Before fixing a cup of coffee, be sure that the coffee can contains coffee. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

If you want to prove that your dad is dead, just cut both of his hands and hand them over to the police. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

"June" is not always a month of the year. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Even when your dad is dead, he can reveal your darkest secrets and screw a dinner. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A tsunami wave runs faster than people. link
Rating: -1 (+0/-1)

Your boss can fire you because you don't have kids. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

When you are paring up in cooking classes, you will ALWAYS get the hottest girl. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Charles Dickens is not an old relative. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

It is not cool seeing dead people when you touch another person's hand. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

If you want to know a girl's secrets, ask her dead relatives. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

Matt Damon's favorite beer is Heineken. link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0)

A predator can resist an explosion of 10 grenades, but can be killed with an axe. link
Rating: 6 (+6/-0)

If you have a mean machine gun, don't use it to kill the meanest predator, better fight him with an axe naked. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

If you want to kill a guy that is giving his back to you and there is a sniper rifle on the ground, don't use it. Better try to kill him with a scalpel. link
Rating: -1 (+1/-2)

If you have a laser weapon, don't use it, better fight with swords. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

If someone has to be sacrificed to save the rest of the band, always choose the fat guy. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

If you don't want to wash your blood, just take a swim in a public pool. link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0)

When you get wasted, a big brown bear appears out of nowhere. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

The best way to kill yourself, is a shotgun to the dick. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

Don't ever puke on a squirrel; she can mess with the rest of your life. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

Playing "Home Sweet Home" in your car, can get you killed. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

The best way to stop a bazooka shot is a 9mm bullet. link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0)

If someone is behind you in an airport, he is following you to kill you for sure. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)

You can rob a lot of banks and get away from the police, to live alone (but with money) in a shit hole for the rest of your life. link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0)