Always remember the five D's of Dodgeball. Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and....Dodge. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Eight years of softball will turn you into an awesome dodgeball player. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Everyone at Globo Gym is better than you and they know it. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If a dodgeball player is dressed like a pirate, there will always be one teammate that never notices. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

When he's not training for the Tour de France, Lance Armstrong loves watching obscure sports on ESPN 8: The Ocho. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Unless there are hot chicks in bikinis, car washes are not a good way to raise money. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Beaming is more trouble than it's worth. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Don't hire Assholes for any job. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When the only two lunch menu options are the soup or the special, always go with the soup. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

1980s style music will eventually make a comeback. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Joan of Arc is not Noah's wife. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

The Old West is just like Frontierland. Except you can get shot there. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Whatever Billy the Kid wins, he keeps. Whatever you win, Billy the Kid keeps. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

"How's it going, royal ugly dudes?" is not a good first greeting. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Counting to ten in Greek is a good way to calm down. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Never throw your banana peel into the middle of the road. It can cause death. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Donkey Kong is the best videogame ever. If you don't agree with that, you suck. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When reviewing practice questions for an important test, ask your girlfriend to take off an article of clothing as a reward for each right answer. You'll never flunk again. It also works with the bus driver. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

There is nothing more hilarious than leaving a flaming bag of dog shit on your neighbor's porch. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

It's wise to inspect your Halloween candy for poison before indulging in it. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

VCRs are not a good place to store cookies. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

If you can't sing or dance, boxing is the only alternative left for you. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Pirate scoundrels are more likely to find romance than clean-cut blacksmiths. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Before making decisions, it's wise to properly differentiate guidelines from actual rules. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Not all treasure is silver and gold. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

This Island Earth can be yours if the price is right. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The "Rabbit Season, Duck Season" trick will work on any toon. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Jessica Rabbit is not bad. She's only drawn that way. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Wanted criminals enjoy picking fights for no reason. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

A long time ago, almost everyone spoke with a British accent. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Steroids can affect your hearing ability. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Some insults are so great that they can be remembered thirty years later. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Retired broken down boxers like to hang out at Italian restaurants. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If you're planning to camp outdoors in the Rocky Mountains, always remember to bring extra gloves. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The Rocky Horror Picture Show is often mistaken for a boxing movie. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Boobs are like smart bombs. When pointed in the right direction, shit gets real. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When someone bosses you around, talk like a pirate to keep your stress level down. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If a shark kills your son, slap the chief of police. You'll feel better. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

The only thing that can kill a monstrous shark dead under the water is the same thing that keeps humans alive underwater. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The Mayor of a town facing a severe threat of shark attacks will completely ignore the problem until the shark swims up and bites his ass. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

After pouring down a dozen shots of hard liquor, just wait twenty minutes and you'll be sober and ready to do it again. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

God doesn't appreciate ghost stories. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Everyone will go to God's heaven someday except non-believers, homosexuals and people that vote Democrat. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Science hasn't proven anything. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Always fade out in a montage. If you do, it seems like extra time has passed. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Cuba Gooding Jr. is way better than Ben Affleck. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Kim Jong-il is really ronery. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

Don't try to lure children out of the house by pretending to work for Santa Claus. You might get shot in the groin. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

It only takes twenty minutes to set up elaborate booby traps around your house and cook dinner. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Packing suitcases can be a terrifying task for a child. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Burglars are scared of churches. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The creepiest guy in the neighborhood is usually the nicest one. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

God didn't make John Rambo. Colonel Trautman made him. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Life is about finding your own Death Star. Even if it means breaking and entering. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

William Shatner can score anything because he's William Shatner. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Even in real life, light speed will not work the first time. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Staying in cold weather long enough can cause your snot to freeze up. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

It's possible to win a bet by vowing not to gamble. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Never bother someone who is using the pay phone. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Blind children are gullible. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If you jog in place while riding in the passenger seat of a vehicle, it makes you feel that you're running at an incredible rate. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Small dogs love the foot-long. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Even psychopaths are excited to hear about promotions within the police force. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Don't bother using your brain to make decisions. The coin always knows best. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

Shotguns are standard tools for bank employees. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Throwing a rock at your friend's forehead is a great way to impress the ladies. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Every man dies. Not every man really lives. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

The movie was a success. Therefore, Borat was not executed. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

The best way to show your support for the United States is by singing the national anthem of a different country. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Borat's suit is black. Not! link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Citizens of Kazakhstan will fall in love with the first American woman they see on television. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Subtitles scare more people than horror movies. Reading = Evil! link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

The reason we fall is so we can learn to pick ourselves up. link
Rating: 4 (+4/-0)

Batman prefers vehicles with manual transmission. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

One shot of whiskey is enough to knock you out cold. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Being extremely lucky is reason enough to have your own museum. link
Rating: 0 (+1/-1)

Nobody calls Marty McFly chicken. Yet they all do. link
Rating: 1 (+2/-1)

Pepsi is still popular in 2015. Thank goodness for that. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

In the 1950's, everybody fell for the "Look over there!" trick. link
Rating: 2 (+3/-1)

If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Bullies and their targets tend to repeat exact same conversations thirty years later. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

If you ask a cafe server for directions, he'll get annoyed and ask you what you want to order. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

If an anaconda swallows you, it will give you an opportunity to perform your best impression of Han Solo in carbonite. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If you injure yourself early in a horror movie, you just might live to see the end. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Never look into the eyes of someone you kill. They will haunt you forever. Sarone knows. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If things seem a bit too easy, there is probably a trap somewhere nearby. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Chief Sterns does not have an "off the record" record. Someone should have made a record of that. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

All the good turtles have their names ending in "o". link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Someone once thought Vanilla Ice was cool enough to be given his own show-stopping musical number in a Ninja Turtles movie. Nobody has seen this person since. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Most history books won't tell you this, but nearly every major battle began with the traditional pre-fight doughnut. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

You would be way better off staying at the Hilton than at the Turtles' home. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Michaelangelo does not understand science talk. It has to be translated into English by Donatello. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Raphael's favorite television show is Oprah. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Monsters destroying the city does not bother the elderly. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

That wasn't Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant at Wrestlemania III. That was Tokka and Rahzar. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

No matter who you are or where you are, there is always time for pizza. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Thieves can sometimes mistake pizza delivery guys for night security. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

After you bash someone's head with a golf club, you will never call the sport dull ever again. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

April has a crush on Harrison Ford. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)