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If someone rapes you, rape them back. ~ Grayfire
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The BEST thing to do when a journalist has no clue about your serial-raping-and-killing secret is shoot at him from a long distance. ~ KevyB
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Swedish people only speak English. ~ KevyB
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"Sometimes he performed cunnilingus. Not often enough, in my opinion." ~ Grayfire
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When someone gives you a place to stay, you also must adopt the cat that lives there. ~ Grayfire
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If someone steals your purse, kick their ass and take it back. ~ Grayfire
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The best thing you can do after narrowly escaping death is to have sex with a girl you barely know. ~ Grayfire
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We all have urges. Satisfying his just requires more towels. ~ Grayfire
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The second-best thing to do when a journalist has no clue about your serial-raping-and-killing secret is kill the neighborhood cat and leave the mutilated corpse on his porch. ~ KevyB
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If you're looking for a killer, always pick the most famous actor amongst the tertiary characters. ~ KevyB
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If a book has too many pesky relatives making the mystery too confusing, keep all the other relatives off-screen and give the most screen-time to the lovable old fart and the guy who always plays a villain. ~ KevyB
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Apparently, everybody has the same ringtone. ~ Grayfire
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Elevators are the perfect place to let out your anger and frustration. ~ Grayfire
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The best thing to do when your suspicious of someone is to walk into their house, grab a knife, and wander around. ~ Grayfire
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For once in a wreck involving a car and a motorcycle, the car came out worse off. ~ Grayfire
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Don't expect the American remake of an already great movie to not suck. ~ Thalidomide Squid
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If a metal butt plug starts slipping out, have someone kick it back in. ~ KevyB
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If you learn a guy's marriage broke up because of a longtime affair with another woman, make sure to be extremely surprised when he continues the affair after sleeping with you. ~ KevyB
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Stress compels you to become a smoker. ~ Grayfire
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When someone says "clean", assume they're talking about hygiene. ~ Grayfire
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Some people have the ears of a dog (hearing wise). ~ Grayfire
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The most detestable people you can imagine are the family of the one who hired you. ~ Grayfire
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The man who hires the detective should always be kept on the suspect list. ~ Grayfire
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Dental floss also doubles for stitches. ~ Grayfire
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Why don't people trust their instincts? ~ Grayfire
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The cat always knows too much; it must be taken care of. ~ Pleiades Rising
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F*** You, You F***ing F*** ~ Grayfire
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