir that Gollum's path is dangerous and Sam that Gollum is not trustworthy and wants to kill them, Frodo will be dumb enough to trust him anyway. ~ Andershp
                                                                            Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                              Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                              #44

                                                                              Even though Sam has never fought with a sword in his life (that we know of) he will be able to beat a tower of orcs and a giant spider. He's a small hairy Rambo. ~ Andershp
                                                                              Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                                Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                                #45

                                                                                Mordor could easily double as the stage-set for some '80s Norwegian speed metal band. ~ Pleiades Rising
                                                                                Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                                  Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                                  #46

                                                                                  When you go to Mordor, it's like you're going all the way north at northern hemisphere during winter: the days keep getting shorter and shorter. ~ matthijstieleman
                                                                                  Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                                    Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                                    #47

                                                                                    Fighting side by side with a friend is better than fighting side by side with an Elf. ~ tenshi
                                                                                    Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                                      Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                                      #48

                                                                                      Gandalf should say "Prepare for battle" a little louder. ~ agentdc7
                                                                                      Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                                        Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                                        #49

                                                                                        If Saruman is on top of his tower, beware because he might shoot fireballs at you ~ matthijstieleman
                                                                                        Rating: 0 (+2/-2) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                                          Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                                          #50

                                                                                          Sauron's eye is a shocking reminder to WW2 anti-aircraft searchlights. ~ matthijstieleman
                                                                                          Rating: 0 (+1/-1) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                                            Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                                            #51

                                                                                            Sam is definitely a better judge of character than Frodo.....wait why was Frodo chosen to do this again??? ~ Sassy
                                                                                            Rating: 0 (+2/-2) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                                              Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                                              #52

                                                                                              Mistrust Sam..the only person you've known since always ..but you can trust Gollum the only creature that doesn't care about anything else but ring. ~ Alaurien
                                                                                              Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                                                Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                                                #53

                                                                                                Frodo is never smart enough without Sam around. ~ kethana
                                                                                                Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                                                  Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                                                  #54

                                                                                                  No one ever mentions Sam's name! ~ kethana
                                                                                                  Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                                                    Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                                                    #55

                                                                                                    Gandalf's staff appears at the end, before he sails to the Grey Havens, even though it was destroyed in battle by the Witch King. ~ kethana
                                                                                                    Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                                                      Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                                                      #56

                                                                                                      The Eye of Sauron knocks you unconscious. ~ kethana
                                                                                                      Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                                                        Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                                                        #57

                                                                                                        Women are never allowed in battles! ~ kethana
                                                                                                        Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                                                          Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                                                          #58

                                                                                                          In Middle Earth, people discriminate in sexes ~ matthijstieleman
                                                                                                          Rating: -1 (+0/-1) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                                                            Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                                                            #59

                                                                                                            People who have only seen the movies and never read the books look extremely dim-witted to those of us who have. ~ midievallady
                                                                                                            Rating: -1 (+1/-2) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (0)


                                                                                                              Please register an account to add comments.

                                                                                                              share your own

                                                                                                              Please note that we manually review and edit every incoming submission. Make sure to properly capitalize and punctuate your entry (also leave a period/question mark/exclamation point at the end, don't leave it empty).


                                                                                                              Please register an account to submit a learning.

                                                                                                              movies in theatres

                                                                                                              The Expendables 3Guardians of the GalaxyTeenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)LucyAngry Video Game Nerd: The MovieLucy

                                                                                                              just added

                                                                                                              Road TripLucyThe Wolf Of Wall StreetLooney Tunes: Back In ActionMachete KillsMoonrise KingdomLucyThe Darjeeling LimitedEnemy MineCobra
                                                                                                              AIMY IN A CAGE (Facebook | IMDB)
                                                                                                              Starring Crispin Glover, Paz de la Huerta and Terry Moore
                                                                                                              My brother, filmmaker Hooroo Jackson, recently finished shooting his first movie. It's in post-production now and looks stunning. The movie is a dystopian fairytale that follows a young girl's rebellion against her family. The art direction and surreal imagery remind me of Tim Burton and David Lynch's early works. Like the film on Facebook to follow its progress and to support a young, risk-taking director.




                                                                                                              We've lovingly mined 1649 movies for 46256 learnings.

                                                                                                              About Us | Back To Top