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Apparently there's at least one person out there that wants to be Michael Bay. ~ Max @ 05/22/13 link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Mega Man
If you want the villain in your movie to be taken seriously, tell the actor to give him a goofy high pitch voice. ~ Max @ 05/22/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Mega Man
When dealing with a pre-warp civilization that has barely invented the wheel, the best way for Enterprise to stay undetected is to dive and hide at the bottom of the ocean, 'cause you know, Stone Age people might spot her orbiting the far side of the planet and rising from the ocean looks awesome in 3D. ~ moontrekker @ 05/21/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
KHAAAAAN!!!!!!!! Scream it loud enough and it will echo into space. ~ agentdc7 @ 05/20/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
If you have half a drink, there will be more vodka in your piss than there is piss. ~ ekant @ 05/20/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Gattaca
The people at Gattaca will notice scars from laser eye-surgery. They're blind to contact lenses however... ~ ekant @ 05/20/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Gattaca
Man-sized incinerators of the future come up with a switch - inside. ~ ekant @ 05/20/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Gattaca
The exact height of the front bender of the '99 Chrysler LeBaron. ~ ekant @ 05/20/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Gattaca
"You should have let me sleep"
So essentially Khan was just a really cranky guy because he didn't get his ni-ni time? ~ IcyNeko @ 05/20/13 link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
when being pursued by a psycho witch, always film it so that others can make it into a movie ~ nman @ 05/19/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Blair Witch Project, The
KHANNNN!!! If Kirk can't say it, Spock will. ~ agentdc7 @ 05/19/13 link
Rating: 3 (+3/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
So now is it going to be William Shatner's head or Chris Pine's head that Phillip J. Fry steals in the 31st century? ~ john2012 @ 05/19/13 link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
At least in this reboot they had the decency to kill Pike instead of making him live out his life in that thing with beeping lights to talk. ~ john2012 @ 05/19/13 link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
Lets take one of the coolest vilians of all time played by Mr. Suave himself, Ricardo Montaban and replace him with a stuffy British dude. ~ john2012 @ 05/19/13 link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
Russian soldiers always sit around in clouds of cigarette smoke, in a snow covered base. ~ moontrekker @ 05/18/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Independence Day
USAF does not have a single SAM and/or AA gun. ~ moontrekker @ 05/18/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Independence Day
It's probably better to use HI-EX on the 72nd floor of the building you're trying to escape instead of using it on the ground floor ~ Splicer @ 05/18/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Dredd 3D
Best way to save your children is to leave them alone at night in the forest populated by evil witches. ~ randy @ 05/17/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
Edward is not always a name for good looking guys. ~ randy @ 05/17/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
When witches flee from battle they will undoubtedly choose a path where you have installed your trap. ~ randy @ 05/17/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
One powerful witch can easily defeat a witch hunter and bring a lot of mess, but she and a bunch of other witches are helpless when together. ~ randy @ 05/17/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
White witches are very easy to hook up with. ~ randy @ 05/17/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
After believing a vengeful terrorist who is extremely skilled at fighting, your red shirted guards won't question this fact and walk with him completely unarmed, which doesn't help the fact that he might decide to flip out. ~ Movie Genius @ 05/17/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
Rather than question whether you should be allowing yourself to obey a villain who you have just taken prisoner for trial on Earth, do exactly what he says. Since he is a vengeful terrorist who has just killed people in order to fulfill his motives, let him go with you completely unguarded, or more specifically, guarded without armed personnel, onto another ship with which he will wreak more havoc and get more revenge once he has escaped. ~ Movie Genius @ 05/17/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
Gotham has a very serious issue of bridge security, requiring them to re-build every bridge when someone decides to take a shot at batman ~ Splicer @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Dark Knight Rises, The
Self sufficient fusion reactors turn in to 3 month nuke time bombs when disconnected from its platform ~ Splicer @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Dark Knight Rises, The
Once upon a time, a producer said "You know what we don't have in modern American cinema? An hour of footage of Zack Efron in tighty whiteys." ~ bourbonphantom @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Paperboy, The
The only time swamp people don't procreate with their own offspring is when they are put in prison for murder. ~ bourbonphantom @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Paperboy, The
Depth perception is important in a melee, so if you are missing an eye then you're better off fleeing. ~ bourbonphantom @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Paperboy, The
If you want to uncover missteps in the justice system, do not entrust this task to a group of disfunctional maniacs. ~ bourbonphantom @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Paperboy, The
News reporters don't have time to get all the facts. ~ bourbonphantom @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Paperboy, The
Jack's background in swimming obviously prepared him for hiding under a boat in a nasty swamp filled with alligators and snakes. ~ bourbonphantom @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Paperboy, The
Inmates can't tell the difference between men and women in pants. ~ bourbonphantom @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Paperboy, The
