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Laptops, even when their batteries drain to 0%, can be re-activated in time for one last goodbye video chat. ~ Adam
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The first thing a 911 dispatcher will ask you when you call in an emergency situation is how you spell your name. ~ Adam
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Always give the terrorist a fake name - he might Google you. ~ Adam
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It's smart to invest in gold when you're about to hijack a subway train. ~ matthijstieleman
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Trains that are certain to derail at high speeds won't actually derail at high speeds. ~ ch00f
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Neck tattoos are a good way to let the world know how hard you are. ~ Shinmaru
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If you promise you'll do a task and deliver on it, don't expect any praise. ~ Adam
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If there's a dangerous subway hijacking the best way for the mayor to travel is by taking another subway. ~ Adam
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Ass models long to visit Iceland. ~ Adam
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If you promise your wife you'll bring a gallon of milk home afterward, she'll calmly let you do any dangerous job on earth. ~ Adam
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Finding an old man who's probably only a few yards away takes too much time. ~ Adam
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Making a glorious last stand against the cops isn't as fun when your gun is caught in a zipper. ~ Adam
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A relatively small hostage situation will wreck havoc on the stock market. ~ Adam
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Denzel Washington really looks shockingly a lot like a "set in his ways" government worker with glasses and really cheap clothes. ~ matthijstieleman
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If you're a sniper with NYPD and you don't want to kill anyone by accident, always set rat traps around you. ~ matthijstieleman
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When you're about to get caught for hijacking a subway train and taking a lot of money, look dangerous, stand in the middle of the road laughing while a hundred policemen are aiming their gun at you, pull your gun out so that they'll shoot you. ~ matthijstieleman
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When there's very little time left and people's lives are at stake, start a discussion with your wife about the size of the package of milk you need to buy. ~ matthijstieleman
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Hijackers don't notice a 15 inch laptop on the ground with a full-screen disturbed looking girl on it. ~ matthijstieleman
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John Trovolta knows you're Irish. ~ Adam
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Train conductors were put on the Earth for one reason only: to conduct people. ~ Adam
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People actually use their laptops on the Subway. ~ Adam
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Always keep Garber on the phone. ~ Adam
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Bribery doesn't count if you were going to recommend the same train anyway. ~ Adam
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Rudy Giuliani is selfish, but at least he wears beautiful suits. ~ Adam
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John Travolta knows you're watching him through your sniper rifle. ~ Adam
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If you take an ass model to Iceland, you definitely work on Wall Street. ~ Adam
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$2 million isn't enough. ~ Adam
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Teenage girls these days are not embarrassed when the whole subway train can see their boobs. ~ matthijstieleman
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Michael Bay says that the camera rolling 360 around an actor is his trademark. I wonder if he was rented Taking of Pelham 123? ~ Rider
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ABC is easy as 123. And manipulating stocks by using a hostage incident is just as easy. The Jackson 5 were right. ~ Rider
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If Denzel was in prison he'd be John Travolta's bitch because he has a sexy voice. ~ ryan corderman
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NYPD snipers leave their safety off at all times. ~ bourbonphantom
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You'll receive a one penny commission for brokering a deal between the mayor and a terrorist. ~ Adam
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