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You know you brought along enough food when you can use cornbread for target practice. ~ Adam
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Never allow the Indian criminal a chance to speak before his execution. ~ Adam
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A corpse is worth at least a few medical supplies. ~ Adam
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Even alcoholic gun slinging wild men can live to be in their late 70's. ~ Adam
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The best defense against someone stealing a kiss from you while you sleep is to be ugly. ~ Adam
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People need to be specific whether they are asking you how many people you shot or how many you killed. ~ ryan corderman
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Never trust a doctor who travels in bear skin. ~ Adam
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Going backwards is the preferred way to back up. ~ Invaderben
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Telling a black child that you are going to name your black horse "Little Blackie" would probably get you killed these days. ~ Invaderben
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A marshall can look forward to a long and fruitful retirement as a traveling circus act. ~ Adam
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Stabbing a horse will make it run faster and/or longer. ~ mike3489
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Undertakers will let you sleep in coffins. ~ Invaderben
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If your undertaker tells you twice within the span of 2 minutes that it's ok to kiss a dead body, find another undertaker. ~ BajaDoug
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The eye patch is the ultimate cool guy accessory. ~ ryan corderman
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Little girls like getting revenge too! ~ ryan corderman
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Rooster Cogburn is a man with true grit. ~ ryan corderman
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The sun was not in Jeff Bridges' eye. ~ ryan corderman
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Drinking water by licking hoof tracks is the first requirement for becoming a Texas Ranger. ~ Adam
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During a confrontation, always state there are at least 5-50 people with you, even if alone. ~ mike3489
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Never assume that the 14 year-old girl will not shoot you. ~ Invaderben
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Cogburn goes backwards when he backs up. ~ Grayfire
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Sleeping in a coffin would be better than sleeping with Grandma Turner. ~ Grayfire
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It's alright for a strange, grown man to give a 14-year-old girl a spanking. ~ Grayfire
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There's nothing better in life than to have a good lawyer at your disposal. ~ Adam
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Being on the trail of a criminal isn't too different than going coon hunting. ~ Adam
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Indian kids love to torture horses. ~ Adam
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Smart and goal-oriented girls can't be bothered with marriage. ~ Adam
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Recoil is dangerous for little girls. ~ Adam
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Don't tell the 14 year-old girl bent on revenge how to properly cock the pistol she's carrying. ~ Invaderben
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It is hard to dismount when you are drunk. ~ Invaderben
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Little girls roll great cigarettes. ~ justin
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When given a choice between three skilled marshals, always go with the one who is the most vicious. ~ justin
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It is possible to carry on conversations almost immediately after your tongue is nearly severed. ~ justin
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An empty whiskey bottle is an acceptable trail marker. ~ Grayfire
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When you finally shoot the man you've been after all along, you will fall down a hole, be bitten by a rattlesnake, and lose your arm. You won't care too much in the end, though. ~ Grayfire
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Contractions are for squares. Real men do not use them. ~ Ace
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Characters who only speak by making animal noises don't need an explanation as to why they're like that. ~ njackson84
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When someone outside shoots a gun, turn your lights on and grab a lantern and stand on your porch and curiously and openly peer out into the night to see who is shooting at you without arming yourself, too. ~ BajaDoug
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If you get shot while riding you horse, try not to fall face-first into a boulder on the ground. ~ BajaDoug
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It's silly to ask a 14-year-old if she has a lot of experience with bounty hunters. ~ ryan corderman
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Jeff Bridges can do nothing for you. ~ ryan corderman
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Not knowing anything about guns automatically means your gun will misfire. ~ Adam
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If you are a U.S. Marshall you can kick kids off of porches without impunity. ~ Invaderben
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Rooster will not stand by while a girl gets spanked. ~ Invaderben
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You can tell if there is a Texas Ranger nearby by the sound of his spurs. ~ Invaderben
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A man wielding a cane bolt is worthy of being shot. ~ justin
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Leave a corpse in a cave alone. ~ justin
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The childs' price for hunting down a fugitive is $100. ~ justin
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You can have all the free confiscated whiskey you want by becoming a federal marshal. ~ justin
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The best place to carry your gun is in an old flour sack. ~ justin
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Lawyers are pencil-necked sons of bitches. ~ justin
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Having served in the Army of Northern Virginia is nothing to hang your head about. ~ justin
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Captain Quantrill did not kill women and children in Kansas. ~ justin
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Futile is not spelled F-u-d-e-l. ~ justin
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Don't buy your bullets from Chinamen. ~ justin
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If you're gonna get yourself killed, do it in the summer. ~ justin
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The line between self defense and bushwhacking is very minimal. ~ justin
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You don't need sleep when you have whiskey. ~ justin
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When he got a closer look, Cogburn determined that he did not know that man. ~ rheiser
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Grandma Turner's bed is narrow. ~ Invaderben
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"The Wicked flee when none pursueth." ~ Grayfire
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It would be alright to kiss your dead father. ~ Grayfire
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If you would like to sleep in a coffin, that would be alright. ~ Grayfire
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Texas Rangers are full of themselves. ~ Grayfire
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Mistreating a donkey gets you kicked. ~ Grayfire
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A dead body is worth something in trade. ~ Grayfire
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Texas Rangers get no respect outside of Texas. ~ BajaDoug
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I'm pretty sure Mattie was able to buy that pony for $10. ~ RoC77
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Even back in the 1800's most defense attorney's were the scum of the earth. ~ john2012
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Don't expect anyone to bury you when the ground is hard. ~ teash
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Taking a bullet through the left lung is a minor injury. ~ bourbonphantom
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Approaching a man taking a shit is just rude! ~ ryan corderman
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The bad guy isn't always impossible to kill. ~ Adam
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People in the Wild West can speak very well. ~ Adam
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