If you find a nurses cart full of life saving adrenaline doses make sure you don't take more than one each. There's only about 20-30 minutes of film to stay awake through anyway. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If you are on pills and doses of adrenaline designed to keep you awake, you will fall asleep at the same time as the girl who refused to take any of these. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Apparently cutting each other and reaching inside your partner's stomach is the ultimate turn on. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

People who chat and visit virtual worlds are all fat, ugly, disgusting and perverted. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

When your daughter's freakin out because a volcano exploded right behind you, tell her "look at my face, do I look scared?" and look as terrified as possible. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

The freakin Mona Lisa will keep smiling like an idiot through the apocalypse. link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)

The entire earth crust can move, shift and thrash around, but the American continent will still look the exact same shape and will simply have glided down south. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Your seven year old daughter who likes hats still wets her bed, but nothing the destruction of the earth won't fix. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

John Cusack can defeat the laws of gravity when his trailer falls into an abyss. Even though the trailer is at a near 90 degree angle, you're at the bottom, falling off the trailer yourself, don't worry. You WILL be able to walk back up the trailer, get to the side door and grab the edge of the abyss all in one second. You will of course still be able to run after your ex-wife's plane. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

US landmarks and monuments are still the first to go in disaster movies. By 2012, we still won't have realised it's so cliché. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The greeting cards business is lying to us! link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Ingrid doesn't know how lucky she is. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When there is no shortage of Eastern European girls desperate to go west that will do anything, abducting American girls with wealthy families and ex-CIA dads saves transporting costs and clearly is the safer option. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Liam Neeson to Famke: "I told you so!" link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When your daughter watches her best friend get kidnapped the most reassuring thing you can tell her is "Hide under the bed. Now they're going to take you." link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Your 17 year old has just been kidnapped by international pimps. But now you finally know at least she's not sexually active. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)