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You can sleep easy knowing your youngest child is safe with the drug-addled old guy who's seen and did too much. ~ Pleiades Rising
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Parents will only encourage stripper behaviour if you are under the age of 12. ~ TiffYG2133
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It's possible that little girls can be inspired by strippers. ~ kugen
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Make more noise when silence is needed, since it helps people to hear their phonecall better. ~ Pleiades Rising
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Apparently, winning takes 3 less steps than staying clean and sober. ~ Pleiades Rising
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Put the suicidal person in the same room with the angry teenage boy who worships Nietzsche. ~ Pleiades Rising
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The crappier the van, the better the transportation! ~ Pleiades Rising
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Despite its implausibility, children's beauty pageants do have standards that can be broken. ~ Pleiades Rising
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You don't get better suffering than your high school years. ~ Sherlock Junior
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Nobody in a hospital will notice if a family of a deceased person just disappears and the deceased person disappears with them. ~ Rapt0r9
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Getting rid of a body is surprisingly easy, so long as it's in the back of a car. ~ Rapt0r9
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Sarcasm is what losers use to make winners feel bad and bring them down to their level. ~ HermanoBluth
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Always leave the hospital door open enough for the emotionally fragile patient to hear your sensitive conversation. ~ Pleiades Rising
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Nietzsche's far out, possibly further than Jesus. ~ Pleiades Rising
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Avoid awkward small talk at the dinner table, but head straight for the insulting and insensitive comments on serious issues. ~ Pleiades Rising
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Old man advice is destined to get you somewhere in life, but that somewhere could be scary or illegal in some states. ~ Pleiades Rising
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When you sense a broken sarcasm detector, play with it and see what happens. ~ Pleiades Rising
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Always do a head-count before driving away. ~ Pleiades Rising
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Good parenting includes body smuggling. ~ Pleiades Rising
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A children's beauty pageant is kind of like a well-organized, finely decorated version of Dante's "Inferno". ~ Pleiades Rising
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Everyone but you will realize what a big gasshole of a father you actually are. ~ Pleiades Rising
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Jumping into a moving 3-ton VW minibus is a safe and effective method of travel with your family. ~ miquonranger03
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He still has Nazi bullets in his ass. ~ HermanoBluth
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The beauty pageant does not seem to be worried about sexualising little girls by making them look like gremlins, but hypocritically decides that a girl who is dancing to a burlesque song that was taught by her grandpa is wrong. ~ Movie Genius
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Clerks won't bag your porn mags until after you've been humiliated. ~ Pleiades Rising
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You really DON'T want to know what Grandpa's into. ~ nvidia2010
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Be suspicious and uneasy if your bereavement liaison looks like Condoleezza Rice. ~ Pleiades Rising
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Grandpa's porn stash is in fact capable of saving the day. ~ Pleiades Rising
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