Anyone who says, "I don't want any trouble" will no doubt kill everyone in the room with post-apocalyptic karate. link
Rating: 15 (+15/-0)

If while reading the Bible you realize passages are missing, it's okay, Denzel just forgot the words. link
Rating: 12 (+12/-0)

Lead characters can always walk away from a serious car accident. Babies apparently don't make a sound. This I did not know. link
Rating: 9 (+9/-0)

When you're the lead girl's best friend, no one cares when you die... or tells your parents. link
Rating: 8 (+8/-0)

If a man tells you "if you lay your hand on me, you won't get your hand back," DON'T TOUCH HIM! link
Rating: 7 (+7/-0)

Every time an angel dies, someone gets cool tatoos. link
Rating: 7 (+8/-1)

A blind man can escape a guarded room without explanation, but if you let him escape, you get shot in the face. It's in the rules of guarding doors. link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)

Rule #1, all old ladies are possessed. Don't take chances, just shoot them in the face. link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)

All babies are indestructable. Don't ask questions about how he survived a car flipping 5 times and people ejecting from the front seat; He will survive. It's in the rules. link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)

Always give your best guns to the guy with the hook-for-a-hand; at least he'll never be able to shoot his own hand off. link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)

Smoking during pregnancy causes your child to be born in 45 seconds. link
Rating: 4 (+5/-1)

Brothers always know where you're going. So when you're traveling to a big tree in the middle of nowhere even though he didn't see or hear the directions, he knows where you are. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

The words "We can negotiate" apparently gets you shot in ANY situation. link
Rating: 3 (+4/-1)

Homeless Vampires can't find work, or blood. Looks like it's a bad economy even in the movies. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

When you stab a vampire in the heart and the explosion knocks you against the wall, don't worry, the next vampire you stab won't explode, period. He'll just disappear leaving you with an awkward look on your face. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

The best way to stop a zombie-angle attack... make a baby cry. link
Rating: 2 (+3/-1)

All toy stores carry fully automatic weapons in the back. I'm going to Toys-R-Us later. link
Rating: 2 (+3/-1)

If you're unsure if your friend is possessed, ask him to show you his teeth. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

When a human-machine hybrid is tied up, whispering at him REALLY close about the past 3 films is intimidating. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The safest place to hide during an angel attack is by the gas pump. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

When jump starting a vampires heart in a winery, always use flame retardant medical equipment. It'll set you on fire, just not your equipment. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Hot lead girls will only get topless in the Directors cut to encourage you to buy a movie that's exactly the same. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)