Nothing short of killing Malcolm Reynolds can stop Malcolm Reynolds. And even that has failed in the past. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Love keeps a ship in the air when she ought to fall, love tells you she's ailin' before she keens, love makes her home. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

It's a bad sign when a movie is forced to make up good reviews and attribute them to fake name puns that you could have made up in fifth grade. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Hey, you know what absolutely no one has made fun of yet? Twilight! Let's make a movie out of all the funny jokes no one has made about Twilight yet! I mean, seriously, it's only been part of the mainstream for the past five years. Why hasn't anyone made fun of Twilight yet? link
Rating: 2 (+3/-1)

Best way to ditch your ex-girlfriend is to dive through a small glassed windowpane right by the door. Just don't forget your coat. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Don't just instantly attack your evil doppelganger. Try to talk it out first, you may find you have a lot in common. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

People won't question mass murder so long as the victims turn into coins after dying. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

Young Neil plays lots of stuff. Zelda, Tetris.... link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Sex Bob-Omb is here to make money and sell out and stuff. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

Ken may or may not occasionally wear high heels with his astronaut suit. link
Rating: 4 (+5/-1)

Everything's sexier in Spanish. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Hamm is actually a pretty good harmonica player for someone who doesn't have a throat. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Ken is NOT a girl's toy! HE'S NOT! link
Rating: 6 (+7/-1)

See 'n Says make fantastic roulette wheels. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Strawberries are the scent of pure evil. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Sid Phillips is authorized to drive and operate heavy machinery. This is unsettling. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

After about eight years, your dog probably isn't up to carrying your toys downstairs at high speeds anymore. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

Do NOT buy replacement toys. Your old ones won't take it well. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

No one can top Mr. T, but "Rampage" Jackson gave a damn good try. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If Face tells you AMF, he damn well means it. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

The A stands for "Awesome". link
Rating: 1 (+3/-2)

We will never really know if Murdock is really that crazy or if he's faking it to achieve some higher cause, but either way we love him for it. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Hannibal can escape a crematorium in ten seconds flat and still have a one-liner handy for the guy running the oven. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

It is indeed possible to fly a tank. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Mahatma Gandhi was a rather ferocious pacifist, in retrospect. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

If the guy's gun doesn't have a firing pin, you should still stick around until you're sure he's dead, because it's around there somewhere and that thing will come back to haunt you. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

You know, that time dagger thing might make a pretty cool video game mechani- oh wait. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Every movie set in the ancient Middle-East has to have at least one mute black gu- WAIT, HE CAN TALK? link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Vietnam's soil is ideal for growing, rice, poppies and LEAD, MUTHAF***A. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Snakes can get shot in the eye in one scene and be perfectly fine several later. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Anacondas enjoy killing so much that they'll go to remarkably pointless lengths and waste energy spitting up their prey just to devour them again. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Ice Cube thinks he can blow it up. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A giant snake is perceptive enough to know who trapped it, smart enough to figure out which human is most dangerous to its continued existence at what time and fast enough to keep up with Jennifer Lopez in her prime, but completely unable to figure out how to douse itself when on fire, even when it's already half-submerged in water. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Jon Voight is the only reason to even watch this. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The ethnic minorities are the only two survivors. Not sure if that's progressive or not. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

If a giant wooden wall is protecting the entire world from a huge-ass primal monstrosity the likes of which man was not meant to see, find another route to the hospital. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Jon Voight can jump about six feet in the air and snap a grown woman's neck between his thighs while tied to a support beam. He should probably be in the next Street Fighter for that one. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Owen Wilson's girlfriend is really, REALLY stupid. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Your failing health is best discussed with your love interest over a stuffed egg dish typically served at breakfast time. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

Tony Stark is so boss that he uses Captain America's shield to prop up his computer components. link
Rating: 1 (+2/-1)

None of the old elements working for you? Make your own element! link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The Iron Man suit has a filtration system. You can drink your own urine once it's been through there. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Singing muppets can be creepy as hell if they have half a mind to be. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Beware the one-legged man. Also, running with scissors. It's all great fun until someone loses an eye. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Dead men tell no tales. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The deadliest and most feared of all the dragon species known to man will inevitably be adorable. link
Rating: 5 (+6/-1)

Viking helmets are made from the used Breastplates of Viking women. link
Rating: 6 (+6/-0)

Volcanoes are like Easter Eggs, except instead of jellybeans and stickers, they contain 12 story tall dragons that were imported directly from your nightmares. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Dragons always go for the kill. Unless they don't. Then they let you ride them. link
Rating: 5 (+6/-1)

