No one in the hospital will even attempt to stop a girl from walking into an operation room and stealing a human heart. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Good luck, Gotham. You're now in the hands of a street cop with no training, no mentor, and likely no idea how to use any of the equipment he inherited. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A bully can beat the ever-loving heck out of Peter Parker in front of a bunch of classmates and get away with it, but Peter can humiliate said bully (not fight him, but humiliate him), and get community service. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Apparently, in Paris, there's no other indiscreet or private ways to attempt suicide besides throwing yourself off the Eiffel Tower. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

I wonder how Ra's Al Ghul would've felt about his daughter sexing up Bruce in her grand scheme to avenge him and destroy Gotham. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Nick Fury isn't above pulling some weird shit involving bloody corpses and their trading cards to motivate The Avengers to assemble. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Sometimes it takes your uncle's murder for a bully to stop picking on you. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Don't kill the guy who planned and succeeded in blowing up your girlfriend. Instead, go after and kill the people who failed to stop the guy who planned and succeeded in blowing up your girlfriend! link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Sometimes you'll go to great lengths to protect the reputation of a man who was about two seconds away from shooting your son in the face. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Dominic Toretto's father was a great guy. He took his kids to church every Sunday, he held neighborhood barbeques, and he made sure his daughter did her homework correctly. He was a swell guy. So it makes perfect sense that Dom would grow up to be a convicted felon/murderer. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Get ready to see Alfred spend most of his screen time crying like a little bitch. link
Rating: -5 (+1/-6)

Batman's the latest to join in on the "superhero-must-create-a-fire-in-the-shape-of-his-logo" trend. link
Rating: 3 (+4/-1)

Combustible chemicals are always sitting around at the ready in high school science classes. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

The raging jerk of a convenience store clerk will expect the latest victim of his dickheadery to come to his aid when being robbed. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

An alien so evil and incredibly dangerous that a prison was built ON THE MOON SPECIFICALLY FOR HIM is still allowed to have visitors. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

A shift in history will make you crave chocolate milk. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Even in his late 20s, Agent K looked older. Maybe K was just born old. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Nobody still seems to realize a time machine allows you to go back as many times as you want until you accomplish your goal. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

Sometimes, if you don't leave a tip, the world will be destroyed by an asteroid. So, you know, leave a tip at the diner. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Agent J was cool with using the time machine to save the world and his grump of a partner, but when it comes to going back again and saving his own father from his death at the hands of an alien, nooooooo. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

Boris the Animal has one interesting laugh. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Boris the Animal's impaling hand-daggers that instantly kill everyone hit with them are no match against one man: WILL SMITH. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Residents in a Vegas suburb work all night and sleep all day. Everybody. Every single one of them. Not one person, except the main character, will hear bloodcurdling screams coming from the new neighbor's house. No one notices the disturbing sight of the new guy in the neighborhood walking up to a car and biting a couple of teenager's throats out. No one even hears the distinct BOOM of a house exploding. In the suburbs of Vegas, you can get away with anything. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Mary Jane must've forgotten, when Harry attacked her and made her break up with Peter, that her boyfriend is Spider-Man. All it would've taken instead of breaking up with him was, "Harry attacked me. He's making me do this, and he's right over there behind those trees. Go beat his ass." Problem solved. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Sometimes, if you're trying to convince someone that a vampire is living next door to him, and have HARD PROOF to back up such a claim, PRESENT THAT SHIT UP FRONT. Don't just say, "Your neighbor's a vampire." You're better off saying, "Your neighbor's a vampire, and here's my hard evidence." Do that, and it'll make a world of difference. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A murderous 400-year-old vampire who has been in the midst of killing or turning the entire neighborhood is absolutely no match for some fire and a carabiner clip. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A Predator sent to clean up a mess with no traces, can't resist killing and skinning a human for others to see when the opportunity presents itself. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Figures Agent Coulson would get Whedon'd. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

