There's only one police officer in all of Philadelphia. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Note to Peter Jackson: 3D doesn't mean "divided by three." link
Rating: 1 (+2/-1)

Always check your pocket before guessing what's in someone else's. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Tolkien loves Deus Ex Machina. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Always spare the powerful enemy captain when your unstoppable aerial reinforcements arrive. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

It's never the right time to use your invisibility ring. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

One dragon can take out a million billion dwarves. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

When there's something strange, in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? Not the elves! link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

It takes a long time to exchange pleasantries with Gandalf. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Wizard staffs are the original laser etching tool. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

If you're serving a dwarf a salad, blue cheese is not the right dressing. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Dwarves make great warriors, craftsmen and lawyers. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

A hunk of wood will outperform even the most powerful dwarven shield. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Watch your butt if you're a troll fighting a group of dwarves. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Elves are the original vegans. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Nothing's worse than listening to another Sarumon lecture. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

No one ever remembers the blue wizards. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Always take out your brightly glowing blade while trying to stay hidden. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

It's hard to tell if Gollum is solving a riddle or if he's constipated. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Bilbo doesn't ask fair riddles. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

One man's letter opener is another man's sword. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Even as an elderly servant, Samuel L. Jackson is a scary mofo. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

When someone dies, make sure to carefully preserve their skull; it might make an excellent presentation prop one day. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

If you one-up a dangerous opponent who hates losing, don't rub it in. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

"The 'D' is silent." link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

"White cake" is the preferred dessert of slaveowners. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Just because it's emphasized that a character was formerly a dentist doesn't mean he'll ever actually use his dentistry skills. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

A mentor isn't responsible for the way his student dresses. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Nothing freaks out 19th century Southerners more than black people on horses. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

No one treated slaves worse than the Australians. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Don't volunteer to make the masks if you're a KKK member's wife. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Alexander Dumas wasn't white. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

3D finally has a purpose. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

It's easy to get names as similar as "Thirsty" and "Richard Parker" confused. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

When you're starving, an island full of meercats is like an all-you-can-eat buffet. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Nothing's as satisfying as watching an orangutan b**ch-slap a hyena. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

An island whose waters turn to acid by night will still have fish swimming there in the day. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The most important theological question of the film: can gravy be considered a meat? link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Nothing's worse than being stuck on a ship with a French chef. Even a tiger would make better company. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Bananas don't float--or maybe they do? Anyone have one handy? link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Never challenge a tiger to a pissing contest. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

People from the future give the best travel advice. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Sometimes killing everyone is the best way to fix a problem. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Action scenes always look better from a first-person perspective. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Scars are the new messenger pigeons. link
Rating: 2 (+3/-1)

The key to becoming the ultimate badass is to spend 30 years causing trouble in China. link
Rating: 1 (+2/-1)

It's hard to outsmart someone who remembers everything you do. link
Rating: 1 (+2/-1)

There's one major disadvantage to hiding a gun between your legs... link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Even time travelers hate talking about time travel paradoxes. link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)

There's an inverse relationship between love and the amount of money someone spends for you on a birthday cake. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Always keep a black guy handy in case you ever get into trouble. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Black defendants can only be represented by black lawyers. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Police officers suck at Photoshop. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A simple contract for a corporate merger can be written in under five minutes at a restaurant. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Russia is the worst place in the world to strike it rich. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When a tycoon makes a speech about realizing what's important in life, you know he's in big trouble. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

World events revolve around five things: "M. O. N. E. Y." link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Rich people don't eat at Applebees. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

They don't make sand castles like they used to. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

If a girl opens her jacket and says "49.95" in a department store, she may not be a prostitute. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

I want Philip Seymour Hoffman to officiate my wedding, too. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Joaquin Phoenix needs no fancy pick-up lines. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When near a cult leader, never drink the lemonade. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Paint thinner is the new cough syrup. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Adding "Pig f-ck" to the end of your argument gives you an automatic win. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Why see a therapist when you can just repeat your name 30 times in a row? link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

It's hard to get your verbs right when writing holy texts. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When speaking with the most unpredictable and violent zealot in the room, always give your honest opinion about his mentor's teachings. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

In photography it's very hard to get the lighting just right. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Girls will move on if you promise to come back and never do. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Always watch out for babies while you bike. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

It takes a few moments to realize you've been shot in the head. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

If you need to inform a fellow courier that they're going to the wrong address, don't go through dispatch or tell them directly. These matters are best handled through a bike race. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

After a certain point, even the most persistent police officer will throw in the towel. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Always save your old movie tickets. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If you need to secretly pack up tens of thousands of dollars and your roommate is already suspicious that you're acting strangely, leave your door wide open. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

In this economy, working three jobs is the American dream. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

It takes 14 minutes to cover yourself with gasoline and light yourself on fire. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Stark knows Loki's personality a little too well. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

It's easier to break out of a super-prison while it's falling from the sky than it is while it's sitting in place. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

"Kneel Before Loki!" doesn't sound as cool as "Kneel Before Zod!" link
Rating: 1 (+2/-1)

Tony Stark has an app for that. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Even in a modern/futuristic setting people still play Galaga. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Never take the opportunity to escape, even when your captors are fighting amongst themselves. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Always judge a god by how well he dresses. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Negotiating with a boot never ends well. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

If you're around a guy named 'Hawkeye' always make as many bird puns as possible. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

In his present form, the only girl in a high school to find Channing Tatum attractive is the teacher. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Johnny Depp is a really good actor. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Being involved in a massive shoot-out, making a citizen's arrest and ruining a DEA investigation will get you your job back after being fired. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The worst time to attack is when you're in a tree with a pouch of daggers and all your enemies are asleep below. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Always sympathize with the districts that let their 12-year olds go off to battle without anyone else volunteering to take their place. link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)

If your son's last name is Mario, the best first name to give him is also Mario. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

The best gift to give an angry dog is another dog. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Train stations are no place for children. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

A secret message from Ben Kingsley is just as good as a secret message from your late dad. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Even if you were adopted by a well-known uncle, you can still get sent to the orphanage under the right circumstances. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Pregnancy doesn't always work in 9-month cycles. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

People escape from escapism during war situations. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Heels are made from the souls of great movies. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)