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Zombieland

Last Updated
11/28/09
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Waffuru
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the top 100

#1

Bill Murray always has Ghostbusters ready to go in his home theater. ~ Schultzie
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#2

The fatties are the first ones to go. ~ Waffuru
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    #3

    Twinkies do expire. ~ Waffuru
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      #4

      Thank God for rednecks. ~ Wayward Warrior
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      • And rednecks driven by twinkies. ~ Shineska

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      #5

      Do not trust Bill Murray with a practical joke. ~ Raindrop23
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        #6

        The hot girl that you let into your apartment, who's been bitten and turned into a zombie, won't attack you until you are awake. ~ Sharkboy
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          #7

          In a zombie apocalypse, the power plants will continue to generate electricity for all of your amusement park and home theater needs. ~ KeenHavoc
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            #8

            Zombies can't tell if you're a human as long as you look like a zombie. ~ Waffuru
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              #9

              The best stress relief comes from destroying a roadside novelty shop. ~ Wayward Warrior
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                #10

                Roller Coaster + Zombie killing = Best Day EVER. ~ Schultzie
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                  #11

                  Only use a weapon once, that is unless you can reload it. ~ Schultzie
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                    #12

                    If you get hit with a golf club by pretending to be a zombie the first time, pretend again to the kid with a shotgun. ~ KeenHavoc
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                      #13

                      Zombies who reside in supermarkets will all inevitably be white, male, and obese. ~ bellpickle
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                        #14

                        If you steal someone's car, hold them at gunpoint, and mess with them at every opportunity, give them a twinkie and all will be forgiven. ~ Sharkboy
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                          #15

                          I learned that to get to single minors, you have to double tap your way there. ~ Shineska
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                            #16

                            You just gotta run faster than the person next to you, if you're going to survive a zombie attack. ~ Pleiades Rising
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                            #17

                            12 year olds may not know who Ghandi is, but they sure as heck understand how Hannah Montana works. ~ SomeGuy
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                              #18

                              It is not wise to go to an amusement park during a zombie apocalypse, it is VERY unwise to turn the power on at an amusement park during a zombie apocalypse. ~ Waffuru
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                              #19

                              It's not wise to learn the real names of your traveling companions as you may become attached to them. ~ Waffuru
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                              • Jonah Hex had a similar rule with his pets Horse and Dog. ~ ryan corderman

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                              #20

                              Purel, lots of purel. ~ Schultzie
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                                #21

                                When zombies attacked someone entered the unlimited ammo cheat. ~ waffle
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                                  #22

                                  There's always time to stop at the walk of fame. ~ UsernameTed
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                                    #23

                                    Mad Cow Disease will eventually lead to the Apocolypse. ~ wolfgirl92
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                                      #24

                                      Just because you're in the middle of the Zombie Apocalypse doesn't mean that you can't still go out and have a good time. ~ Schultzie
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                                        #25

                                        Taking the time to personalize your vehicle is a helpful way to keep sane. ~ UsernameTed
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                                        • It didn't work so well in Tallahasee's case though. ~ UsernameTed

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                                        #26

                                        The first chick you sleep with will try to eat you in the morning. ~ Dominic
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                                        • When you really should be trying to eat her. ~ john2012

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                                        #27

                                        Sometimes it's best to enjoy the little things. ~ Waffuru
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                                          #28

                                          Never relinquish your gun to someone else, lest they take it and shoot you instead. ~ Waffuru
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                                            #29

                                            Everybody is good at something. ~ Schultzie
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                                              #30

                                              Never trust strip joints, they will steal your money and try to kill you! ~ Sharkboy
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                                                #31

                                                Always wear your seatbelt. ~ nightman34
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                                                  #32

                                                  The best way to survive the Zombie Apocalypse is not to flee the country, but to head to an alleged safe haven inside of it. ~ UsernameTed
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                                                    #33

                                                    The problem with coconut is not the taste, it's the consistency! ~ Oak
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                                                      #34

                                                      Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thrice, suffer the threat of dozens of zombies nipping at your heels. Fool me in quadruplet, well... you'd better have a god damned twinkie waiting for me. ~ SomeGuy
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                                                        #35

                                                        Double-barrelled shotguns are not ideal for gun salutes. ~ SomeGuy
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                                                          #36

                                                          Never buy hamburgers at the gas station. ~ SomeGuy
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                                                            #37

                                                            Garfield is Bill Murray's old shame. ~ SomeGuy
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                                                              #38

                                                              12 is the new 20. ~ marcsnothere
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                                                                #39

                                                                The best impromptu weapon: not one of the many large, sharp knives in your kitchen, but a shower curtain. ~ miquonranger03
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                                                                  #40

                                                                  There may or may not be a significance to the number '3'. ~ Waffuru
                                                                  Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Register to Vote! | Register to Favorite! | (2)