You have to be specifically "without fear" in order to be a Green Lantern. So the logical thing to do is to take a gamble on a man with a history of quitting things... and... well, a bit of a coward. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Sometimes flying up into the clouds to try to calm down your friend just isn't worth it! link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Some people still haven't learned that bullets DO NOT WORK ON THE HULK. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The Hulk isn't trying to hear any of your monologuing; he'll just deal you a good and thorough thrashing instead. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

If the gamma monster, super soldier, tech-genius, God of Thunder, and explosive-arrow-wielding-master archer all fail against the otherworldly army, at least we got Black Widow and her trusty glock to back us up! link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)

You can't catch the wind, but you can BURN it! link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The best way to convince the President that you and your team of mutants are not a threat is to interrupt his televised speech, enter his mind, and stare silently at him. Heck, even make it storm outside and make the power go out in his Oval Office. Oh, and for good measure, bring along the mutant who tried to assassinate him. If that won't convince him that you're not a threat, I just don't know what will! link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Not one person in a nightclub full of hundreds will notice the strange sight of a man hanging from the ceiling then dropping down like he's Spider-Man. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

When your husband is beaten and mugged by a couple of gun-wielding lowlifes who specifically tell you not to scream, promptly scream at the top of your lungs anyway. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Think Sarah Connor was going to meet her demise doing something really badass? Prepare to be disappointed. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

You can't prevent Judgment Day, but you CAN reschedule it a few years. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

A 20-year veteran of the police force should know better than to let himself be taunted by a madman. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

*Gasp* Watch out, Ghost Rider! Your enemy's main power is poking people to death! link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Megatron had absolutely no problem being The Fallen's bitch, but when it comes to Sentinel Prime, he draws the line. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The Devil really needs to man up and keep his own punk-ass kids in line. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Ghost Riders have a limited amount of transformations. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

"You don't give a damn about human beings", says the murderous, woman-beating, attempted-raping sadist who just shot down a pregnant woman in cold blood. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The Joker planned to take over, and even destroy Gotham, not to mention intentionally corrupting the D.A., not that he's the type of guy who plans anything. Not at all. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The most worthy successor to join the Green Lantern Corps is a hotshot, smarmy quitter. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

You can punk out and quit the Green Lantern Corps, but you're allowed to keep the ring. Consider it an intergalactic souvenir. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Quit the Green Lantern Corps because one member hurt your widdle feewings so bad. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Parallax can mow down multiple Green Lanterns and destroy planets, but apparently can be harmed by an earth missile. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The embodiment of fear looks like a giant flowing pile of feces. With corn. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

The vampire who lives next door will just ASSUME you have beer to lend him. Forget asking if you even have beer in the first place. It's like, "hey, I know you have beer, let me have it." link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

An alien entity will conveniently land not too far from the only guy in the world who has spider powers. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Being around while giant robots save the world gives you a disgustingly overwhelming sense of entitlement and the right to talk down to just about everyone you come across. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Don't be lighting candles in houses where witches once resided. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Upon breaking into a vampire's house, take only pictures of the weird insignia in one of the rooms. Apparently this will be the only evidence you need, and not the collection of uniforms he keeps in his closet, and definitely not the storage cells that he keeps his live victims in (one of which, by the way, a live victim will be trapped in). link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Need to break into a vampire's house? There's an app for that! link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Real-estate signs make for great makeshift stakes. Stake a vampire with one of these and he'll start furiously shrieking and writhing around ala Samara Morgan from "The Ring". link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A 400-year-old vampire can't hear your breathing when you're about 10 feet across the hall from him, but a vampire only about two days old can. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

After dating for only a short amount of time, your girlfriend will feel comfortable enough to enter your house without waiting for an answer, as if she pays the mortgage, and proceed to behave like a first-class, Grade-A bitch towards you. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Even for a vampire, Jerry was creepy. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Just because you're a vampire and you've stolen your next-door neighbor's girlfriend doesn't mean he'll let you get away with rubbing it in by making out with her and making her drink blood from your slashed chest. Especially if said neighbor is wearing a flame-retardant suit. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Be nice to your former friends, they might just become vampires and try to kill you. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If your folks were murdered by a vampire, become a magician and base your whole stage act around vampires. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

