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Don't fuck with balding midgets. ~ ryan corderman
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Your mother will never appreciate The Human Centipede as much as you. ~ ryan corderman
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Your job won't care if you spend company time watching The Human Centipede. ~ ryan corderman
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Don't tell Martin not to look at your girlfriend. ~ ryan corderman
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Stop them tears; it only makes daddy's willy harder. ~ ryan corderman
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Scrap booking is the number one hobby of The Human Centipede fans! ~ ryan corderman
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If you talk about making a human centipede, you were probably just abused and touched by your father. ~ ryan corderman
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Don't let the big angry bald guy yelling at you distract you from your meal until he knocks the table over. ~ ryan corderman
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Always play with a child after shooting at him and his parents. ~ ryan corderman
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Sandpaper is just lube for psychopaths! ~ ryan corderman
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Your mom will never like your scrap book. ~ ryan corderman
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Even if you'd rather be fucking a retarded boy, a blow job from a chick will do. ~ ryan corderman
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Nothing interrupts a blow job worse than gun shots. ~ ryan corderman
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Always be sure to brush your human centipede's hair. ~ ryan corderman
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A mentally challenged man won't find it at all strange that his doctor is fondling his leg. ~ njackson84
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Instead of just using the drag option to return to the beginning of the DVD on a laptop, some people will just put it on rewind and wait. ~ njackson84
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You've just slit your wrists, the only natural thing to do next is to rummage under your son's bed. ~ njackson84
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Security guards won't shower despite how sweaty they get before putting their uniform on. ~ njackson84
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When you wake up under a tarp after being kidnapped the most logical thing to do is jump up, scream and run towards the door. ~ SlipStool
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Your car's gas petal can be used as an infant skull crusher for the multitasking abortionist on the go! ~ SlipStool
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When watching The human centipede ALWAYS keep a bucket close to you. ~ Deadlymemories
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Even if your life depends on it; don't roll, shake, slam, twist or fight while your mouth is being stapled into someone else's behind or your teeth are being hammered. ~ Abraxas
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If you finally manage to grab ahold of your capturer/torturer; instead of trying to knock him unconscious - expecially if he's asthmatic, retarded and weak - grab a funnel, stick it into his bum (which is extremely easy) and encourage a handy bug - which naturally has been patiently waiting nearby - to get inside him. ~ Abraxas
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