Because starting a movie with what happens in the end is so cool. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When your car doesn't start the first three times, you should just keep trying. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The girl you just kidnapped will totally believe you don't want to hurt her. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Kidnappers have amazingly straight moral compasses. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A rottweiler is a defenseless animal. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A car that just sustained front end damage will stay running and drivable. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

It is not a good idea to call the woman you kidnapped, and just escaped and trapped you, names. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Sitting in a chair while being hit by a car will save your life. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When you kill your best friend he turns into one of your extra personalities, helping to hide the bodies of your other victims. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When directing a 'horror' movie be sure focus on a chair that has nothing to do with the plot of the movie. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

After you listen to the voice in your head that tells you to kill your older brother you should then kill your parents- that way they won't be mad you killed your brother. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Walking through an asbestos infested building will have no ill effects as long as your just 'looking' around. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When your blood-covered uncle is running at you, just stand there waiting for a hug. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

It's a good idea to finish a hazards material clean up that should take three weeks in one week. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When an accident causes your wife to spill a pot of boiling water on your leg you should kill her, you daughter and your dog. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Only weak people go crazy. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When trying to blow up/kill someone, thinking bigger is thinking better. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

You might want to wear a parachute while skydiving. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

One should always yell something really cheesy before jumping out of a plane. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Teenagers are allowed to skydive for charity. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Wearing all the approved inline skating protection makes you look cool. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

When your construction crew finds a giant manhole shaped metal disk buried in the earth, you should lift it up before you know what it is. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

When teleporting using alien technology be sure you’re in an open public park. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

When you trap a morphological being in a hyper lock chamber, burry his world dominating Ecto-Morphicons somewhere close by. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The only side effect from living with an exposed brain is an uncontrollable need to be an evil villain. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Zedd spent 2000 years searching for a tub of snot (that could turn into a human shape.) link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Teenagers have an odious stench about them. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

You ooze you lose. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

While fighting ooze-men in the middle of a giant sandbox a white outfit will stay remarkably clean. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Almost nobody can enter the command center without a power coin. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Dementors are a gardeners worst nightmare. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

It takes 12 years for a mad man to realize he can slip through the bars of his cell. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Loss of limb will not excuse you from homework, however a scratch from a hippogriff will. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

When an animagus transforms into their animal form they lose their clothes, but magically reacquire them after transforming back into a human. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Insulting a hippogriff may very well be the last thing you ever do. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

A golden Snitch can survive a lightening strike, a quidditch player- not so much. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

To open a Care of Magical Creatures book you stroke the spine. (Unless You’re Nevel, you just have to hope it’s a good mood.) link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Chocolate will make you feel better. (Even after reliving your parent’s murders.) link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

You can’t be magic and human at the same time… OMG! Harry Potter isn’t human? link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

When you find a spell and you have no earthly idea what it does the best way to test it out is during battle. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)