If you're a vampire, the best loophole to be invited into a house is just to blow it up. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

When seeing the vampire who has just blown up your house and lobbed a dirt-bike at your van rapidly approaching you in a pickup truck, just keep going at the speed limit and let him rear-end you. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

eBay is useless. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Vampirism gives you an AWESOME and speedy breast augmentation. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

"The day my life got better was the day I stopped being friends with YOU." -our hero of the story, ladies and gentlemen. The guy we're supposed to root for. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Vampires will try to con their way into getting an invitation into your house under the pretense of needing beer. DON'T FALL FOR IT. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Some vampires wear capes. Some even sparkle in the sunlight. Others move into towns in the suburb outskirts of Vegas, keep storage cells for their victims, and try to draw as MUCH ATTENTION TO THEMSELVES AS POSSIBLE by blowing up neighbor's houses, biting people out in the open, and victimizing people in a perfect radius around his house. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

A military general will truly believe that a superpowered being who knowingly tried to take over the world and caused a LOT of property damage in New York City is much more trustworthy and reliable than four superpowered HEROES who have saved the world and other people on multiple occasions. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

See, Harry? Snape wasn't such a bad guy after all. link
Rating: 3 (+5/-2)

Voldemort LOVES to scream. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Don't F with Molly Weasley. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Voldemort will bring his beloved snake Nagini, which he knows is one of the very things that his arch-nemesis has been successfully destroying, to the final life-or-death battle. link
Rating: 8 (+8/-0)

19 years later... Harry Potter grew up to look like Robin Williams. Ron Weasley grew a gut. Draco Malfoy looked like a child molester. Ginny Weasley's head grew larger and she became very frumpy-looking. And Hermione Granger looked virtually the same. link
Rating: 7 (+7/-0)

Sam Witwicky will yell for Bumblebee, his transforming robot car, whom he keeps holed up in his garage, to SAVE HIS ASS from a horde of Decepticons, only to continue yelling at and berating him after he did exactly what Sam demanded. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Michael Bay traded a girl with an odd-looking set of thumbs for a girl with an odd-looking set of lips. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Even in the midst of explosions and vehicles flying about mere feet behind you, just continue standing there, with a dumbfounded, confused, deer-in-headlights look on your face. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

After two movies, Ratchet still can't repair Bumblebee's voice. link
Rating: 11 (+11/-0)

All those manned missions to the moon? They were really missions to probe a Cybertronian spacecraft. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Megatron is back... and now he rocks a cloak. link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)

Megatron wants Abe Lincoln's seat. link
Rating: 11 (+11/-0)

Even with one arm, Optimus Prime will still kick your ass. link
Rating: 8 (+8/-0)

Michael Bay only said the Twins wouldn't be back. He never said anything about Wheelie, though... link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Save the world twice and you still end up working a thankless job handing out copies. link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)

Autobots will wait until the Decepticons have tossed a man out of a moving vehicle and caused a ton of property damage to transform and fight back. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Autobots are gracious enough to make power gloves for humans. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

A pickup truck is able to derail a freight train by colliding with it head-on, causing tons of property damage and nearly killing a group of innocent children. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The remains of a derailed and destroyed freight train can violently rain down without hitting any person who was in the area. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Some aliens don't want knowledge of your planet. Some just want our car generators and engines. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Fat kids are foul-mouthed and arrogant. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Although it is mean-spirited to loudly speak of rumors of the death of your friend's dead mother, nobody will pay any mind. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Go ahead, free the hostile alien. As violently and destructively as possible. It only wants to get home. And kill a few innocent people along the way. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Aliens can transfer their thoughts unto you with a touch. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Aliens have an effect on dogs to the point where they'll run COMPLETELY out of town. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Charles Xavier used to have a little bit of game back in the 60s. link
Rating: 2 (+3/-1)

Mystique used to be a nice girl with some personality. Who would've thought? link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

If your mutation is the ability to adapt to survive, that doesn't necessarily mean you will. link
Rating: 3 (+4/-1)