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The God of Thunder is no match for a taser. ~ KungFuMasterLarry
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The Asgardians have no idea about Loki's trickster nature even though on Earth we have mythology books full of his deeds. ~ The Superior
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Pet shops don't sell horses or animals big enough to ride. ~ ryan corderman
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Asgardians scoff at your scientifical hooey "worm holes" - it's a Rainbow Bridge, damnit! ~ JenLynnG
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Never trust your adopted brother. ~ KungFuMasterLarry
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The God of Thunder will be gracious enough to smile for your facebook photos. ~ KungFuMasterLarry
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Smashing a glass on the ground is not a socially acceptable way of ordering another drink. ~ ryan corderman
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Stan Lee fucked his truck up. ~ ptexfigily
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Your father didn't stop loving you if he kicked you out of the house. He just wanted to teach you an important life lesson. ~ SomeGuy
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Thor wields a magical hammer called Mew-Mew. ~ SomeGuy
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A box of Poptarts is no match for the God of Thunder's appetite. ~ JenLynnG
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Agent Phil Coulson, Son of Coul. ~ ZenMaster
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Thor can beat up wave after wave of soldiers that are highly trained in hand to hand combat. However he is easily overpowered by a few doctors and lowly paid hospital security staff that have no combat training whatsoever. ~ DamnHollywood
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Asgardians, despite coming from lightyears away, speak the very same form of English spoken in modern America. ~ Olifromsolly
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Thor REALLY likes coffee. ~ KungFuMasterLarry
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Natalie Portman needs to watch where she's going when she's driving. ~ KungFuMasterLarry
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Thor can hold his alcohol. ~ KungFuMasterLarry
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S.H.I.E.L.D. will take your Ipod away after you just download like 30 new songs. ~ ryan corderman
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All the best moms know how to wield swords. ~ SomeGuy
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This is how Thor normally looks, and it's a good look. ~ JenLynnG
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The Asgardians live in a place where magic and science are the same and one. A magic hammer which has great power to build and destroy was used to destroy their gateway. However, they find it is impossible to reconstruct the gateway. ~ DamnHollywood
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Ice people are bad, mkay! ~ Mogipbob
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Thor has fought bigger. ~ Blooddrunk84
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Mortal forms need sustenance. ~ SomeGuy
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For a homeless guy, you can be cut. ~ Kman11
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Don't ever mistake Volstagg's appetite for apathy. ~ sammy davis jr
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Your trailer van is apparently your 'Chambers'. ~ Raajnie
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While interrogating a man who beat up your best fighters with his bare hands, don't worry about TYING him up in his chair, or confining him in any way. ~ Wallpaperotaku
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If it's huge and metallic you can guarantee it will destroy everything in town but the hero and his girl. Might make her faint though. ~ Sinner Matic
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You can get away with shooting a third of your film in dutch angles! ~ The Superior
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It takes hours to drive 50 miles. ~ Mogipbob
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Always have tailgate parties near cool looking hammers. ~ Mogipbob
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Heimdall can see you naked in the shower... ~ oleza
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The best way to convince your peace-loving father that you would make a great king is destroying a whole race with their realm for that very reason. ~ Dora11740
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Thor is really hammered *snare drum* ~ Max
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The creepy old guy that hires two hot young chicks to work on his science projects is not suspicious at all. ~ broham
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Though perplexed by the names and functions of tazers and coffee, Thor knows full and well what to do when faced with an iPhone and told to smile for a picture that will go on Facebook. ~ Keely
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Follow your father's advice unless you want to be kicked out of Asgard. ~ KungFuMasterLarry
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You can't find horses in New Mexico to take you to your destination. Luckily, Natalie Portman and her jeep are at the ready. ~ KungFuMasterLarry
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If it's over 10 feet tall, metallic silver, and can shoot streams of fire from its face, Tony Stark didn't build it. ~ KungFuMasterLarry
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Hawkeye is starting to like Thor. ~ ryan corderman
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I remember once again that I've been wasting my life not doing sit-ups... ~ SomeGuy
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Want to make an impression? Show up on someone's turf in a golden shaft of light while riding an eight-legged horse. That'll get their attention. ~ Ace
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Agent Colson will be deeply offended if you beat up all his men by yourself. ~ TankerCaptain
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If Thor needs CPR... I can TOTALLY do CPR!!! ~ Raajnie
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Thursday is Thor's Day. ~ gerard29
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Being in Thor for 45 seconds means you get to be an Avenger. ~ TheBaddestOfThemAll
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So, you mean to tell me that the straps used to pin down crazy people in the hospital are just THAT easy to navigate out of? Of course. Of course.... ~ Keely
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The secret of Thor's strength isn't the fact that he is a crowned prince of Asgard or because he wields a magical hammer. It's all in the hair. His long, flowing hair! ~ Keely
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Shortly after Thor's single-handed destruction of the rainbow bridge, the Asgardian royal family was faced with a multi-million dollar lawsuit regarding the new hazards that the incomplete road now posed for the racers in the final level of Mario Kart. ~ Keely
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Loki is a puny - Oh wait wrong movie ~ Max
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