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Alpha DogIt's possible that an awkward teenage boy can willingly lose his virginity in a threesome while being held captive by drug dealers. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A Serbian FilmWhen the movie industry has run out of ideas, the rape of a family, newborn children, pregnant women, and headless corpses come to mind as legitimate film content. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

21Being the genius, MIT senior student that you are, the best hiding place you can find for your growing Vegas winnings is the weak ceiling right above your bed. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

2 Fast 2 FuriousThe word "brah" is a legitimate form of endearment towards your male companion at each and every moment. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

16 BlocksBruce Willis plays the good cop who was actually a bad cop, deciding to be good again. Classic Bruce Willis. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Easy ATom Cruise can be the default movie trailer joke. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Simpsons Movie, TheHelicopters can manage to safely and accurately put down glass domes. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Simpsons Movie, TheArnold Schwarzenegger could possibly be our next president. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Simpsons Movie, TheNever mind the general law of science-it is not impossible to consume a whole city with a big, glass dome. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Simpsons Movie, TheBambi has not had the "it" talk yet. link
Rating: 6 (+6/-0)

Gran TorinoThe cool kids always host mini-gatherings in the basement. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Gran TorinoStepping on somebody's lawn will result in a shotgun warning. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Zack and Miri Make a PornoHow this movie avoided an NC-17 rating is beyond anyone. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Little Miss SunshineIt's possible that little girls can be inspired by strippers. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

TransformersPlot device: Robots invade Earth. Teenager holds key. Teenager wants to hold hot girl. Teenager saves world. Teenager gets girl. link
Rating: 0 (+2/-2)

300To be Spartan, spray-painted six packs are an absolute MUST. link
Rating: -3 (+1/-4)

300Asking Sparta a question will result in death. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

HitchYou can be a matchmaker and not have any stable relationship for yourself. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Finding NemoThis movie is in no way implying multiple counts of attempted murder. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Peter PanAll boys who want to stay young wear tight, green pants. link
Rating: 4 (+6/-2)

Beauty and the BeastA "beast" always means a talking, hairy, bull on two legs. link
Rating: -2 (+1/-3)

Little MermaidGirl sees hot guy. Girl defies father. Girl sells soul to the devil. The plot thickens. link
Rating: 8 (+8/-0)

Little MermaidWho cares if she's underage? As long as she's hot and hating her father, she's available! link
Rating: 7 (+8/-1)

Little MermaidOh, don't mind the laws of nature. It's normal for fish and humans to fall in love with each other. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Little MermaidDisney princesses MUST be jailbait. link
Rating: 7 (+7/-0)

G.I. Joe The Rise of CobraNobody uses camo anymore. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

G.I. Joe The Rise of CobraJust like every other action movie, make sure that one Asian guy has a sword, no matter how stereotypical. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Uninvited, TheIt's possible to have a whole storyline created from your psychotic imagination. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

AladdinBad guys can sexually assault a princess in a Disney movie--so long as the kids don't get it. link
Rating: 22 (+23/-1)

Ninja AssassinNinjas are, in fact, not assassins. Ninja assassins are. In other words, most redundant title EVER. link
Rating: 4 (+6/-2)

Ninja AssassinNinjas don't really talk. They just speak in short, audible phrases and scream with rage. link
Rating: 2 (+4/-2)

Paranormal ActivityHave a demon in your house? Make a fun video project about it. link
Rating: 11 (+11/-0)

Paranormal ActivityWhen in doubt, bring your camera. link
Rating: 7 (+7/-0)

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood PrinceWhen the characters of a very popular literary franchise come-of-age in your movie, make everything angsty. link
Rating: 8 (+8/-0)

Dark Knight, TheDads force smiles. link
Rating: 5 (+6/-1)

Transformers: Revenge of the FallenNever tell autobots to leave your universe. link
Rating: 4 (+5/-1)

Paranormal ActivityWhen demons get jealous, they shatter your boyfriend's picture. link
Rating: 6 (+6/-0)

Paranormal ActivityWhen your girlfriend tells you not to buy a ouiji board, borrow it. link
Rating: 13 (+13/-0)

2012When the world ends, cars will randomly blow up. link
Rating: 8 (+8/-0)

AIMY IN A CAGE (Facebook | IMDB)
Starring Crispin Glover, Paz de la Huerta and Terry Moore
My brother, filmmaker Hooroo Jackson, recently finished shooting his first movie. It's in post-production now and looks stunning. The movie is a dystopian fairytale that follows a young girl's rebellion against her family. The art direction and surreal imagery remind me of Tim Burton and David Lynch's early works. Like the film on Facebook to follow its progress and to support a young, risk-taking director.

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