If your dad says he's going out for scratchers, he ain't coming back. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

We'll never know what happened to that first mouse. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Guy Pearce likes to show off his Big Brain. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Only Tony Stark can turn christmas ornaments into grenades. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The Vice President does not plan on sending F-22's. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The greatest gift for christmas is desperation. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Tony Stark's official name is: You Know Who I Am link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

You know you have too much money when you can can casually take apart your home in order to make way for a giant stuffed bunny. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Fortune cookies are not Chinese. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

In the future you can still smoke 70 year old cigars link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Was it really the best idea to bring an entire human being into your space station when your psycho girlfriend flipped after seeing a flower link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Sally is just Hal-9000 in pyramid form link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Someone must have watched a marathon of Moon, A Space Odyssey: 2001, and Wall-E and said "Hey! I've got an idea for a movie!" link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Duct-Tape fixes everything. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

There's a waitress who works weekends named Jan. Would have been shorter. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Only Batman can escape a nuclear explosion in the middle of the ocean within 5 seconds. link
Rating: 2 (+3/-1)

Batman f***'s Miranda. Later, Miranda f***'s Batman. link
Rating: 3 (+4/-1)

Worst tour guide ever. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A teddy bear is afraid of falling and landing softly on the ground. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

You can save the world, but forget the eggs. link
Rating: 1 (+3/-2)

Nobody likes Aunt May's meatloaf. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

A $15 ribeye is the best thing for a busted jaw. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

In New York you can add a penny, but you can't take a penny. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Peter Parker puts his name on everything. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

When you finally find people in the desert, charging them with your severed limb and stating that you chopped it off is not the best way to start a conversation. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Purchasing and making home-made repairs on a rickety old house over-looking a man-eating leech infested lake is a fantastic decision. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Instead of punching your friend's new friend, punch her big cookie. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The best way to get your point about being overshadowed by your best friend because it's their wedding across is to destroy every object in sight and waste large amounts of food. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Monkey habitats are a lot like todays prison systems. You have the new guy who gets beaten, guards, an exercise yard, daily meals, daily showers, the large prisoner who is always kept in isolation, males turned gay due to the non-existent account of females, a warden, visiting hours and occasional mass riots. link
Rating: 6 (+6/-0)

Remakes are terrible. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Aliens with the ability to travel with interstellar technology and weaponry that far supersede our own find that the most effective way to kill an enemy is to bite them. link
Rating: 5 (+5/-0)