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Giovanni Ribisi...... still creepy. ~ RoC77
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Nothing is as magical as a boy's wish...except an Apache helicopter. ~ Grayfire
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Christmas is the one time of the year when Boston children get together to beat up the Jewish kids. ~ Grayfire
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The Jewish kids want to be beaten up. ~ Grayfire
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Ted is just like the baby Jesus. ~ Grayfire
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LOOK WHAT JESUS DID!!! LOOK WHAT JESUS DID!!! LOOK WHAT JESUS DID!!! ~ Grayfire
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No matter how big a splash you make in the world, eventually, nobody gives a shit. ~ Grayfire
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Teddy bears ride dogs instead of horses. ~ Grayfire
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"Oh shit it's 9-11! I've gotta get high!" ~ Grayfire
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When you say, "It's not my fault," you don't expect a follow-up question. ~ Grayfire
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Sometimes, when you get f***ed up, you want someone to beat you up. You will even thank them afterwards. ~ Grayfire
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If a woman farts in her sleep, that's a dealbreaker. ~ Grayfire
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Where's Ted's ring, motherf***er?!! ~ Grayfire
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It's only cannibalism if you swallow. ~ Grayfire
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Thunder is just God's farts. ~ Grayfire
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Girls talk about Channing Tatum's index finger. ~ Grayfire
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If a hot guy hits hits a woman accidentally, it won't hurt. ~ Grayfire
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If you talk shit to a future employer who's never had it talked to him, he will hire you. ~ Grayfire
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Ladies don't mind if a teddy bear touches their boob. ~ Grayfire
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The guy said there ain't hardly been no murders in it, so that apartment is great! ~ Grayfire
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No, he's not just happy to see you. That IS a Flash Gordon ray gun. ~ Grayfire
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White trash names have a "-lynn" at the end of them. ~ Grayfire
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If you have sex with a cashier on top of the produce you sell to consumers, you will be promoted. ~ Grayfire
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"Thank you for creeping out my night, and may Christ be with you." ~ Grayfire
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This is art. Get it? ~ Grayfire
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Just from one gentlemen to another, I hope you get Lou Gehrig's Disease. ~ Grayfire
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You never should've trusted Ted; he's on drugs! ~ Grayfire
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Oh c'mon. Ted doesn't sound THAT much like Peter Griffin. ~ Grayfire
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"You can't have any pudding if you don't eat your meat!" ~ Grayfire
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Michelob Ultra Tuscan Orange Grapefruit. What is American coming to? ~ Grayfire
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If you peek while counting during hide-and-seek, you'll get kid cancer. ~ Grayfire
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You shouldn't call 9-1-1 if someone just took your teddy bear. ~ Grayfire
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There are some situations where it's ok to punch a kid. ~ Grayfire
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You will be promoted to manager if you eat potato salad off of your girlfriend's bottom behind the deli counter. ~ Grayfire
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A teddy bear is afraid of falling and landing softly on the ground. ~ Redshirt1
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Who doesn't love a teddy bear on drugs? ~ Lil
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Just because it has a teddy bear in it, does not mean it is suitable for children. ~ elphie
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Ted is like a Jersey Shore version of Yogi Bear. ~ john2012
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A movie that makes fun of Adam Sandler isn't aware that the movie itself is just like an Adam Sandler movie. ~ Max
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