Scott is not very good at song writing or singing for that matter. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Scott is too trusting. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

A gift card to Boston Market for $37 is an excellent gift. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Movies are the new books. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

A super strong alien can only escape a train when it derails. link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)

Spooner likes sugar....a lot. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Military helicopters are not allowed to blow up a car wash, rather, the proper procedure is to wait for the car to exit and is shiny like new. link
Rating: 1 (+3/-2)

You might want to skip the post car wash drying procedure, they go a little over board. link
Rating: 2 (+3/-1)

She'll never know whether or not Peter called. link
Rating: 1 (+3/-2)

A pregnant woman can endure a lot more stress than one would think. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Don't drink the water! link
Rating: -2 (+0/-2)

Mrs. Dutton needs to get her eyes checked her peripheral vision is seriously lacking. link
Rating: -2 (+0/-2)

The Trixie virus is a great population stabalizer. link
Rating: 1 (+2/-1)

As a 'crazy' when stabbing your victims don't go for the hand, I promise you will be sorry. link
Rating: -3 (+0/-3)

A drive-thru car wash may give you a little more than you bargin for. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Military screws up and accidentally poisons a town...just kill everyone ASAP no questions. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Soldiers just follow outlandish orders because they are brainless space monkeys. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

When your quickly packing for your escape stop in on your would-be baby's room, that won't waste time nor will any harm come from it. link
Rating: 1 (+2/-1)

You might think your husband should rid you guys of his infected friend but maybe not, he might come in handy. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When the town drunk shows up at the baseball game and aims his gun at you shooting him won't make you a hero. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The 'crazies' aren't really that deserving of their name....maybe the 'slowies.' link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

You're already 'crazy' make your death matter. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Rachel is a very dedicated nurse. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

If your husband ignores you because he is so consumed with his job and alcohol, just kill the children that'll get his attention. link
Rating: 5 (+6/-1)

Teddy Daniels is crazy! Wait, I mean Andrew Laeddis. link
Rating: -2 (+0/-2)

The best cure for insanity is playing pretend. link
Rating: 6 (+6/-0)

Its best to go out into the forest during the height of a hurricane. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

When you set voyage to Shutter Island for a few days, bring no luggage. link
Rating: 4 (+5/-1)

It might not be the best idea to divulge your entire 'Project Shutter Island' plan to your partner whom you just met....he may not be so trustworthy. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Its ok to still show up to prom even though you lied to your friends about not being able to go....they won't care. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

While you're on a date its ok to excuse yourself for 20 minutes to take a phone call so long as its one of your 'phone entertainment' clients. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

When you're not sure about spending the rest of your life with your boyfriend say yes to him when he asks for your hand in marriage, you can always just dump him later in the day. link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)

The airports in Cali are very laid back, they'll just let you run around the place with no repercussions. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

Do not leave your shoes unattended at the airport, no one is allowed to touch them. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

When you want to buy a plane ticket from a grumpy old man (who's angry that he has to wear a blue shirt to work) tell him your sob story and all the while he will randomly give you a ticket on him! link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

On Valentine's Day you can act goofy in love because its Valentine's Day. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Just because you put 87 celebrities in one movie doesn't mean it won't be forgetable. link
Rating: 2 (+3/-1)

Letting a beautiful woman fall asleep on shoulder on a plane means you like to feel needed. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Jumpers are very private about their "hunting Paladains" lair so keep out. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

A lair that looks like a cave is not a cave, it's a lair. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

Jumping off a roof isn't that painful, actually you'll even be able to run immediately after doing so. link
Rating: 4 (+5/-1)

Keep telling the mutants to stop trying to kill you because you can save them, they seem like a rational group. link
Rating: 13 (+13/-0)

Don't have any hope about this colony in Vermont because you know everyone is dead, well your still alive and this girl and this kid but that's it! link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Butterflies are important. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

After you discover another human and go to his house don't just cook whatever food you see without asking, he might be saving it. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When the guy you just saved from mutants mubbles "They don't know where I live, stay out til dawn, don't let them track us." Ignore him and drive him home anyway, after all he's just been through he's probably just talking crazy. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

In order to determine whether someone has been infected dont just examine them once, check again! link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Maybe you shouldn't take your dog everywhere when you go out exploring, she seems to get in a lot of trouble. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

