If you get a package that is shaped like a broomstick, odds are that it's a broomstick. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Bulldogs have no rhythm. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Dead men do not buy dog food. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Stray animals can ride around on car rooftops without being noticed, mainly because weirder things have happened in New York City. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

School buses in New York City look more like school SUVs. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Cats prefer Cocoa Crispies over kitty food. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

New Yorkers aren't street-smart; they have "street savoir-faire". link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A dog can skillfully hotwire electronics by using nothing but his teeth. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

It's okay to blackmail rich people by kidnapping their pets, unless it's a seven-year-old. Then you're just mean. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Even cats are subject to gingerism. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

It's perfectly alright for a street bum to pal around with a seven-year-old girl. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Ball jokes are cross-culturally funny, even in cartoons. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Don't be a litterbug, unless you're talking about tempura. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Love Monster and Rock Star energy drinks? Thank a tanuki. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Swanky clubs in Tokyo are staffed entirely by transformed foxes. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Engorged balls make for perfect police-bashing implements... and for cringing in the male audience. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

At 999 years of age, no one cares if you start a Buddhist dancing cult. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

People usually enjoy parades; staging one is not the best method of scaring them. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If you don't take credit for your work, someone else will. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Even in the animal world men don't impersonate women very well. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Golf courses make for bittersweet endings. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Gallivanting around London with a total stranger is okay as long as he gave you cake beforehand. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Seamus's eyebrows wished he never found that IRA pamphlet. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Never trust a man in a turban? Rowling flushed her political-correctness right down the toilet. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

I'm not sure which is worse: troll bogies or cerebus slobber. It's not pretty, either or. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Hagrid couldn't appropriately name a thing even if his life depended on it. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

This movie lies; taking detailed notes in your first lecture really should impress your teacher. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Today's perfect casting calls make for interesting results after pubertis. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

You better be quick; chocolate frogs only got one good hop to them. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Dumping a recently orphaned child, whose parents' magic-wielding killer is on the run, with unarmed Muggles is perfectly safe. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Suddenly being able to talk to snakes is not the best kind of PR a boy wizard can get. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Lockheart and his Memory Charms should have remembered a bit more kinesiology. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Just as in the Muggle world, one can buy their way on to school sports teams. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Giant sentient spiders are great with loopholes. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

If you know your student uses a defective wand, the first thing you should do is cast a powerful memory charm with it. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

There is absolutely nothing suspicious about floating cupcakes. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

The Whomping Willow would like to kindly ask you to not drive bewitched Muggle contraptions into it. As it cannot talk, however, a proper ass-handing shall suffice. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Just because Hagrid sent you doesn't mean you get off that easy. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Wand-canes > sword-canes; no exceptions. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Endangering young children with cursed items is just a day in the life of Lucius Malfoy. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

To say that Myrtle overreacts is an understatement. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Being a paparazzi can save your life. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

I do believe that twelve is a bit young for Hermione to be learning about furries. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When your teachers don't teach, form a club that'll learn it all anyways. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Blasting family members off your enchanted tapestry is the best way to win the Mother of the Year award. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Seedy pubs are perfect places for not only going behind your teacher's back, but for foreshadowing as well! link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

I must not tell lies. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Wrackspurts don't care that you're supposed to be invisible; technically, they are too. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Yes, flying on a broom right over the Thames is perfectly acceptable when trying to be as discreet as possible. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Kreacher does not approve of your shenanigans. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Shoes tend to turn up in the most unlikely of places. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Dolores will have order! link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Muggles never notice anything, even when an extra house grows between them and the neighbors. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Convenient mistletoe knows when you want to score. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The least Filch could have done was invest in a security system... or a cherrypicker for that matter. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If this movie took place about fifteen years earlier, I'd swear Ray fell in love with Neverland. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

It’s okay to basically kick an actor in the teeth and replace him in his character’s return to the light with an actor from the future who just whined for two movies straight. Thanks computers. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also take down an AT-AT. link
Rating: 6 (+6/-0)

