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A man can single handedly steal every single cell phone in a small village and not be noticed. ~ NateSean
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Charred flesh is apparently very cuddly and doesn't crumble when you kiss it. ~ NateSean
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When trying to make a lonely hermit feel like a part of the town write him a citation every so often. Gift baskets and invitations to watch the game are for those lower 48 pansies. ~ NateSean
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Risk game pieces make great lock picks. ~ NateSean
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A townfull of Alaskans will only have three shotguns ~ NateSean
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The two best looking people in town are always marry each other. ~ NateSean
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A vampire who is barely five minutes old will have the advantage in a fight with a vampire that's closer to 800 years. ~ NateSean
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Hide in an attic for a month and don't bathe and the vicious vampires won't be able to find or smell you. ~ wolfgirl92
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Not only do vampires have their own language but apparently weird creepy hermits can understand every word, or at least get the gist of it. ~ Halfsh0t
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Recent studies show that slashing open a persons throat and then drinking their blood is more effective than simply biting them in the neck ~ TiffYG2133
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The hermit who lives far out of town will come investigate for really no reason at all. ~ avalanche719
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Town sheriffs have nothing better to do than to go change the numbers on the population sign. ~ avalanche719
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Vampires who come to Alaska for the 30 days of darkness and the isolated food sources will quickly kill off the bulk of the population, forcing them to have to scrounge for the few remaining survivors. ~ NateSean
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Being a sheriff doesn't mean you know how to unjam a gun. ~ avalanche719
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Apparently the only thing to eat in Barrow, AK when the sun goes down is oreos and snapple. ~ avalanche719
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Its common knowledge on what parts of a helicopter need to be removed in order to render it useless. ~ avalanche719
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Note to self: Buy bars for the windows. ~ avalanche719
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Planes in Barrow refuse to fly when there's no daylight. ~ avalanche719
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Nobody notices a burning pit of phones until the next day. ~ avalanche719
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Only the town sheriffs grow facial hair when darkness falls. ~ avalanche719
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When you get divorced in a small Alaskan town it's everyone's business. ~ NateSean
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No phone calls, emails, etc. for weeks from a town of 150 people -- good to know the Alaskan govt. will not check it out until the sun comes up -- maybe.... ~ NateSean
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The Sherrif having Asthma means absolutely nothing to the plot line. ~ NateSean
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Alaskan gun laws are quite liberal. ~ NateSean
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Cussing at one another within the space of a few minutes to get what you want could be a small part of the reason you broke up. ~ NateSean
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After being thrown into a grinder and being chopped into countless millions of pieces, it takes less than 5 minutes for a vampire to reassemble and watch their leader fight the local hero. ~ njackson84
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In Barrow, Alaska prohibition works. ~ NateSean
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In Barrow, Alaska meat is only served one of two ways: Burnt or frozen. ~ NateSean
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After shooting your whole family so that they can't be taken by the vampires, irony will have it that the gun will jam on the last bullet so that you have to live with the guilt of killing your family for the rest of your life. ~ tenshi
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Don't bother trying to find your pistol after you find an ax. ~ avalanche719
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Blood is a great substitute for hair gel ~ avalanche719
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Make sure to bring sleeping pills if you're going to be hiding out with a senile old man. ~ avalanche719
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The eskimos will skip town when it gets dark but the caucasians will stay. ~ avalanche719
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Don't play with little vampire girls, they'll try to kill you. ~ avalanche719
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What can be broken must be broken. ~ avalanche719
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a lot of people are going to be pissed when they see their homes are wrecked after coming back to barrow. ~ NateSean
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Tough guys call their grandmothers by their first names. ~ NateSean
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The only breed of dog in Alaska are husky sled dogs. No pets allowed. ~ NateSean
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The diversion will work because... it has to. ~ NateSean
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Crude oil is very flammable. ~ NateSean
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Vampires don't exist. You know...except for the ones who are running about, killing everyone, drinking blood. ~ NateSean
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On second thought, it might not have been such a good idea to deny the stranger what he wanted to eat and drink. ~ tenshi
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General stores in Alaska sell large quantities of bear traps. ~ avalanche719
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Bear deterant spray does not work against vampires. ~ avalanche719
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He can smell your blood, but he won't eat you. ~ avalanche719
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If a vampire breaks your leg, its okay to give up and let them take your wife. ~ avalanche719
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The only explaination if a person doesn't die after being shot is that they're all coked up on PCP. ~ avalanche719
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After killing a few vamps with a kickass machine, just drive it straight into a building. You had your fun right? ~ avalanche719
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If you piss a vampire off, he won't eat you, he'll just crush your skull with his boot. ~ avalanche719
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A sheriff will arrest his grandmother for her pot usage. ~ avalanche719
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After someone crashes through your window, just stare, don't run away or anything. ~ avalanche719
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Vampires hate blizzards. ~ avalanche719
