Don't worry old lady. The crazy man who charmed every other person into going underwater with him and never resurfaced is quite the good guy. Five year old's promise. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Not all vampires are white. link
Rating: 12 (+13/-1)

Asians go with Asians for all purposes of love. link
Rating: 1 (+8/-7)

If you use your superhero pose often enough, it will eventually work. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

If someone's stomach lights up and rings, you should continue to stare at their stomach and find out what happens next. link
Rating: 10 (+10/-0)

Butter is the solution to everything, from cooking to sacrifical offerings at museums. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

If the world ever floods, an octopus will very discreetly steal your shoes. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Machiavelli's 'The ends justify the means' is always a bad idea. Except when it's a good idea. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Horcruxes are perfectly safe in any other movie. link
Rating: 6 (+6/-0)

One ninth of any given genius' mind is a female. link
Rating: 9 (+9/-0)

Machines of peace make war weapons. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Never let anything that makes war weapons become sentient. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Elijah Wood will only play a scrappy hero. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Your soulmates will always come back from the dead to walk away from you. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Whispering 'That was foreshadowing' every time there is foreshadowing is a good way to get hit in the face with Sugar Babies. link
Rating: 3 (+4/-1)

'Luquid luck' is code for 'getting unspeakably high.' link
Rating: 22 (+22/-0)

Real heroes save your life by throwing you in garbage. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

A hero doesn't care if you're a bunch of dirty alcoholic bums. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

You can outrun a flood in a subcompact car. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

If your boyfriend dumps you, you will scream uninterruptedly at night for three months and your father will only be moderately annoyed. link
Rating: 14 (+15/-1)