You think movie stars don't have feelings. Well you're wrong, they're actors, they have all of them! link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

In the 90's plastic surgery was like good grooming. Like brushing your teeth. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Angela Lansbury's Monique's mother! No wait...Shelly Winters is Monique's mother! Uhh no Sean Connery is Monique's mother! No, Sean Connery is Monique's boyfriend! He may be three hundred years old, but he's still a stud! link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

A leading lady Oscar is bound to say "I beat Meryl" on it. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Don't get mad. Get everything. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Bette Midler has a waist. And legs. Who knew? link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The Japanese apparently have enough. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Shorts apparently need ironing and starching. And this has to be done with supervision. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Lesbians are great nowadays. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

When glancing at the blind spot, you check with your head. Not the whole car! link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Would you hurry up and KISS the girl already? link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

A world fair is great for hiding spaceships in plain sight. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

It's hard to drive in platforms. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

It's okay to pause at stop signs. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A Calvin Klein dress can look like underwear. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Standing in line for forty minutes is hardly aerobically effective. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Ren and Stimpy are way existential. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The PC term for virgin is "hymenally challenged." link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

In some parts of the universe, maybe not in contempo-casual, but in some parts, it's considered cool to know what's going on in the world. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Skateboards are like so five years ago. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A girl that's a full-on Monet is like a painting that looks okay far away but up close, it's a big old mess. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

It does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Cher and Dionne are both famous singers of the past who now do infomercials. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Legs crossed towards each other is body language that says: unequivocal sex invite. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Leprosy isn't funny. link
Rating: -1 (+2/-3)

When shooting someone, make sure both eyes are open for better aim. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)