If chaos ensues in a house full of people it must be your youngest son's fault. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

All the best house burglars leave a mark, which is probably why they get caught. link
Rating: 6 (+6/-0)

Some French women don't shave their pits. link
Rating: 2 (+3/-1)

France doesn't have nude beaches in the winter. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

The family vacation would go a lot smoother if you didn't invite your cheapskate brother. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Automatic timers aren't a very safe deterrant. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

The Chicago police department is ragingly incompetant. No wonder a ten year-old has to resort to defending his own house against burglars. link
Rating: 5 (+6/-1)

Turning ordinary household objects into deadly traps is cute and entertaining, but the Ninja Turtles movie was inappropriate for minors. link
Rating: 4 (+5/-1)

Never say nap to a two year-old. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Your mom is probably a girl. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Knowing your two year-old son will get out of his play pen it's okay to just leave him to his devices. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Amy survived a backyard full of bugs while she was barely millimeters tall. College is probably no sweat. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

I'd be more concerned if your 16 year-old boy wasn't interested in girls. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

The laws of physics won't effect a baby that's suddenly thirty stories tall. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

There's no way Felicity is changing those diapers. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

The laws of physics won't effect a suddenly 80-foot tall adult woman either. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

When Einstein invented the Atomic Bomb they didn't ask for proof that it worked. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Fishing and weights aren't Russ Jr.'s thing. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Hitting a ball into someone's attic is their fault since they had their window closed on a nice day. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

Nick is on a special diet: No Toxic Waste. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

A shrink ray doesn't require that much power, apparently. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Shrink ray + Large Couch gone missing = Shrink Ray doesn't work. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Bees, ants and a scorpion are the only insects or arachnids you'll find in a backyard. link
Rating: 1 (+2/-1)

The Salinski's lawn looks like the Amazon. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

When your teenaged daughter is fighting for her life in a lawn that is basically the jungle, the biggest thing you need to worry about is the teenaged boy she's with. link
Rating: 6 (+6/-0)

Cars and tobacco products kill people everyday. At least guns come with a safety switch. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A fire drill is a great time to make out. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Offering to retile a guy's basement after you essentially hijacked him is good business. For that matter why didn't Martha Stewart think of that? link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Pterydactyl's "migrating" won't concern environmentalists at all. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

You can "speak" the language of the Velociraptors without having to actually know what you're saying. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

A twelve year-old in an island full of dinosaurs will last longer than guys armed to the teeth with every firearm that can be legally or illegally obtained. link
Rating: 6 (+6/-0)

There's absolutely no military enforcement keeping civilians from getting to an island that's supposed to be banned from humans. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

People claiming to be so rich that they'll write a check to fund your dig doesn't send up any red flags at all. Nope none at all. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

All fossils are rock. The fossils are just soft...hard...soft...hard...soft... link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

If going to the island is illegal, smuggling dinosaur eggs off of it is probably illegal too. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Saving Grant's lucky hat is the important thing. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

They are not real dinosaurs, just park monsters. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Your kid going missing on a dangerous island is a great way to get back with your wife. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Grant is the Dinosaur Man. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Ellie has a lot of clout. She can call the Navy at a moment's notice to save her best friend. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

A twelve year-old is smarter than both of his parents put together. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

Ian Malcom's book was very preachy and he seemed to be high on himself. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

You don't want to know how he got a hold of T-Rex pee. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

Rat isn't all that bad. What I want to know is what happened to all of the dogs and cats... link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The best rehabilitation for John Spartan was knitting. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Inspite of having no obvious military presence it's possible to keep the heavily armed "criminal" element on the run and hiding. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

The late 20th century has the technology to cryogenically freeze criminals, but they can't apply that same technology to terminally ill patients. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A rat burger and a beer is worth one futuristic watch. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

You can still become horribly overweight when the only food available is futuristic gumballs. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Nothing is worse for business than peace. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

There are more gun shops in America than McDonalds. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Network security and frequent psychiatric evaluations are not a requirement for ship crews. link
Rating: 2 (+3/-1)

If a hacker crashes the IRS database it *must* have been a man. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Would he really have knocked over the vase if she hadn't said anything about it? link
Rating: 0 (+2/-2)

Converted Jews are more Jewish than actual Jews. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The best part of Judaism is the hats. It reminds you that there is always something above. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Ava Fontain didn't know Yuri existed. He thinks she may have had a point. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The trouble with marrying your dream girl is she tends to become real. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

It's a bad idea go into this kind of business with someone who has a concience. Even if that person is your brother. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

1 out of every 12 men, women, and children is armed. The question is how do we arm the other 11? link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The US, Russia, UK, France and China are the biggest exporters of arms and they are also the five permanent members of the United Nations Security Council. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

They call it gun running for a reason. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

No lowly paid government official is brave enough to open a container marked radioactive waste. Apparently they won't even ask what you're doing with radioactive waste to begin with. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Beware of the Dog reminds you to beware of the dog in you. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When you can eat there for free and you still don't eat there, it's probably not going to be in business for very long. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Orderlies in criminal mental institutions frequently molest their patients. link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)

So if Einan has sex does Draco feel it? link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Why can't other movies give us an alternate ending without making us buy the DVD? link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When you get divorced in a small Alaskan town it's everyone's business. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

A typical roadtrip weekend consists of partying, hooking up and going wild. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Stealing a cop car, breaking into a school and getting high off Ritalin are "cooler" than playing "quarters". link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

A bunch of guys getting together in a hot tub is "male bonding." link
Rating: 7 (+7/-0)

A night of drinking in a hot tub will bring you to an 80's ski resort. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Doc Brown never mentioned his hot tub... link
Rating: 4 (+5/-1)

The 80's=Free Love. link
Rating: 1 (+2/-1)

In the 80's you could make money inventing "Match.com". link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Finding a girl without texting and going online is just exhausting. link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)

She needs a cool rider. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Apparently the Pink Ladies have always been the property of the T-birds...man would Rizzo be pissed. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

All women think about is reproduction. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Being related to a T-bird isn't enough to get you into the gang apprently. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A motorcycle is a good investment. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Guys today just don't have the threat of nuclear attack to get girls into a bunker for sex anymore. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Remember where your locker is and you'll be all right here. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

He's not smart, he just knows a few big words to impress English teachers. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If Terminators are powered by a nuclear core, which doesn't explain why radiation doesn't leak whenver one is destroyed... link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Grease is the word. link
Rating: 1 (+2/-1)

History can repeat itself. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

When you're a senior you rule the school. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

It's okay to stretch the truth about your romantic summer at the beach since you'll probably never see her again. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Your ex-boyfriend, described by a completely innocent stranger will sound like a drag. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

We "Went" together is not the same as "going" together. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Is it nessecary to slip a pill into the Coke of a girl who's practically throwing herself at you? link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Marty is a one woman USO. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Beauty school isn't what Frenchy thought it would be. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Joining a steno pool is preferable to being a high school drop out. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Frankie Avalon is Frenchy's guardian angel. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Screwing a guy you hardly know to get into a major dance is perfectly acceptable. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Castor Oil was the weapon of choice for school nurses in 1955. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

The FBI has experts that can identify people by their asses. link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)