Kids with abusive and powerful parents are destined to end up as super villains. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If The Dark Knight had five Jokers instead of one, it would not have been five times better. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Anyone can walk deep inside police headquarters carrying a big, suspicious box and no one will stop them. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Video games = evil. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If Jackie Chan's in a movie, better expect his partner and every villain to be an expert at parkour. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Even though you had a hand in her brother's death, your girlfriend will only be upset at you for missing her birthday. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The best way to handle five super villains is to get them to kill one-another. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The only thing more frightening to a super villain than a large SWAT team force led by Jackie Chan is mom and dad. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If you're in jail and all the super villains are visiting you, don't say a word to any police. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If your bus driver gets shot and the bus is barreling out of control, don't make any effort to take the wheel and press on the brakes. Better wait for someone else to jump in the bus and do it for you. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If a group of criminals executes a vicious bank robbery, always announce on TV that you know where they are and that you'll be there within three hours. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Never rat out the group of wanted super villains who visit you while you're in jail and are within earshot of at least one police guard. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

In a team of four guys and one girl, the girl is always the screw-up. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

It takes 20 years to forget what your trench-coat looked like. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The hero police officer is always the one most frequently written-up. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

You're not a true marksman until you can shoot two guns at once, with perfect accuracy, while jumping through the air. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Heroes always choose to kill the villains vs. help the innocent girl escape the country to receive much-needed surgery. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If you're a hitman, always get paid up front. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Holding a mercenary hostage isn't good leverage to use against a triad leader. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If someone literally gets scared to death during a hostage situation, it's the police officer's fault. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Even though he tried to scam you with fake money in order to shoot you in the head, your best friend still loves you, really. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Nicknames invented on-the-fly to refer to events that never happened, stick. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

There's a reason why assassins always wear sunglasses. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If you have one last job it'll literally always be your very last job. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Happy endings are for the birds...well, the doves, to be specific. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Your ability to count diminishes as you get older. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

MMA > WWE link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Your contact in a foreign country is always both single and incredibly hot. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Jet Li's kicks will only hurt if he wears steel-tipped shoes. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Soldiers who lose their soul end up as tattoo artists. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Waterboarding really is torture. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Italian girlfriends > Swedish girlfriends. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

No matter where you hide the Swedes will always find you. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

George Clooney can do more push-ups than you. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The prostitute always has a heart of gold. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

So long as she's the hero's love interest, the prostitute has absolutely no imperfections and can double as a super model. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If you're in Italy you're guaranteed to befriend at least one priest. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Italians in the presence of an American will switch seamlessly between Italian and English. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Maybe it's not a good idea to let the guy you're going to kill make the weapon you're going to use... link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

If you're going to take photographs in Italy, better read up on your Italian history. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If at first you don't succeed, keep sending more Swedish hitmen. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Small town waiters like to hover. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

People in China live to be over 400 years old. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

If you see an Asian guy sitting on a plane that's taking off toward Beijing, don't assume he speaks even basic Chinese. link
Rating: 1 (+2/-1)

Fly guts taste delicious with noodles. link
Rating: -2 (+1/-3)

A park full of 12 year olds has no parents or adults around. link
Rating: 2 (+3/-1)

A lot of Westerners attend Chinese schools. link
Rating: 1 (+2/-1)

The ice cream in China is delicious. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Blue fire can heal all wounds. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

Jackie Chan doesn't approve of the word "ass." link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

If you promise to be the loudest applauder in the audience, don't sit next to Dre's mom. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Kung Fu tournament officials will give you a warning if you run off the mat but won't flinch at unrestrained brutality. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

If a woman walks into a men's bathroom, anyone inside will expect a little "something something." link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

Americans don't stick up for each other during school yard fights. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

There's nothing weird about an old man beating up a group of 12 year olds. link
Rating: 1 (+2/-1)

Even though the male klowns will kill you and drink your blood, running into one is probably still preferable to running into the females. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

It's okay to get hit in the face with alien pies so long as you're one of the heroes. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Klowns like to spend too much time in convenience stores. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If you're an advanced alien species attacking Earth, never cover up your weak point. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

If Haley's comet lands in your backyard, you're gonna be rich! link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Ivan watches too much Predator. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Technology expos can attract as many hot women as geeky guys. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Despite the fact that nuclear weapons are still infinitely more powerful, the presence of the iron man suit can bring about world peace. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

All Russian badasses are named Ivan. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

An Iron Man suit's walkie talkie has better firewall protection than everything else about it. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

Always invite your douchebag competitor who tries to sabotage you at every opportunity to debut his new product line at your expo--and never have anyone check those products out beforehand either. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

There's nothing as scary sounding yet perfectly harmless as an ex-wife. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Donuts are the perfect hangover cure. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Queens is the new Manhattan. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Journalists like to do spreads. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

You're in a foreign country and the three people closest in the world to you don't know you're going to spontaneously try your hand at racecar driving. Your arch-nemesis in Russia, however, knew this weeks in advance, allowing him to plot an elaborate plan of attack. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Always give the guy who tried to kill you advice on how to make his weapons even more powerful. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

"Crossing the streams" solves all epic problems. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Kids these days curse. A lot. link
Rating: 3 (+4/-1)

The head villain is always better at hand-to-hand combat than any of his minions. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Always kill the super villain's son. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

If you get mugged, you're gay. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Knife beats club, car beats knife. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Super heroes and serial killers have a lot in common. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

Super villains enjoy pigging out on snacks in the theatre. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Nobody messes with geeks so long as they have a rich friend. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

A teenager with Internet access would rather visit National Geographic type websites to get himself off than actual porn websites. link
Rating: 2 (+3/-1)

Humanity cheers suicide jumpers so long as they're dressed in bright colors. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Be glad you didn't date the girl with ELEVEN evil exes. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Behold, a video game movie not based on a video game. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Seven isn't always a lucky number. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Never assume that all of a girl's exes are male. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Pain feels less painful when it has funny sound effects added. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Just because a girl is standing alone at a party doesn't mean she hasn't been around the block. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If a scary looking man with two lightning whips is on your race track, RUN HIM OVER, don't pass by and wait to see what happens. link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)

A bulky guy whose frame takes up half the race track can easily sidestep a racecar driving a gazillion miles an hour and has the agility to strike it at the precise moment to break it in half. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Sharks like blood. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Super villains are content to just sit and watch. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Super heroes must have super entrances. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

People who box are eccentric. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

There's more than one Scarlett Johansson. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

People don't believe in gods who can bleed...that's why no one believes in Jesus. link
Rating: -1 (+2/-3)

People will believe in gods who are showy womanizers, though. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

If you're working with dangerous technology, saying you know exactly what you're doing will inevitably lead to a huge explosion. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Sam Jackson doesn't approve of your textbook narcissism. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)