                                                                  • Indeed it is. Just like in Jackass the Movie. ~ Daryl
                                                                  • I think it's a reference to Dale Earndhart senior of Nascar racing. ~ UsernameTed

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                                                                  #41

                                                                  Never trust little girls. Ever. They are manipulative car thieves and will get at your heart strings, causing you to rush madly into an infestation of zombies. ~ Wayward Warrior
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                                                                  #42

                                                                  If a girl asks you to let her use your gun to shoot her bitten little sister, remember to check her little sister BEFORE you hand her the gun, they might just be con artists. ~ MaRona
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                                                                    #43

                                                                    Not using anybody's name to not get attached will ultimately backfire. ~ Schultzie
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                                                                      #44

                                                                      Banjos are very solid musical instruments. Load up on Banjos, and, maybe learn to play. ~ UsernameTed
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                                                                        #45

                                                                        Always double tap. ~ wolfgirl92
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                                                                          #46

                                                                          Testing your strength on a zombie clown's head is far more satisfying than ringing the bell. ~ SomeGuy
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                                                                            #47

                                                                            You can have a lot more fun going to Wichita than you might think. ~ SomeGuy
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                                                                              #48

                                                                              Nuns know how to kill zombies. ~ HermanoBluth
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                                                                                #49

                                                                                When in doubt, Know your way out. ~ TankerCaptain
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                                                                                  #50

                                                                                  Mexico has the better Twinkies. ~ Dominic
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                                                                                  #51

                                                                                  Garland, TX still looks the same in a zombie apocalypse. ~ Dominic
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                                                                                    #52

                                                                                    Doing a Zombie impression during a zombie outbreak....probably not the best idea! ~ TiffYG2133
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                                                                                      #53

                                                                                      Bill Murray likes to keep the front door to his mansion unlocked during zombie apocalypses. ~ thugz4real
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                                                                                        #54

                                                                                        It might mean something if you say sorry to someone you just shot point blank with a shotgun. ~ thugz4real
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                                                                                          #55

                                                                                          Don't take a shit in Zombieland. ~ thugz4real
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                                                                                            #56

                                                                                            Mothers that have the "my kid is an honors student" sticker slapped on their van are fat, have massive Beanie baby collections, and don't like seat belts. ~ thugz4real
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                                                                                              #57

                                                                                              Normal ass Americans like to play I spy or some shit while driving down the road. ~ thugz4real
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                                                                                                #58

                                                                                                Rednecks like to carry a whole arsenal of fully-loaded assault weapons in the back of their Hummers. ~ thugz4real
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                                                                                                  #59

                                                                                                  A good way to attract a zombie is by playing a "Deliverance" tune on a banjo in a supermarket. ~ Abrina7
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                                                                                                    #60

                                                                                                    Never be the hero. ~ nightman34
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                                                                                                      #61

                                                                                                      Don't kill Bill Murray. ~ nightman34
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                                                                                                        #62

                                                                                                        Girls age faster than boys. ~ K2
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                                                                                                          #63

                                                                                                          Cardio. ~ SomeGuy
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                                                                                                            #64

                                                                                                            You could eat around the buckshot in the splattered twinkie, but it wouldn't be worth it. ~ SomeGuy
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                                                                                                              #65

                                                                                                              When your other options are your sister or a crazy guy driven by twinkies, it's really easy to want to hit that. ~ SomeGuy
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                                                                                                              • LOL ~ Thalidomide Squid
                                                                                                              • Sure it does. Also, you spelt grammatical wrong. Not trying to be petty, though. ~ SomeGuy
                                                                                                              • This doesn't even make gramatical sense! ~ kvn8907

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                                                                                                              #66

                                                                                                              It's hard to be upset about your death when in hindsight the prank leading up to it was very poorly thought out. ~ SomeGuy
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                                                                                                              #67

                                                                                                              The zombie apocalypse is a little easier to accept when you don't necessarily have to headshot them. ~ SomeGuy
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                                                                                                                #68

                                                                                                                Akimbo M1911's: Classy. Akimbo Chainsaws: Godly. ~ SomeGuy
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                                                                                                                  #69

                                                                                                                  You don't need to lock your car door in the zombie apocalypse. ~ SomeGuy
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                                                                                                                    #70

                                                                                                                    Hellevator-type rides come back down after they shoot you up. ~ SomeGuy
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                                                                                                                      #71

                                                                                                                      Fat people will die first in the Zombie apocalypse. ~ HermanoBluth
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                                                                                                                        #72

                                                                                                                        Gas attendants are the best people to rip off. ~ HermanoBluth
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                                                                                                                          #73

                                                                                                                          Limber up. ~ TankerCaptain
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                                                                                                                            #74

                                                                                                                            When zombies rule the world, pranks can be deadly. ~ kaizar
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                                                                                                                              #75

                                                                                                                              During a zombie apocalypse, Facebook will be useless. ~ Dominic
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                                                                                                                                #76