Girls walking away from explosions are sexy. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

Dragons are like big, scaly cats. Cats that breathe exploding blue fire. And can fly. link
Rating: 3 (+4/-1)

Stitch is not a dog at all. He is a Night Fury. link
Rating: 2 (+3/-1)

If your son's life is apparently endangered by a large, toothy, fire-breathing reptile that is staring him in the face, the best possible thing you can do is yell really loudly and make lots of noise. link
Rating: 1 (+2/-1)

Chicks dig guys who can slay dragons, but they dig guys who can ride dragons even more. link
Rating: 3 (+4/-1)

A true friend always eats his buddy's half of a regurgitated raw fish. link
Rating: 1 (+2/-1)

Chicks dig the car. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The only correct way to portray a villain with ice-based powers is to spew out endless ice-based one-liners that are supposed to be funny but aren't. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Turns out George Clooney can appear in a bad movie. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Never leave the cave without the bat-credit card. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Why yes, it CAN get campier than Adam West. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Uma Thurman is able to stop being sexy. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Batman keeps prosthetic lips lying around the Batcave. Heaven knows why. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

No bat-themed armor is complete without nipples. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

The King of England sounds suspiciously Scottish. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

There's something wrong when the murdering thief is the source of your childhood trauma and the clown is your adulthood nemesis. Even if they're technically the same guy. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The best way to preserve your culture, traditions and skills is to entrust the future of your people to a guy who worked for the enemy until about a month ago and is already better than any of your native members at all of those things. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

Naveen can mince anything, especially words. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The goofy hillbilly firefly is the subject of great tragedy, oddly enough. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

What hard work can't achieve, an involuntary amphibian transformation and some wacky Bayou shenanigans can. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

If Gaston had a tan and was slightly less of an ass, he'd be a pretty okay guy. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Hard work always pays off, up until the point where a couple of jerkwad realtors give you the finger while simultaneously telling you that you'll never get anywhere because you're not an upper-class white man. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Deals with the inhabitants of Voodoo Hell just don't end well. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Not only is their treasure knowledge, but knowledge is also their treasure. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

You will always remember this as the movie where they ALMOST caught Captain Jack Sparrow. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Somewhere down the line, logic dictates that Ricky Bobby will have two children named "Little House" and "On The Prairie." link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Applebee's is the go-to place for bar fights. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

"El Diablo" is Spanish for "The Fighting Chicken." link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Don't leave your weapon prototypes lying around. Just don't. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Tony Stark has a heart. However, it requires an external source working round the clock to keep it from getting impaled by small metal shards. link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)

Tony Stark can do it IN A CAVE! WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS! link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)

Always fire your friendly business partner. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Just say it was a training exercise. They'll buy it. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

Removing an electromagnet from a human chest is just like playing Operation. link
Rating: 6 (+6/-0)

Terrorists have the worst luck. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

It doesn't matter how unethical it may seem or how many different sections of the Geneva Convention it goes against, if you hand an unarmed crime lord to a group of people he's been terrorizing, the entire theater will cheer for you. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

From the way he treats it, Indy may well have given birth to that hat. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

If a robot with a crush can't have you, it'll at least make it so that if you look at it in a really creepy way, you both end up having a kid together. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Leiland Stottlemeyer of Monk fame apparently moonlights as some thug who goes breaking into basement labs. Adrian would be ashamed. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Worms don't say "hello". They say "'allo", but that's close enough. link
Rating: 5 (+6/-1)

You're only supposed to throw your own head. link
Rating: 2 (+3/-1)

David Bowie may get top billing, but David Bowie's crotch is the real star of the movie. link
Rating: 7 (+8/-1)

Goblins will totally kidnap your siblings if you ask nicely. link
Rating: 1 (+2/-1)

Nectarines can induce acid trips. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

The Bog of Eternal Stench is very aptly named. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

It's only forever. Not long at all. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

That logic puzzle (you know the one) was once used in an episode of the Powerpuff Girls. It's notable because Blossom got the answer wrong and no one called her on it. link
Rating: -2 (+0/-2)

Japanese people are wise, powerful and dedicated. They're also known to hide in a storage closet for hours on end just to make a really bad pun. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

There is nothing in the box. YOU SO STUPID! link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Never steal Plutonium from terrorists. link
Rating: 2 (+3/-1)

Want to blend in in 1955? Wear a poofy red vest. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)