Leia didn’t know what kind of a fashion trend she was setting for female convention-goers everywhere when she started sporting that bikini. link
Rating: 2 (+3/-1)

Wookiees make excellent peace offerings to intergalactic mob bosses. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Mon Calamari are pros at stating the obvious. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Boba Fett was so badass that he defied the original script and lived anyways. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Luke must have made a stop on Earth before the final encounter and took fashion tips from Johnny Cash. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

It is fully possible to love two different men by the end of the movie, just as long as you love the one like the brother he is. link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)

You thought they smelled bad on the outside. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

Funny-looking Muppets are not to be trifled with. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Carbonite does not look fun to be trapped in. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Han Solo doesn’t need to hear your odds. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

When you make deals with one of the most evil and feared beings in the universe, you should know better than to trust he holds up his end of the bargain. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Asteroid fields make for great cover. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The best way to make your boyfriend jealous is to kiss your brother. link
Rating: 10 (+10/-0)

Hallucinating about decapitating a man who then becomes you is a point in your training you really shouldn’t ignore. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

It was a long time ago, but still somehow in the future…? Thanks Lucas. Thanks. link
Rating: 2 (+4/-2)

Merchandising rights aren’t important to retain at all. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Han shot first. link
Rating: 10 (+11/-1)

This is not the sarcastic comment you are looking for. You will scroll down to the next page. link
Rating: -2 (+1/-3)

No, I can’t really think about the more touching points of Ben and Luke’s relationship without thinking about the Family Guy special. Move along. link
Rating: 1 (+2/-1)

That’s no moon; they don’t have tractor beams, for one. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

If Stormtroopers are more precise than Sand People, then the latter mustn’t be able to make a kill at point-blank and aren’t really that much of a menace. link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)

Even heartless bastards will put aside concern for their own skins if it involves blowing up really big things. link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)

“Losing the will to live” is stronger than any futuristic robot medicine. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

A volcano planet? Alright, now you’re stretching it a little too far George. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Younglings are like fuzzy woodland creatures: they’re the most adorable right before they die. link
Rating: 3 (+4/-1)

Palpatine makes a much better large ham than he did as a calculating bastard. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

A perfectly badass female character will spiral into a stereotypical shocked damsel once she gets pregnant. link
Rating: 3 (+4/-1)

General Grevious being the most badass thing in the entire universe was not an aborted plot point, nor completely ignored at his “big battle”, no sir. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Really, the entire reason for going to the Dark Side was about wanting to do things for those you love while the Jedi want you to be a coldhearted bastard; makes total sense. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

You can survive sixth-degree burns and multiple battle-induced amputations no problem. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Mace Windu has had it with these mothereffing Siths in his mothereffing galactic government. link
Rating: 12 (+12/-0)

Never mess with an army of Wookies. Never. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

Best. Love story. Ever. *gag* link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

When it comes time to filling in the plot concerning the biggest intergalactic war the universe has ever seen, it’s best to leave it up to a couple of cartoon shows. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Kickass music doesn’t make up for the lack of presentable story; sorry Mr. Williams. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

It’s okay to break centuries of tradition and get married, despite the fact that you’re the Chosen One and whether or not that will end up to be a good or bad title won’t put you or your wife in danger at all is irrelevant. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The massacre of an entire tribe of primitive people, women and children included, is justified as long as it was vengeance for your mommy’s death. link
Rating: -1 (+1/-2)

Padmé was a pretty decent action character when she wasn’t making goo-goo-eyes at the kid she used to babysit. link
Rating: 3 (+4/-1)

Dooku and Yoda were pretty spry for old guys. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Watching his father’s decapitation won’t harm a child’s psyche one bit. link
Rating: 1 (+2/-1)

“Yippie” is just a typical exclamation for a little boy and will fit even the character of a future tyrant. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

It’s all about the midichlorians. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)