If you want to be successful, develop an English accent. ~ bourbonphantom @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Paperboy, The
The moral of the story is that living with shitty people is an awful experience. Thanks Hollywood, that was a real eye opener. ~ bourbonphantom @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Precious
Mudd's shuttle came equipped with everything except external weapons and sensors. ~ IcyNeko @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
Despite having access to the remnant of an extremely advanced and powerful starship, go ahead and rebuild the Enterprise using her original design. ~ IcyNeko @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
Even though your shiny new ship has a bajillion phase cannons, when it comes to a killing blow, pull out your unnecessary rails rather than just continue to use the weapons that have successfully blown the snot out of the Enterprise. ~ IcyNeko @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
There's nothing suspicious about having a hero's ship blown to pieces. Especially when it's done in near-earth orbit. No one would ever wonder why there's a debris field from one of Earth's most advanced starships. ~ IcyNeko @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
The Enterprise's designers apparently not only made the engine room something like Willy Wonka's factory, but make the critical component that needs to remain aligned something that is hard to reach and hard to fix. ~ IcyNeko @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
Scotty is never doing Kirk any favors. No. Oh Alright. ~ IcyNeko @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
Spock will never reveal any details about his timeline. That being said, Spock will reveal details about his timeline. ~ IcyNeko @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
When a terrorist strike occurs in a starfleet facility, it's perfectly okay to meet in a predictable location. ~ IcyNeko @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 2 (+2/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
Starfleet HQ really has no aerial defense system? Seems like one of those places that should have the MOST in defensive technology. ~ IcyNeko @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
Nibiru is still around? I thought we'd deep six that planet, with all the conspiracy theorists running around. ~ IcyNeko @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 1 (+1/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
When it comes to a need for advanced weapon and starship design, rather than develop a think tank from the best and brightest scientists and military officers, it's a better idea to just revive an uncontrollable super enhanced maniac and let him design it for you. ~ IcyNeko @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
Kirk's body is very resistant to radiation-caused burns. Most skin would bleed from critically damaged skin cells to the point of skin falling apart. But not Kirk. Screen perfect. ~ IcyNeko @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
When two of your senior officers and close friends protest and even quit your team over a mission that has poor documentation and is against every protocol you've sworn to uphold... go ahead and continue on with that mission. What could possibly go wrong? ~ IcyNeko @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
Rather than do whatever you can to save a dying person, just mind meld with them so that you can experience their last moments. Because that's a better way to go about things. ~ IcyNeko @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Trek Into Darkness
After Emergency! Roy DeSoto comes into some money. ~ SPCAndyJ @ 05/16/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Road House
It wasn't "Luke I am your father" it was "No, I'm your father" my life has been one big giant lie. ~ Splicer @ 05/15/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
Albanian guard dogs bark continuously until you kill it's owner and shoot everyone in the next room ~ Splicer @ 05/15/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Taken 2
Empty bottles should not be kept near martial art competitions, someone is liable to use them as weapons. ~ scannerhead @ 05/14/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Enter the Dragon
When Bruce Lee taste his own blood during a fight, you know the person he is fighting is going to be in a world of hurt. ~ scannerhead @ 05/14/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Enter the Dragon
After you are involved in a drift chase all over tokyo for an hour and destroying half of the city, you can go back home in train. No cops will even try to stop you. ~ qwkslvr @ 05/13/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, The
You can cure gangrene of the fingers by gnawing off the black parts. The remaining stumps will not get re-infected. ~ Moontown @ 05/11/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Jack Reacher
"You hit him, then I'll hit you, then you hit me, then I'll hit you, and then you hit him again" is not a good fight plan. ~ Moontown @ 05/10/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Jack Reacher
A sniper who trains by firing 2000 rounds a week for more than two years will be an average shooter. Good shooters fire 8000 rounds per week. ~ Moontown @ 05/10/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Jack Reacher
Here, use this knife so no one can trace any bullets back to me. I'm going to use my gun. ~ Moontown @ 05/10/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Jack Reacher
A guy who can hit the center of a target at 700 yards should be given a knife, not a gun. ~ Moontown @ 05/10/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Jack Reacher
"I came here to bury him" is code for "I promised him that if he got into trouble I would help him". ~ Moontown @ 05/10/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Jack Reacher
"Conflict of interest" guidelines don't apply when the prosecuting attorney is the father of the defense attorney. ~ Moontown @ 05/10/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Jack Reacher
You can unhitch a train car with a handgun aimed at the link....I bet that takes a lot of practice to get it right. ~ scannerhead @ 05/09/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Skyfall
Guess back then there was no such thing as EMP weapons. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
Han Solo was incredibly bad with ship repairs: and treacherous ship crews were equally bad in sabotaging the Falcon's hyperdrive. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
