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Real estate agents would rather stand outside of a haunted house in the pouring rain than enter it. ~ Beast
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Cutting your finger on a Satanically possessed lamp can kill you. ~ Beast
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Toasted parrot and French Toast make a good breakfast. ~ Beast
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Lamps can impersonate a child's dead father very convincingly. ~ Beast
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Never pretend to play with a chainsaw. ~ Beast
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Always check the water coming out of your tap before brushing your teeth. ~ Beast
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When black goo comes out of your taps and a plumber is in your basement fixing it, that shouldn't stop you from doing laundry. ~ Beast
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Electrical power cord strangulation can resemble a heart attack to the average coroner. ~ Beast
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Demons can drive plumbing trucks. ~ Beast
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Your granddaughter's psychiatric regression isn't nearly as much of a concern as your other grandchildren's haircut, clothes and make-up. ~ Beast
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Lamp power cords can grow 150 feet in seconds. ~ Beast
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Priest's residences always resemble 19th Century libraries. ~ Beast
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When your child's bedroom has crayon on the walls, always assume it was a break-in. ~ Beast
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