If the maniquin that you placed in the video store shows up randomly on the street somewhere don't think its a trap set up by the other living creatues inhabiting the city. No instead ask the thing how the hell it got out there and when it doesn't answer...unload! link
Rating: 6 (+6/-0)

An angel comes down from Heaven and tells you that your baby will save the world. When he's born you still won't want him. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Angels look a lot like demons when they inhabit humans. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Don't trust the little kid who looks like he's in trouble for he will turn into Chuckie and you shall be the first to go in your attempt to save him. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

When you find evidence in the form of a book linking your neighbor to your sisters death you must stay in his house (that you just broke into) a read it first. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Your brother will turn you into a vampire against your will because he loves you and doesn't want to ever lose you; but start hanging with humans and he will join your evil boss in hunting you down! link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

When you almost die its actually called a 'near- life experience' not what we thought. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

In order to kill your imaginary friend you must shoot yourself in the cheek and that will blow your faux buddie's head off. I know what you're thinking, yes you will be harmed as well and bleed but don't worry just get some gauze and you'll be fine. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

When a gun barrel is in your mouth you only speak in vowels. link
Rating: 7 (+7/-0)

I know Tyler Durden and it has to be said he's a little nuts. link
Rating: 3 (+4/-1)

If you want someone to be determined and appreciate life, put a gun to their head, it will work wonders. link
Rating: 4 (+5/-1)

Going to support groups is a cure for insomnia. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

Scoffing is a perfectly, not at all annoying way to express one self verbally. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Even if you haven't brushed them in like 30 years, your teeth will still be pretty white...maybe that's the secret! link
Rating: 6 (+6/-0)

If your vampire boyfriend asks you to take a walk with him after a few days of not speaking to you...heads up, it will not end well. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

When all else fails throw rocks at your childhood home...oh wait there aren't enough. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

Forest is not smart but he knows what love is. link
Rating: 6 (+7/-1)

That Jenny is a handful. link
Rating: 6 (+6/-0)

Lt. Dan would rather die than have no legs and he will stay angry with you for quite some time for saving him. link
Rating: 1 (+3/-2)

So Simba didn't actually kill Mufasa...wait Simba is alive!?!? link
Rating: -3 (+0/-3)

I definitely want Sam in my corner, he will stay with you until the end...literally. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

If Frodo can't find a way, no one will. link
Rating: 1 (+2/-1)

Sam is definitely a better judge of character than Frodo.....wait why was Frodo chosen to do this again??? link
Rating: -1 (+1/-2)

I want a foot massage from Jules, he has a technique down and everything, he doesn't tickle or nothing. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Jules is not going to just hand over the case to your dumba** so don't even ask. However, be patient during his speech and you'll get $1,500 instead....jackpot! link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Make sure Vincent washes his hands thoroughly or he'll ruin the towels. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Do not say 'what' more than five times, even when you are double dared to, it can get aggrivating. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Giving a foot massage is no where near in the same ball park as sticking your tougne in a girls holiest of holies. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Your iPod will stay charged for 31 years but after that you'll have to pay 3 wet naps and a lighter for a charger. link
Rating: 13 (+15/-2)

Go west, it'll be all worth it. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

In order to write down what Eli has to say you're gonna need a LOT of paper... link
Rating: 3 (+4/-1)

Cat oil works just as well as chapstick. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

When Eli says the road is no place for you, listen he's right. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

It is not just a BOOK!!! link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

When Eli says he left his glasses at the spring do not bother to go back, he is a liar. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

Cannibals are very fond of their cats. link
Rating: 3 (+4/-1)

When you see a stranded woman in trouble and she tells you to go and that she doesn't want you to help her, you should go immediately. link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)

Doug is a common name. link
Rating: 6 (+7/-1)

Ruffies should definitely be called floories instead since that is where you would end up after taking them. Rappies is a great name as well. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

When you see three men with a baby and they clearly look like they had a long night just inquire about the kids name and be on your way. Even when they give you two different names its fine, really. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Phil, Stu, and Alan are the three best friends that anyone could ever have. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

You can get away with a lot with Mike Tyson but urinate in his pool and you will get punched in the face. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Doctors will tell you everything you want to know about your stay in the ER during the night before (for a fee) but ask for directions.....now you have to f*** off. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Texting is gay. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

The Joker does not let just any1 in his crew, you hav 2 try-out in a timely manner. link
Rating: -1 (+3/-4)

That I believe in Harvey Dent, inspite of his indescretions. link
Rating: -1 (+1/-2)