Order a fleet to arrive at a location, deploy a walker force to take out the shield generator to force a bombardment, then fly into the base to prevent said bombardment. How else can Vader squander his military resources? ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
A fleet of multiple capital ships renowned for planetary destruction, plus full complements of bomber and fighter wings, can't dent a single energy field around the sixth planet in the Hoth system. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
You'd think they might have wanted to use some of their X-Wings sporting proton torpedoes against these AT-ATs. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
I guess cordoning that asteroid field was far too costly compared to flying your ships straight in there to look for one freighter. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
Saving the rebellion through incredible feat of bravery and skill doesn't ensure they will bother to look for you if you are missing in the blizzard. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
Who exactly thought it wise to send out two of their finest heroes on dangerous lone patrols without support in a hostile environment? ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
Lando is a man, but his ego was the size of a system. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
The closest thing the Republic had to an army was the Naboo militia and some babbling aliens playing with sparkly balls. Then a secret project to create a giant army of clones solved all their problems. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: The Attack of the Clones
Padme was not impressed with the size of Ani's lightsaber... ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: The Attack of the Clones
Wouldn't it be more sensible to just have a body double live in your regular estate, and relocate somewhere a little less accessible to bounty hunters? I mean geez, it already works at the start of the damn movie. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: The Attack of the Clones
That is one expensive clone army whose sole purpose of operation was to be mass-produced redshirts. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: The Attack of the Clones
This movie is a perfect example of how the world would look like if immature children were put in charge. Oh wait... ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
For being his master Obi-Wan has routinely failed quite miserably in instilling discipline in his only apprentice. Especially he takes it so personally that the council offers him a seat but not the title of Master. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
You'd think some senatorial hearing would commence after a battle where the enemy manages to get so close to the capital, AND successfully causes its flagship to go in a suicidal crash to the planet's surface. Or at the very least the entire planet is on some security lockdown. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
Its amusing how the officer core of the galactic government's military were made up of extremely incapable religious agents. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
The adult version of this movie would have Mace Windu screaming "WE GOT MUTHATF***ING SITH!" about halfway through the movie. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
The emperor's is coming. Dispense with the pleasantries. And get your ass back on schedule! ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
First Death Star losses: whole crew plus a few fighters.
Second Death Star losses: Emperor, fleet, premier battlecruiser, whole crew, political stability.
You'd wonder how they managed to be an empire for THAT long. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
What's better than a princess sorting a bikini? She's in chains and at the mercy of a fat slug. Every basement nerd's dream come true. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
Sending a mishmash fleet against a suspiciously vulnerable yet extremely high-value target, is like pointing a gun to your head without the need to make sure no rounds are chambered. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
I think that in this particular galaxy a long time ago, hazard safety and general security is the absolute lowest on the list of priorities. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
Nobody thought to dock that casually flying shuttle arriving all by itself from the middle of nowhere and verify its contents or destination.
But hey, its an older code, it checks out. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
The closest the empire has to a signals corps are a bunch of scout troopers and expendable probe droids. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
A handful of rebel scum can overwhelm a whole legion of the emperor's best troops when reinforced with a regiment of teddy bears. This legion also come with vehicles sporting heavy armament. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
Much better to invest in arrows and flint spears than advanced body armour. Or mechanized walker vehicles. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
It's odd how Luke after so many years alone on a farm didn't stash some adult magazines or had intimacy with nearby droids. He is in all technicalities a futuristic space redneck. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: A New Hope
Uncle Owen turned out to be a total douche. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: A New Hope
You'd think an entire moon-sized space station might detect one unidentified freighter, and alert arguably the most important person next to the emperor himself about it coming up on him. Or at least his two wingmates. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: A New Hope
That commander has a point: if Lord Vader isn't all talk he could conjure out stolen data tapes or at least give enough clairvoyance to locate a hidden fortress. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: A New Hope
Don't point at a flashing light on someone's dashboard. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: A New Hope
In a galaxy far, far away, senior military officers need not request permission to destroy whole populated planets and thrust the rest of the galaxy into revolt. It would be like nuking New York City...because hell I wanted to make a pointless point. ~ nee @ 05/08/13 link
Rating: 0 (+0/-0) | Star Wars: A New Hope