                                                                                                                                Zombies are attracted to amusement parks. ~ Dominic
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                                                                                                                                  #77

                                                                                                                                  Bill Murray has a nice house. ~ Dominic
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                                                                                                                                    #78

                                                                                                                                    Something kind of cool actually happened in the Dallas area in this movie. ~ Dominic
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                                                                                                                                      #79

                                                                                                                                      Blenders suck for killing people. ~ Dominic
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                                                                                                                                        #80

                                                                                                                                        Bullets are a zombies weakness. ~ Dominic
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                                                                                                                                          #81

                                                                                                                                          Native American gift shops are fragile. ~ Dominic
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                                                                                                                                            #82

                                                                                                                                            It's really fun to trash up Native American travel shops. ~ thugz4real
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                                                                                                                                              #83

                                                                                                                                              Always paint the number "3" on every SUV you steal. ~ thugz4real
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                                                                                                                                                #84

                                                                                                                                                There are no black people left in Zombieland. ~ thugz4real
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                                                                                                                                                  #85

                                                                                                                                                  Double-tap to avoid becoming a human happy meal! ~ thugz4real
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                                                                                                                                                    #86

                                                                                                                                                    Bill Murray=Best Cameo ~ jacobdfl
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                                                                                                                                                      #87

                                                                                                                                                      "Fucking" is not Bill Murray's middle name. ~ Fitz
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                                                                                                                                                      #88

                                                                                                                                                      If you find a whole bag of weapons in a zombie apocalypse, its appropriate to waste a bunch of rounds to celebrate. You don't need bullets do ya? ~ avalanche719
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                                                                                                                                                        #89

                                                                                                                                                        Woody Harrelson likes Twinkies. ~ coolme16405
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                                                                                                                                                          #90

                                                                                                                                                          Bill Murray gets me. ~ sammy davis jr
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                                                                                                                                                            #91

                                                                                                                                                            Twinkies are forever. ~ Shineska
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                                                                                                                                                            #92

                                                                                                                                                            If your car is yellow, you do not run out of fuel. ~ Manga Cheapskate
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                                                                                                                                                              #93

                                                                                                                                                              When you limp up, the words will do the same. ~ K2
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                                                                                                                                                                #94

                                                                                                                                                                Banjos make for better bludgeons than guitars. ~ SomeGuy
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                                                                                                                                                                  #95

                                                                                                                                                                  130 years after it was created, people will still be using the sawn-down, lever-action "Mule's Leg" as a symbol of badass. ~ SomeGuy
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                                                                                                                                                                    #96

                                                                                                                                                                    Marijuana kills. ~ SomeGuy
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                                                                                                                                                                      #97

                                                                                                                                                                      Take away a man's son, and you leave him with nothing. ~ SomeGuy
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                                                                                                                                                                        #98

                                                                                                                                                                        Even the most badass of individual does not want to die at the muzzle of his own gun. ~ SomeGuy
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                                                                                                                                                                          #99

                                                                                                                                                                          Is it edible? Put it in a plastic bag. ~ miquonranger03
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                                                                                                                                                                            #100

                                                                                                                                                                            Even when you know it's a trap, not only wander into it willingly, but leave as many blind corners as possible. ~ miquonranger03
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                                                                                                                                                                              #101

                                                                                                                                                                              Don't be a Hero ~ TankerCaptain
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                                                                                                                                                                                #102

                                                                                                                                                                                Beware of bathrooms. ~ TankerCaptain
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                                                                                                                                                                                  #103

                                                                                                                                                                                  Don't help a lady look for her ring. ~ Dominic
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                                                                                                                                                                                    #104

                                                                                                                                                                                    Always double tap. ~ Josh
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                                                                                                                                                                                      #105

                                                                                                                                                                                      If you want to go to an amusement park, take Bill Murray's advice and dress up like a zombie. ~ avalanche719
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                                                                                                                                                                                        #106

                                                                                                                                                                                        Take quicker $hits in a zombie apocalypse. ~ avalanche719
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                                                                                                                                                                                          #107

                                                                                                                                                                                          Bill's full name is Bill Fucking Murray ~ AKenjiB
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                                                                                                                                                                                            #108

                                                                                                                                                                                            Zombie+falling piano=Zombie Kill of the Week. ~ geniul5
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                                                                                                                                                                                              #109

                                                                                                                                                                                              When you find a grocery store full of food, you don't take any of it. ~ PointMan528491
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                                                                                                                                                                                                #110

                                                                                                                                                                                                A little sunscreen never hurt anybody. ~ Waffuru
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                                                                                                                                                                                                  #111

                                                                                                                                                                                                  You don't want to feel how hard Woody can punch. ~ ryan corderman
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                                                                                                                                                                                                    #112

                                                                                                                                                                                                    Goodbye lines are horrible, especially if it's from a movie. ~ K2
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