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A giant machine used for God-knows-what is called a muffin monster. ~ avalanche719
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Denise never did get that threesome but she did find some vodka and chocolate. ~ avalanche719
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A box of flares will not work. ~ avalanche719
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Why worry about the fire that's consuming the town when you can watch the sunrise? ~ avalanche719
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Arguing over where you're going to tag team a girl with your buddy will only get you killed. Just go to his place. ~ avalanche719
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Landlady's frown upon threesomes with pipeline workers. ~ avalanche719
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After your buddy is thrown back at you bleeding profusely, drop to your knees in shock instead of running. ~ avalanche719
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Don't mention that the vampire is a little girl, its always comical to see someone get a strike. ~ avalanche719
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Don't mention that you were bitten until everything has calmed down. ~ avalanche719
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You won't get hungry till about the 17th day. ~ avalanche719
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Don't trust vampires, they won't honor you after doing the dirty work for them. ~ avalanche719
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Stella quickly forgot about the plants she had to water and the bills she had to pay. ~ avalanche719
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Vampires can climb roofs expertly but have trouble navigating swing sets. ~ avalanche719
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Just stay put, moving around will only get you killed. ~ avalanche719
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If the power goes out, don't count on Gus to fix it. ~ avalanche719
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The lead vampire fights his own battles and his cronies won't assist. ~ avalanche719
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Record players will start the madness, get rid of them. ~ avalanche719
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It took centuries for people to believe that vampires were just bad dreams, now the secrets out. ~ avalanche719
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Vampires always carry around matches. ~ avalanche719
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In the dead of winter, in the dead of night, for 30 nights, you don't need to light a fireplace or turn on the heat. It's a balmy -50 all the time ~ NateSean
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Blood never freezes. NEVER. ~ NateSean
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young girls covered in blood do not blink! ~ NateSean
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Vampires fear dogs, and will hire someone to destroy any canines within the area they are about to destroy. ~ NateSean
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Ancient vampires who are centuries old wear modern day clothes. They clearly need them to a) protect them and b) keep them warm! ~ NateSean
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Barrow, at the most northern point of Alaska, has no daylight from November 18 through January 24, they just shortened it for the book that became a movie. ~ NateSean
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Strangers in Alaska have weird, cajun-like accents. ~ NateSean
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Vampires like wearing a lot of blood as well as drinking it. ~ NateSean
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No one in Alaska wears a ski mask...no one! ~ NateSean
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You will only freeze to death if you're hiding under a car. Not in the house. ~ NateSean
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Vampires will find you if you hide in a windowless attic, but they won't find you if you hide in the general store or the police department. ~ NateSean
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Vampires who seem to be pretty simple minded still know how to disable an entire town's phone and computer systems. ~ NateSean
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Sunlamps have the exact same power as the sun. ~ NateSean
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Barrow recieved all twelve inches of it's annual snowfall during the thirty day period. ~ NateSean
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Fifteen minutes is too damned long to wait for the sun to rise. ~ NateSean
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Some Alaskan drivers are allowed to drive without lisence plates. But let your engine leak in this down buddy and you're damned sure going to get a citation. ~ NateSean
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Powerlines remain perfectly still during a raging blizzard. And no ice will form. ~ NateSean
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Snow doesn't melt in fire. ~ NateSean
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When man meets a force he can't destroy, he destroys himself ~ NateSean
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There isn't enough time in this century to explain your personal problems to the rest of the town. ~ NateSean
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There is no escape. No hope. Only hunger and pain. ~ NateSean
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No one believes vampires exist but they all assume they're immortal. ~ NateSean
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Not everyone brought Peggy out to see the sunset on their first date. ~ NateSean
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If the Sherrif is dead no one gets out of jail. ~ NateSean
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Big lonely hermits don't fall down when they're shot. ~ NateSean
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Just because something worked on Bela Lugosi doesn't mean it will work on these vampires. ~ NateSean
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Flairs are explosive. ~ NateSean
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To defeat them you must ALWAYS become one of them, ~ thugz4real
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If the vampires aren't stopped, next time they'll take out Point Hope. ~ thugz4real
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Vampires are decreasing their horror levels....1st comes Twilight which show us that vampires can be vegetarian and sparkle in the sunlight...now vampires use blood as hair gel....next thing..would be a vampire that can pass as a mortal..and eat vegetables -.-'' ~ Alaurien
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The little girl vampire spoke English. The other vampires spoke their own language. Nobody in the town had seen the little girl before. Who the hell was she? ~ KMAC
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Instead of driving out of town to get help it's best to drive a plow around running over vampires. ~ SlipStool
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The only reason your son wants to go live with his grandmother is to steal he pot. ~ tenshi
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Vampires will give up if their leader is killed. ~ avalanche719
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Ther eis no god. ~ NateSean
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