When you're being pursued by assassins with guns, wait until you're in a safe place before you glance down at your phone you moron. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

An EMP blast only destroys batteries. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

Submarines carry a stockpile of replacement cell phone batteries. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

Shoes are difficult to disintegrate. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

The aliens are able to float unless presented with a choice between molotov cocktails and a puddle of water. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

No matter what the global crisis is, Americans are in charge. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

There are no convenient store rooms in the US Embassy for people to lock themselves away in. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

In Russia, the definition of Faraday Cage is much more forgiving. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

The aliens can be killed by pieces of their own armor. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Locked in a store room for 4 days and nobody has to poop the whole time. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Small glass bulbs do not shatter when you throw them on a concrete floor. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Glass is an insulator, but a leather jacket is not. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

For being super advanced, the aliens don't seem to know when they are giving themselves away. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

It is quicker to dig far into the earth for conductive metals than to just harvest the various cars, electronic devices, streetlights, air conditioners, etc. that have been conveniently left on the surface of the planet. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

If you fall into the water with a bunch of lethal voltage capacitors slung on your back, it's no big deal. The laws of physics actually take a lunch break here. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Russians have stockpiles of hurricane fencing lying around for easy transport. They're also really light weight and one person could lug many of them up 20 flights of stairs. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

Civilians are allowed to hang out in the operations room on a nuclear submarine, because they are useful in strategic planning. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Using a word too often is an indicator that you do not understand what it means. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Van Damme does not want to be disturbed. Take your spousal abuse somewhere else. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When faced with non-compliance, a hitman will escalate directly from 1 verbal warning to 7 punches to the face and body. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Hookers are adept at finding secret doors. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Some hitmen are easily distracted from their own self-preservation by overturned turtles. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The sanity of Van Damme's assassination methods are inversely proportional to the money paid for the hit. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A one-handed crossbow is not an effective drive-by weapon. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Security cameras often capture video in high definition photo quality with rich colors. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Santa Clause was tortured and killed by the mafia. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If you are unable to locate a criminal fugitive, the best solution is to let more people out of prison. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Everything in Russia is red. Even their night vision. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

As a special forces officer, Clooney has a lot of experience in train derailment forensics. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

When the Russians need something done right, they hire a German. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Getting shot cannot wait until tomorrow. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

There are no police in Vienna. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

The spy satellites pick up the train about to crash into the other train, but they don't pick up the third train with the night vision ninjas stealing warheads. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A diplomat can enter the US with a nuclear bomb without even the most basic security check. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

When you're chasing down a guy who has a bomb, try and think ahead. You might need some BOMB DISPOSAL tools when you catch him. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

To disarm a nuclear warhead primary charge, simply pry a piece of the cover off. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Having people leave the building is useless if the blast radius of the bomb is 10 blocks. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

In a town with no black population, the white man will still find someone to oppress. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

Alaskan Huskies are undetectable by amphibious monsters. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Arbitrary monster DNA is compatible with human DNA. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Old guys have 'antique' manners. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A bolt-action rifle is capable of holding 30 rounds with no magazine. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

There are only 2 rifles in the town of Noyo. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The Sheriff only uses his pistol to break up fights. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If a monster has a giant exposed brain, there's a pretty good chance that area is a weak spot. The people in this film have not played enough Konami games, clearly. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If you're going to fall to your death, make sure the fall ends really painfully. Oh nevermind I was thinking of the original film, not this piece of shit. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

In the future, digital video must still be hand delivered on a disk to a broadcast station. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

There are no police in the park. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If a girl yells at you it's because something else is bothering her, not because you're a useless douchebag. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When retiring to a peaceful retreat away from the world, do not choose Burma. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

No matter where on the Earth he goes, John Rambo cannot escape the inevitable rescue mission. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Animals are allowed in carry-on luggage. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A well-funded and connected bio-terrorist can't afford a secure underground lab, and instead must subject his super important operation to the constant risk of exposure by working out of his apartment. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

There is a huge deficit of flashlights, and other portable illumination devices at LAS. Also there's apparently no emergency lights in the baggage area. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When the plane is making a crash landing, you should keep ahold of your laptop to prevent it from getting separated from your corpse. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

All flight attendants are super hot. And all pilots are old and strange-looking. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

LAS has only one guy directing planes on the tarmac. Looks like this economic crisis is hitting everywhere. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The fat zombie leaves the jet's bathroom covered in slime and blood, but he manages to escape the bathroom without leaving any evidence on the outside of the door. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The airport is located walking distance from the strip. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

There are only 2 cops in the city on active duty during the daytime. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Andrew can pull apart pieces of a spider, and can pull teeth out of someone's mouth, but can't pull the disease out of his dying mother. link
Rating: -4 (+1/-5)

Even after you discover you have incredible super powers that allow you to destroy anyone and anything, you'll still be preoccupied with the tedium of keeping a video camera around to record everything. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

When you're trying to get a girl to see that you're interested in her, don't look directly at her, and respond to text messages from other people while she's talking to you. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

You can throw cops and SWAT guys around with telekinesis as much as you want, as long as you don't draw a weapon they won't shoot you. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

A firefighter's suit actually does not protect you from fire. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

You can totally go about the rest of your schoolday like nothing happened after ripping out someone's teeth in front of a bunch of witnesses. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

If you fail to land a punch, you should fly out the nearest window to acknowledge your defeat. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Andrew waits until just after Matt arrives at the hospital before dropping his father, rather than dropping him immediately while there's no one around to save him. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Raves are filled with jealous and violent boyfriends. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Cheerleaders are creeped out by video cameras, not by creepy people staring at them. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The mullet is making a comeback. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The reporter's portable camcorder is magical. It can do full motion 12 megapixel video, and it can also see around things while staying in one place. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When someone is having a heart attack, leave your small child to babysit the dying person while you go get help. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The light from heaven is kept in a box in an Asian antique shop. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The Koreans had surface to surface missiles 500 years ago. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The flashback contains a flashback. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

News reporters are allowed to roam around the police station taking pictures of anything they want. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Football players are rapists. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Do not be rude to a black nurse or else you'll be killed by a dragon. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Los Angeles has only 1 pair of detectives. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

A dragon tattoo can be mistaken for an infectious disease. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

If you collapse from being shot, usually it goes away after a few seconds and you can get back up. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

When you're trying to shoot someone and they hold up a shield, try shooting them somewhere that isn't covered by the shield. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Yeah real good, leave the black guy who got electro-punched by Spawn to die on the side of the road. "I'm sure Bruce is fine." link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

American audiences cannot get enough of the shape-shifting CGI gimmick from 1996. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Prostitution will be legal in space. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Gravity only exists where there's oxygen. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

It's more cost effective to put a criminal in a spacesuit, connected to an air processor, floating in a zero gravity room, than to just put him behind bars. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

In the future, shotguns are the only firearms that exist. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Doctors know that some guys just like to slap hookers around. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Shepard is able to smuggle 2 assassins with shotguns on to the mining facility, so they can have a totally not-low-profile gunfight with O'Neal, but he can't smuggle some measly poison into O'Neal's food. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

There are no spiders on Io. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Decompression elevators have no emergency override. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If your child doesn't eat his breakfast, knock out some of his teeth. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

NYPD snipers leave their safety off at all times. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Russians typically transport items by flying all the way around the bottom of the planet. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Serving tea while blindfolded is a critical part of martial arts training. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

When someone is grieving over their dead son, it's totally okay to solicit their teaching services. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The final test of a Ninjitsu student is pulling themself up from the splits while tied to a tree. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The only Muay Thai fighter is a white guy. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)